Is It Love or Lust? You Decide

Love. What is it all about? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, love is in the eye of the lover. How do people know if they have found the person they could spend the rest of their lives with? Actually, it would be easier to know if we’ve found this person if we ourselves have an idea of what love is.

Usually, when we meet someone we fond of, there is probably something attracting us. We may feel attracted. Then if all goes well – you go out, have a good time, and find you want to spend more time with one another – you may begin to have more feelings for one another. But is this love? Time is the answer to all of these questions and the tester of the relationship.

Keep sex out of mind. When sex becomes part of the consideration, things become confusing quickly. Sex is a strong and powerful gift that should only be used in marriage to become more intimate – more intimate than you could without it. Outside of marriage it only serves to destroy any chance of truly knowing if you have love for someone or, if they have love for you.

If your relationship is based on sex you are more likely to be in an unstable foundation. If your feelings change, your desire to have sex will change as well, so will your so called feelings of love with this person and, the same is true for them? Sex will only work if you make love as the foundation of a marriage relationship.

Feelings change and this makes it an unsound base for a relationship as well. A lot of times feelings alter when the pleasure of sex has worn off or, the stuff you can’t stand about the other person surfaces with more occurrences. Sex will cause you to look past the things you can’t really breathe with in another person. And when sex fails to work for you, all you have left are all those things that annoy you about your partner.

So what is love? If you can keep sex from approaching into the picture the time you spend together can help you find out if you can love the person you’re seeing. You will find out what their morals are. You will learn what makes them tick and what drives them. You will find out if you could care for them through the time you spend together.

What are the interests you share? What things are you zealous about together? Are there things that get on your nerves – drive you wild? Can you live with those things? Are you driven by the same things they are driven by? Do all these happiness that you both share cause you to draw nearer or, do they make you want to spend less time together? If after you have seen all there is to see in a person and you are still drawn then you are ready – Ready for what? -To make a choice.

Love is not a feeling or desirability. It is a decision. In all the things you learn about one another you must consider whether or not you can live with those things. Are the characters in this person the characters you are looking for in a companion? Do their mistakes turn you off to the point that you will decide not to love at some point? Is there enough in them that you like and approve of for you to make a verdict to love them for the rest of your living? See, love is an action word whereby you decide about something to do. It is something you make a commitment to do in good and bad times. In other words you are deciding after the whole thing that you have seen that you can still love the person within.