Hurt No More

Somehow I was able to forgive him of all that he had done to me. I was able to understand how I contributed to this mess that we had made. I was a workaholic from sun up to sun down and the many times that he needed me, I was saying, in a minute. Those minutes turned into hours which turned into day, weeks and even two years. Someone else gave my husband what I was not giving him and it was  attention, conversation and time.

For two years I put this man through hell trying to make him pay for all the pain that he  caused me, all the embarrassment. He told me, I don’t care what you do, I always have and always will love you. He also said, “I do not care how long it takes I am going to be right here.” For two years my husband lived on our sofa in the den. He would say, “Baby can I come to bed.” I would always say no, I did not want him near me.

One day I realized that we may not be here another minute, hour or day and I needed to make amends. On this day my husband arrived home from work. When he walked through the door I had  lit the candles and created a fabulous meal.  I told my husband that he had paid the price and I could forgive him. I allowed him back into our bedroom and each day we begin to touch each other, then hold each other and finally the intimacy was their again.

What I did not realize was that I had no right to punish my husband, I had no right to live in hell with him, but what I have also learned is that sometimes when we are putting our all into work, we are forgetting to make time for loving those who love us. 

We are together and I know that it is by God’s Grace