I Wrote a Song One Day
by How you can see threw a friends eyes your own self and about writing songs.
They won’t get off the dance floor, they’re so wrapped up in each other. I get this heavy thud in my solar plexus. He could at least say hello and goodbye to me. I was going to have to get out of there pronto as smoke was coming out of my ears and I don’t make scenes.
So as the grapevine goes I hear he moves in with the blonde nurse. Ron has cancer and he likes women to nurse him. I notice I was a nurse type pattern also, just until I didn’t want to be one. Since his days are numbered here, the blonde makes a deal with Ron. I’ll nurse you for the money honey she says.
To make a long story short Ron comes crawling back to the one who gives it away for free. Do I look stupid? I could forgive him easily enough. He’s just a man. They are always doing something wrong as that’s their nature. But as far as intimacy again, no, he was the last guy I’d ever take into my bed. I was just plain tired of romance and trying to get it right. I had been deserted on the dance floor while wolves closed in from all sides. I didn’t even get a post it note saying I was out of luck. It’s the ultimate blow to be ignored. Better to be screamed at or hit than to be ignored like you weren’t there.
He had given me his gift at last. I had asked the universe “where’s my song?” The lyrics “who’s gonna listen to you?” means Ron doesn’t listen to his softer side; his female side. There’s a message to humanity in the words because we all experience what we perceive as failed relationships when in actuality, that relationship may be just what you need to make yourself strong, to wise up to express yourself in the moment if something is not right. In retrospect, if something like this happened to me today, I’d speak my piece right away and not huff out the door with my tail between my legs. It would have been better for Ron to know how to respect people in general. Maybe it’s a matter of bad manners, or maybe it goes much deeper than just bad manners. Or could it be there wouldn’t be a song to write if things hadn’t happened just as they did? I knew anger was a powerful thing and maybe I would hurt someone worse than what my intentions were, so I kept it in.
I needed Ron to throw me away. I needed time off to do my 40 nights and days of contemplation. It was all incredibly meaningful in the end.
The song is also a cry for commitment within relationship, so that we don’t throw away the value of that relating. We don’t really need commitment of the relationship as lovers however we could conceive of commitment to communicate honestly. I would have settled on friendship with Ron, I would have accepted he had found a replacement for me if he could be honest. He could ask me to go away. I would have gone quietly. I was no longer in love, but I still wanted respect. The songs helped me unstuff the pain. That too was part of the gift he had come bearing. I figured it’s ok to love more than one person in your life, but it’s far kinder to love one at a time. If you’ve got any relationship at all, nurture it proudly; it may be the last one you get, and that may be as good as it gets. So who’s gonna listen to you? Shhh… Listen to love. It will take you all the way home.
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