Is Honesty Danger for Your Relationships?

Nobody is perfect. At one time or another, we all withhold from the people in our lives, especially in our communication with those we love. Sometimes we treat this life as a stage and we have roles to play for the sake of our smooth relationship. We order our words. We order our smile. Even sometimes we put a false smile in our face. We speak ambiguous sentences. We usually do it because we don’t want to hurt the one we love. We think it’s good for them. Perhaps it is easy to be looked good before people who don’t know the real us. We do good thing here and there. We go to religious places. We speak good things so everybody thinks us as good ideal persons. The fact is: we withhold truth at various times because we are afraid of the other person’s reaction and we fear that the relationship will be changed if we say the truth.

If somebody asks me whether it is difficult to be honest, I will answer yes, it is. And if somebody asks me again whether being honest has risk? My answer is yes, the risk is big as if we are honest many people will hate us. But still I love being honest, because it can make me sleep tightly. But in the other side … perhaps the people who listens to my honesty cannot sleep.

Here’s an example of dishonest behaviour in a relationship: My friend has a girlfriend who is the daughter of a wealthy businessman. As a rich man’s daughter, she usually dines at 5 star hotels, and my friend has to spend huge amount of money every time they have dating. The problem is he doesn’t want to tell her that this habit spend huge amount of his saving. If they dated in simpler restaurant, after 2 years my friend will have enough money to buy a simple house. He says that he really loves her and doesn’t want to disappoint her by changing her habit. However he realizes that if he continues with his behaviour, he would create a “lifetime problem.” While most of us maybe don’t face the same situation, we can however relate to withhold a truth because we didn’t want to disappoint our loved one and perhaps to keep a promise. My friend is right to realize that his behaviour is probably not healthy and will create problems in his relationship in the future, but what to do? My friend used to find a way to bring her girlfriend to the first class restaurant even if it means withholding the truth of his financial situation, because he wants to please his girlfriend. In other side my friend was wearing mask that hide his inside.