In Praise of the Shy

There is a myth that far too many women still cling to.  I think it has something to do with our cavemen ancestry.  There was a time when it made sense to want the biggest and strongest and most confident men in the tribe.  You were being chased by saber toothed tigers and struggling to survive.  The nerd in the corner trying to make a computer out of a rock and studying the cave paintings all the time was just not going to cut the mustard. 

In the modern world, however, the confident man has very little to do.  In fact, the confident man is usually the guy who is working in the middle-management job and going nowhere fast.  It’s the geeks who are running things these days.  Bill Gates has become their all-powerful lord and master.  Look at the way Hollywood cow-tows to them at the San Diego Comi-Con every year.  The world lays at the feet of the meek, and yet women still sit at bars and wait for the guy with the most “confidence” to walk up to them.  They still insist that “confidence” is sexy.

The problem is that this is a total myth.  Your average “confident” guy is also your average “arrogant ass.”  Why?  Because he knows he is hot and good-looking and if he walks up and starts talking to you he will make you think you are the center of his world.  In reality, you are just one of about 48 women he has used the same lines on that night and he thinks you might just be dumb enough to fall for them and maybe will want to head back to his place “bouncy-bouncy.”  If you say no, well, Mr. Confident will just adjust his hair, insist you are a lesbian, and them move on down the line.

That is the truth about men and the truth about the confident guys.  They really only care about themselves and they certainly don’t spend much time caring about you.  What they know is that if you dump them they can head out to the bar or the grocery store or the laundry or wherever his hunting grounds are and find another one who looks just like you but maybe doesn’t talk so damn much.  He knows he can always lower his standards a bit and find a girl who won’t want to talk to him all the time or expect him to bring home flowers or do anything romantic.