Is Divorce The Answer?

Divorce seems like an easy solution for a couple that is going through hell.  Both parties go their separate ways, and hopefully find better companions. 

However, if you look deeply, divorce may not  be the only solution.  First, it is a wise idea to talk about the problems in the marriage.  If they are able to be fixed, try marriage counseling.  It may be expensive, but a divorce will be more expensive in the long-term.  If your spouse refuses counseling, he/she may be in denial of the problem, or unwilling to fix it.  Use your best judgement to see if you should try another method of reconciliation. 

You could try a trial separation.  If there are problems that can be worked out, time apart may help speed up the process. 

It has been said that people who divorce are more unhappy in the long-run.  Today’s economy does not give some couples much of a choice.  The real estate market is not strong.  If a divorce is necessary, and you must share a home, try staying out of each others space.  Maybe one partner should live downstairs or in the garage.

Never cheat during your marriage.  Divorce officially if you need another partner.  Otherwise, try to make it work.  If it doesn’t work out, at least you tried your best. 

If you are divorcing a Narcissist or a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, be aware of a concept called splitting.  It is where your partner sees you as either all good or all bad.  When you do as they wish, you are good.  Doing the opposite, such as divorcing N or BPD without their permission will make you all bad.  You may feel this loathing during the divorce process.  Research this issue and be aware before proceeding with a divorce.