Importance of Bonding in Relationships

               Throughout life, our sense of who we are is influenced by our relationships.  A strong desire to bond with others is part of our biological makeup, a quality that increases our chances of survival by converting relatively weak individuals into groups that cooperate to gather resources, defend its members, and raise children. Even in today’s high tech world, where information is more important than hunting partners, close relationships give us the reassurance and knowledge we need to cope with life’s challenges.

                People seek intimacy on many different levels throughout adulthood, including partnerships based on romantic love and sexual sharing, reciprocal relationships with family members and trusting friendships. There are different forces that draw people together:

Physical Proximity:

                Even among adults who live or work near each other, people who live or work very close by are likely to become friends.  Physical proximity is very important because we are designed to like and trust familiar things. Whether we are judging people, drawings, or new products, the amount of repeated exposure we have with a target influences how we feel about it. In the modern world of instant messaging and online journals ( where physical distance is not tightly linked to exposure), this result suggest s that people who are out of step with the ways others are communicating might find it harder to strengthen their relationship.

Similarity:

                Exposure is important, but it is still the case that we don’t become friends with everyone we know. Generally, we prefer to be with people who are like ourselves in terms of physical attractiveness, gender-role attitudes, interests, beliefs and values. When the structure of the physical or social environment encourages people to interact, joint experiences make them more similar to one another over time.

Emotional influences:

                It is obvious that we are attracted to people who like and make us feel good about ourselves, but we also get attracted to people who happen to be around us when we feel good.  In a related vein, a sudden, intense sense of connection often develops when we are in highly arousing situations like an exciting experience away from home. Stressful situations increase our need to be with others, while the act of talking about shared mishaps helps us feel emotionally close.