How to Talk to Women

Pick a ‘Pick up’ venue. No, you are not car shopping. You need to go someplace where you can actually meet women, women who might in turn want to meet you.

• Bars and Clubs. Yes, they are cliché, but there is a reason for that. They work. Nothing like a little booze (in moderation) and good music (no moderation, please) to stir the pot. People go to places like that for two basic reasons: To be with your mates and to find someone with whom to mate. The first should be left alone, in general. If the girls are hangin’ they are usually not looking for love. The second might come with friends, but they are looking good, and looking around. They will be dancing and drinking (even if it’s a soda) and will often get up from the table-no sense dressing to be noticed if you sit down all night. Learn how to spot them and tell the difference.
• Grocery stores and farmer’s markets are also good places to meet and mingle. The conversation is right in front of you-food. Ask a question. “What goes with chard?” Women love a little helplessness. Not too much. Just a little.
• A coffee house is good and casual. Talk about the coffee. Invite someone to share your table when the seats are all taken. Keep it casual.
• A book store is great, and its easy to tell if you have anything in common. Just look for that special someone in the isle that you like. Talk about a book that you’ve read-loved it, hated it, whatever. If you see her looking at a book, ask her what she thinks about it.

Next, put yourself out there. Someone has to make the first move, unless you want your local pub to look like a middle school dance with the girls on one side and boys on the other. Look for an opportunity. If the venue has dancing, ask someone to dance. That is why women go to places with dancing. To dance. Hard to believe, I know, but totally true. “Hi. My name’s Bob. Want to dance?” Not hard to do and she might even tell you her name.

Okay, now you are ready to talk, but what to say? First, its not so much what you say as how you say it. Confidence is key lads, and even the corniest line like “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” will get a giggle if you say it right. Of course a corny line can also get you a sneer and the view of your target moving in the opposite direction. Also, look her in the eye. Smile, don’t leer, smile a genuine smile. If you need to relax, buy a drink. Just don’t get drunk. A little Dutch courage is fine, but no woman, no matter how desperate, appreciates a drooling drunk. Unless, of course she is already a drooling drunk herself, in which case go for it. Just don’t hate yourself in the morning.