Infidelity: Cause and Effect
by What make someone cheat.
Let us look at this subject without bias; if we look at how humans developed we can begin to understand what drives a human to look elsewhere when in a relationship.
As primal humans our mating drive was only to reproduce, for men that drive was to find a mate that would bare him an offspring. There was no need to find love just a woman that would father him a child.
For a woman the choice was a bit more complex; she needed to find a mate that could protect her, could father strong children and that could provide for her and her young.
Not so different from now is it?
Let us jump those millions of years and see how life is now.
When a man goes out with his friends he describes this as going “out on the pull” what he is really doing is going hunting, he doesn’t see that all he wants to do is spread his seed but that is what it amounts to. He walks into the club and immediately notices every woman in the building, first looking at her breasts then her hips, not her behind as most men think. Why are they looking at these parts? It all comes down to instinct, can the woman he is looking at give him children, and can she feed them. As you can see man has not changed in all the time humans have walked the Earth.
When a woman goes out she walks into a club and looks around at the men. Her nose picks up the scent’s coming from the men. She sees a man and studies his body, his shoulders, arms, legs and chest, broad shoulders and strong chest to protect her, strong arms to throw a spear and provide for her, strong legs to run in the hunt. All these points show her who can provide and who can not. Now let us also consider the other factor. A woman needs someone that can make strong children and for a woman that does not just mean physical strength but also mental strength. That is why she might pass up a weight lifter for a smart good looking man.
As you can see from the examples above humans have remained the same since they arrived on the planet, the same in instinct only, even when it is unconscious.
But back to our subject now that we know the basis for our behaviour in mating we can work out why men and women stray in a relationship.
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Post CommentInfidelityexpert
On May 9, 2010 at 12:24 pm
One of the most difficult aspects of managing infidelity relationships is the sense of betrayal. In many ways, the violated partner will be coping with the most challinging events of their lives, which comes as a consequence of their trust being violated. Of course, no one ever thinks that infidelity will happen to them, and that fact is a major contributor to the unfolding shock. Too, there is the fact that at such times of difficulty the person they would most likely seek out for support is the very one who has caused the distress.
Therefore, the violated partner will need the support of friends and family, and it is advisable to talk about your relationship problems at every available opportunity. The worst possible action would be to harness all your thoughts and feelings to yourself, which would cause tremendous stresses and confusion. As you talk to your various friends and family, it will become clear that some will handle the situation better than others. You want someone who not only listens to your concerns but who can countenance impartial advice that would help move those states forward to beneficial outcomes.
It is not uncommon in infidelity relationships, for many months to pass before any reasonable clarity can be gained, and even then there will most certainly not be a ‘hallelujah moment’. These states are in a process, and as such it will be small steps that will ultimately lead to the big changes in relationships. For many people involved in infidelity relationships, they find that these changes are virtually unoticeable, but slowly, after time, they realise that some improvements are beginning to unfold.