Important Considerations for Getting Your Ex Back
by Breaking-up is never a pleasant episode in our lives. The pain, the grief, confusion, the overall loss – devastating stuff. Here are a few suggestions that may help you, in your time of bewilderment.
Feelings of panic and desperation, tend to go hand-in-hand after a relationship break-up. Maybe you are also being weighed down, with the thought that you don’t want to burden anyone else with your problems. Probably also, you just don’t want to talk about it, or you do and just can’t bring yourself to. You are confused and not sure which way to turn next, or who to.
Rather than charging off and doing something rash, try the following, in order to create some sort of sanity out of your current chaos.
Hold Everything! And Don’t Forget to Breathe
At the moment, everything about you is in a state of flux. Emotions are all over the place, can’t think straight, not sleeping. Probably not eating, or at the very least, not very well – basically, you’re a mess. This time, now, is when you must cease all activities – and go and hide. Too right! Call work and tell them you are sick – which in fact, you are. You cannot even look after yourself – what good do you think you will be to anyone else? We’re not talking about extended leave here – just take a day off, away from Everything! Lock the doors, disconnect the phone – throw your mobile out the window.
You may not realize it but during this particularly trying time – you are physically exhaused, too. But more importantly, you need “alone time” to collect your thoughts, and to get over the initial shock – initially, you will experience “post traumatic shock”. Like any shock, you need some time to stop shaking and get your head together.
This is not a time for getting drunk, or gorging on junk food, or anything else that will make you feel even worse tommorrow. Nor is this alone time to be used for wallowing in your grief. Although your grief cannot be denied, this time is for reflection, calming down and relaxation. You need to recover some of your former strength, because you have to go back to the real world at some stage, and sooner rather than later. Whether you like it or not, life goes on, with or without you – it’s better when you are there.
Leave Your Ex Alone
Unfortunately, for a lot of people, there is a child-like belief – that if you call your ex often enough, or leave messages, texts, or emails, with declarations of undying love and “I Miss You’s” – that this will solve things. The fact is that, apart from the similarities to stalking – you are only going to send you ex running in the other direction. Remember, too, in order to get your ex back, it pays to be able to think rationally and act coherantly – this is not you, at the moment. What is necessary here, is a bit more time and a bit of space between the two of you. Let things settle a bit, first.
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