If Someone Had the Answers in Life, The Secret Would be Out Already

You know when you’re hurting – like, really hurting, and you feel like you can just call the person up and spill your heart out, and they’ll just be like, “Oh my God, I had no idea I hurt you like that. I’m so sorry” ? Except it never seems to work like that outside of movies. So soon you realize that all you can really do is put away your melodramatic mix tape and accept that they’ll never be sorry. And probably never think about you, or at least never in the way you’d like.

Life isn’t always a vacation. Sometimes, it’s a huge electrical storm, and you can’t expect to always be indoors when it hits. Sometimes you’re in the middle of an open field and it feels like it’s only raining on you. Sometimes you run fast enough to make it to your car on time. Other times you get hit by ligtning, and all you can do is lay there thinking about how much of an idiot you are for being outside in the first place.

So you lay there and decide the best thing to do is try to sleep. Sleep is deadly. It’s the one time your mind can take over and you can’t control what it thinks about, what it wishes, what it regrets. So you try to stay awake and think about the times where you’ve felt like life was finally going your way, and nothing could bring you down. If only you could think of any of those times. If only you’d had them. But it sure as hell beats lying awake, trying so hard not to wake up just to find that everything isn’t okay, and it’s not getting any better.

There are three kinds of people in this world. The first are paced well, they accept responsibility for their words when it matters. The second are running out of breath, they only know half of the weight their words and actions might hold. The third kind are just in a whole other olympics, and they couldn’t care less.

One of my best friends told me once that the only reason why people get used and treated like trash by others is because there are good people out there who can be used. Stop wasting your energy on everyone. Go a day without caring about anyone but yourself. Call it selfish or anything you want, just get in the bubble bath. Think about that one summer when the sky was so blue it wasn’t part of this world. Think about that one place that made you believe in something. In anything. Think about that one time you felt all your worth slip onto the ground and soak into the dirt. Think about how it hurt like hell until it healed. But the point is, it did heal. Realize you may feel like that again, and prepare.