Insecurities: The Male’s Perspective

Lack of trust and jealousy can be a downfall to any given relationship.  As you read on you will begin to understand one man’s perspective on how being insecure about his relationships, past and present had forced him to feel inadequate, and somewhat reluctant to see the woman gender for what they really can be, if you find the right one that is.

According to Ronald his doubts and insecurities began when he began to consort with promiscuous females.  His first real relationship at the age of eighteen was with a girl who was still involved with someone else, yet refused to break it off for fear of her boyfriend retaliating by hurting her, or Ronald simply because he was obsessive; and possibly certifiable.  Okay that was over before it even began, but it left Ronald not only bewildered, but somewhat confused until he met his second girlfriend.

Developing feelings for this one although easy, had quickly turned into a nightmare when he became aware of a threesome she was involved in with her best friend, and Ronald’s brother.  Talk about a double whammy.  Of course, finding out through hear say wasn’t enough. Ron needed and wanted to hear the truth from her, and even though she constantly denied it occurred, pictures soon surfaced and he was tossed for a loop when he finally had the proof to confront her cheating and lying ways.  After a few conversations, and a lot of arguing Ron decided to forgive her because he was in love and she promised it would never happen again.  Suffice it to say Ron remained with her for a year and a half before finding out more about her past relationships, and partner’s, and he couldn’t fathom the idea of trusting this girl from then on; so he decided they had to each go their separate ways and finally cut her loose.

For a few years he remained alone, and due to his experiences with women in the past, he had somehow lost himself to the turmoil and the hurt he experienced, and was now reluctant about having a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex.  Insecurity took over and he now finds it very difficult to let his guard down or even let true love shine in.

Ronald is now involved with the girl of his dreams.  They share a lot of great qualities, have the same moral values and get along extremely well, yet he can’t seem to let go of the past, and so therefore, the question remains in the back of his head.  “Will she break my heart?  Ronald constantly finds himself questioning everything his now girlfriend does with or without him and here is where the problem lies; for when in a relationship being insecure and untrusting can really take its toll.  Especially when the person you are with loves you and wants to be with you, yet somehow you doubt it.  Ronald basically finds himself asking questions that eventually lead to fights and resentment, because he can no longer trusts his choices in women.  The questions are ongoing, and even though deep inside he knows its wrong he can’t help himself.  When they are apart he calls and asks.  “Where are you?  Do you love me?  Will you hurt me?  Do you like my brother?  Have you done anything with my brother?  Where are you going?  What time will you be back?  Have you cheated on me or will you ever cheat on me?  Who called or text you today?  Who are you talking to or what would you change about me? “