I Love You, I Hate You, Marry Me
by A fun little piece on love and romance, written from the perspective of a cynical woman.
* A relationship is doomed unless it is stable within days. If a man and a woman cannot establish a connection within the first week of their acquaintance, there is no potential for romance. Love at first sight is a plus; feelings associated with “magic” are also desirable. The exception to this statement occurs in cases of love in the form of extreme hatred and can be referred to as the “When Harry Met Sally Clause.” If a man and a woman appear to despise each other, they are in fact, soul mates.
* Before a man and a woman can be happy together, the man must break the woman’s heart. Infidelity, name-calling, forgetting a date, and neglecting to properly reveal feelings of romance are all acceptable sins. No man is allowed to treat his significant other decently until they have hurdled this road-block. Remember, men are swine.
* Deep down, every man understands romance. After the couple has passed the heart-break stage and realized that they are madly in love, the man is required to do something ridiculously sweet. Be it flowers, candy, letters, songs, or a meeting at the top of the highest tower in the city, chick flicks show us that every man has both the capacity and the desire to be lavishly romantic. To make up for his previously swinish behavior, it is preferable that he also make a speech detailing his love for his significant other and all of her admirable qualities. A minimum number of tears is ideal.
* The most important thing in life is finding true love. Romance is the ultimate goal: When a suitable mate is found, work, family, and friends take back seats. Nuzzling and cuddling increase, and a happy ending is inevitable.
Put simply, this is how it is. It is my sincere wish that men will read these guidelines and consider them, in hopes for their own happily-ever-afters. Boys, remember to keep the romance alive, and happy loving!
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Post Commentc.s. robins
On February 24, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I honestly enjoyed this observance and advice to men from a no nonsense (sounding) woman. I hope they read it. It is straightforward and obvious. I hope you write more like this. I wil have to come back to check for more.
Steve West
On February 24, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Very honest and humorous perspective on men. Of course, I may beg to disagree on some of the comments. However, I am married and not Mr. Absolutely Gorgeous.
Mrs M
On April 15, 2009 at 11:16 am
This was funny and truthful in some ways. Very refreshing. Well done.
Julie McMurchie
On April 17, 2009 at 8:21 am
Very well written. Love your perspective on men, and your humor.
Scout
On April 23, 2009 at 3:57 pm
venus mars. The most important thing in the world for a woman is unconditional love and not to be a pretentious sh*T.Do you part in life and be accountable, not hiding IN FRONT of the t.v and say the catchall one, ye honey I’ll do that in a minute.Be a man, not alfa male, wear the womans heart for a change and learn. I’M finished, Great piece of work.
Niels
On May 4, 2009 at 11:32 am
LOL.
Most of these things are derived straight from the Hollywood brainstorm. Still though good article.
What do you think of my articles about dating?
Here they are: http://www.livedatingsupport.com.
- Niels