Image via Wikipedia

They said separating from the person with whom you exchanged vow in the past is much easier than throwing a cigar on the waste bin. It’s no more than like  changing one’s clothes for those who considered divorce as an option for intolerable relations. Divorce has been the popular  decision among couples who could  not bear the demands of a marital life- mutual love, respect and support, resulting to separation and paving the way for new relation. It is considered as the new beginning for separated couples. But how about the off-springs of the previous marriage? To whose custody will the children belong? Will they be under the custody of their mother or father,  it doesn’t make sense at all. The issue at hand is , to  whose custody that the  best interest of the child is guaranteed.

Image via Wikipedia

Family laws among countries vary depending on the adhered social orientations. Some practice absolute divorce- complete dissolution of marital relation giving the right to remarry, while others, legal separation only, a mere separation from bed and board without dissolving the marital relation which in the eyes of the law  the parties involve remain as husband and wife of the each other.

But be it absolute divorce or mere legal separation, the thing is, the separation of the couple will give rise to  custodial  issue of the children.

Under normal circumstances, the best interest of the child is the determining factor to resolve this issue, taking into account, biological, moral, psychological and economic considerations. Under most national laws on family relation, like Philippines, no child below seven years old can be separated from the mother. In that, custody is usually awarded to the mother while recognising the father’s visiting rights and his obligation to support the basic needs of the child, such as but not limited to clothing, medicine, education, etc.

In exceptional cases, where the moral development of the child is put at risk under the continued custody of the mother in such situation like prostitution on her part or the child is indulge to commit acts of prostitution and other similar acts, the law will come to rescue and take custody from the mother in order to protect, “in loco parentis”, the moral and physiological growth of the child.

More often than not, child- custody issue is just one of the dark sidelights of couple’s  separation. While they can have  a new beginning, with their respective partners, the children from the previous marriage are still hounded by the trauma  they suffered from the bad relation of their parents of which they were born. After all, they are just innocent victims of two unresolved personalities.

Image by k763 via Flickr

Soon, they will grow- up and have their own family too. Soon, their parents would grow old with their realizations as well. And both would like to say if they could only turn the arms of the clock back to  know what will be….. for the right choice.

While parents have the option as to their relation with each other,  sadly, children don’t have the similar privilege in choosing as to who they would like to be their parents for a better future.