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How Women are Competitive

On the job, in personal relationships, in families and in other ways, consciously, or unconsciously, many women compete with each other. The fact that they are not aware of their role as a competitor does not mean they are not competitive.

Having traveled to
different places in the United States, I have seen this fierce competition emerge, and
sometimes grow to the verge of hatred and alienation. Why do women compete, and how they
compete can arouse many interesting discussions.

One way women compete is in the workplace. They compete for promotions, higher salaries,
desired positions, and even compete to work near their friends. Many women take the approach
that they have something to offer which no one else can bring to the table. Some spend long hours
figuring out how to have the cutting edge on the job. Some overwork, or spend long hours on the
job to give the idea that they are truly dedicated and workaholics.

Others read extensively and find
words of saying things that give the boss the idea that they are in the know and “up” on current trends
and techniques. Others come in with an aggressive approach, not allowing anyone to tell them what
to do, but taking the helm, as it were, and giving off an air that says, “I know what to do, and do not
need your help. I will tell you what to do.”

Although, often these techniques are offensive by other workers
in the job place, they often work. Employers look for aggressive people to lead out when they are not
present, and are willing to put these people in charge as long as they get the job done.

When it comes to twisting things, or downright, outright lying, some women will resort to these means.
They see nothing wrong with creating conditions which will make others uncomfortable around them,
and a threat to them. These are the more vicious women who do not understand the fact that the way
you climb up the ladder of success, may be the same way you may have to climb down.

Hurting others, seeking to ruin other’s reputation is dangerous, and conspiring to have others fired or demoted is sometimes
executed smoothly by women who operate in this fashion. Their climb upward may be short lived providing
the right person in charge is around.

In the social field, women can be highly competitive. They may be envious of what other women have, and
seek to compete to show these women up. The competition can exist between mother and daughter, sister and
sister, neice and cousins.

Yes, it can be within families, or among friends. When a woman takes all her time
seeking to find ways to lure another woman’s husband, fiancee or personal friend towards her, she, sometimes
will go to no end to achieve her purpose. The man is in the middle, and he often has to make a hard choice when
this kind of competition ensues.

When another woman lets down her standards of dress, and taking personal care
of herself, she is invariably setting herself up for competition. When a woman refuses to meet a man’s needs, she
is also becoming a target for competitive woman. When men express their lacks, there are women who have the
knack of solving his problem.

I have seen women compete in fashion, decorating their homes, ownership of vehicles, jobs, education, finance,
their children’s achievements, food preparation, all in an effort to show those around them that they have something
the other woman cannot or does not have.

To me, it seems, that competitive women, themselves, are actually lacking
something within. If they have to compete to prove who they are, their motives are self-centered. When all is said
and done, I feel that selfishness lies at the root of their efforts. A woman who knows who she is and what she has
and has direction for her life stands on a certainly surer footing.

This discussion can go to greater lengths because there are lengths to which competitive women will go that will
unerve anyone. But for now, let us rest content in the knowledge that competitive women are here to stay. It is
up to the wise women to take heed and not fall into that kind of trap.

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  1. Karen

    On February 22, 2010 at 4:12 pm


    I am a woman and I get tired of being around snoddy, fake, competitive women. They drain me, make me tired, in the office. You have to put on an act, smile a lot, act like you want to fit in with them, when they are the last people you want to be around. I like it when i’m at home with my family, and hanging out with real friends. Competitive women are high strung, have too much energy, and start to show thier ugaly personalities on their faces as they age.

  2. Mia

    On March 8, 2010 at 1:28 pm


    I’m also a woman lol, although still technically a teenager, i feel in my forties (maybe a little bit younger) but I agree with you! Putting up fake smiles all day can be extremely draining, in the end you feel you have over used your facial muscles and then your lip just doesn’t want to stay up any more. I was careless once in the world of women. I never realised they put so much effort into being better than each other. I became a drug addict and then 2 years later I am no longer one, but since I’ve been back in reality, it is now clear to me how extremely competitive woman are. I try not compete with them, instead i follow my own trail and when someone comes along that’s better, then wonderful for them. We are all individuals and there are none like us, so embrace what you have and stop tobbing about what the other woman has. But my brother’s girlfriend lives with us and she drives me crazy! I honestly must say that when someone competes with you all day it drains much of your energy. So instead I gave up and let her have the slice of cake, but in the end I’ll be the one eating it, because all the effort she’s putting into competing will eventually become draining to her psyche and then i will have gone on with my life a long time ago, Haha!
    whatever, there really is no use in competing with woman. If you’re not supposed to have what she wants, then maybe you should search for something better (especially in the department of men).

  3. Catherine Halbert

    On November 5, 2010 at 11:51 pm


    I agree that women in society are extremely competitive, and I am no exception. I find myself competitive in the area of relationships, for example. My boyfriend wants to date other women, but swears that he’ll still love me the most and want to maintain a sexual relationship with me.

    I’ve been honest with him by telling him that I’d feel that I’m competing with his other women. I don’t have a perfect body. I’m in the process of trying to develop one, but it takes time, and I don’t believe that time is on my side. I’m terribly afraid that if he finds a love interest with a perfect body, he’ll want to dump me to be with her. He’s told me time and again that I’m special to him and that he’d want to spend time with BOTH of us, but in reality I’d still be obligated to compete with her in the area of physique, character, and cosmetics.

    My boyfriend says that he prefers me WITHOUT makeup, which means that if a woman who WEARS makeup becomes attracted to him, most likely he’ll take her over me because she’ll be sexier. (He says that some women look better without makeup, but let’s face it: What woman has ever graced the cover of a magazine WITHOUT makeup? Being a cover girl is a sure sign of physical beauty. A woman with makeup will ALWAYS trump a woman WITHOUT it.)

    I AM competitive when it comes to my boyfriend because I love him more than anyone in the entire world, but if I have to compete with other women in order to keep him, I will, knowing that as soon as he finds someone else, in his heart I’ll mostly likely be second best. Being his second is better than being single. Am I right?

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