Comments on: Is Your Partner a Bully?

By: Mildred C

Mildred C — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 07:08:22 +0000

Hello, everyone my name is Mildred. And I have been abused for 15 years on and off and I just would like to put some of my feeling down on paper just so some-one can hear my cry for help. well I can remember the first time I abused and didn’t recognized what abuse was back then he would start off by doing things by yelling at me when he would become upset with me for the simplest things for example my cousin wanted me to go out with her to a club and make it a ladies night, so I told her yeah not knowing or thinking that he was going to become upset over this but when I refused to stay home he took the knife from behind his back and cut my shirt with me in it. or the other time when he forced me to play this rushing roulette game that he taught me one day he actually left a bullet in the chambers and pulled the trigger and started laughing as I was loosing my mind then he pulled the trigger on his self saying damn i’m lucky he grabbed me by the throat and looked me like I was a stranger and said your my fucking bitch, my property and if u leave me I promise u i’ll fucking kill u…

he stabbed me and just before he did he said I wonder what its like to make u bleed and I was afraid to say something and he just did it… or many times he would tie things around my neck, or use his arm..if he tell me to do something and I don’t do it he would punish me in sex, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, he make jokes and sometimes try and make me laugh and if I don’t laugh he would tickle me, and then start to bite me really hard that I would start crying and he would apologize and then we would make love with or without my consent, I would tell to stop and tell him that this is rape and he would say so fucking what then i’m rapping you then and continue on with what ever he was doing and don’t stop until he’s done and he would make sure that he ejaculated inside me knowing that I wasn’t on the pill.

right now I pray, I read my bible from time to time, I highly believing the Lord but I don’t go to church, very close to my kid and family, but i’m also involve with my abuser the only lover I ever known who taught me everything that I know but never really knew me or never took the time to care but I feel in love with him dangerously in love… lord its gonna take me a long time to to truly let go.. but if I make it to my destination without him taking my life I would need a miracle to get my life back

thank you so much for taking time out for me to read my story please take care of yourself, be safe, I love u all and God Bless

By: No Regrets

No Regrets — Tue, 10 May 2011 18:20:20 +0000

I am in a gay (m) relationship for 11 years, everything was fine. I had internet affairs and me a guy who was a regular. My partner found out kicked me out and I was fine with it. The problem is that we have adopted a girl who is now 6. He asked me to move back and try to work things out. I did, and I am trying. He became a gambler addict, stealing money to feed his addiction. In July he grabbed a chair and whacked me across the legs with it. I simply walked away. In January while I was laying on the couch he striked me across the face with his fist and I again simply walked away. He gets verbally abusive, name calling, etc. I don’t listen to him I just walk away. I have changed my way of communicating with people, b/c it seems like they blame me. I love him but not in love with him. I love my daughter a great deal, with all my heart, but he tells her I don’t. He always threatens to leave, and I don’t respond, he is an adult and he makes his own mind up. Part of the reason I think is that I use to give him all the control and now don’t reply to his wishes and it makes him mad. There is so much more to this story but who can be my online friend to talk?

By: Moonchild

Moonchild — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 02:18:08 +0000

So sad to read of your abusive relationships. There really is only one answer – you must get out! Seek out a womens shelter or call Lifeline and ask for advice. Make up your mind not to put up with it any more! Get out any way you can.

By: Teya

Teya — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 00:58:43 +0000

hi everyone. Ive been in a relationship for nearly four years now and i really cant cope anymore. At first it was perfect. He was so kind and loving and i just constantly wanted to be with him. Things werent good at home and my mum ended kicking me out, and so after only six months i moved in with him. (i havent spoke to my mum since really, and i dont plan to.)
A year into our relationship was the first time he hit me. He said how sorry he was and i believed him. We moved into our own place, thats when things become much worse, and basically where i am now. Im only 20 but i hate my life too much to bare!
I no longer have any friends as i wasnt alowed out with them and they have all drifted away. ive tried to get into contact with them, and have told a few whats happening, but none of them care.
we can go a week or so and be happy but it doesnt last any longer. Then im verbally abused, he takes my money, as im the only one working, i cant wear certain clothing, i cant go certain places, im not alowed my own door keys, and where he knows i have no one or no where to go he will black mail and tell me if i dont do this or do that then he will kick me out onto the streets and make me homless. His sprayed bleach into my eyes, left stragulation marks on my neck, brusied my ribs, hit me with a hockey stick, slapped me, threw me across the room by my hair, strangled me, and pinned me to the floor with a knife to my throat.
He likes to have control over me and tells me a womens place is to listen and be told what to, not the other way around, and i should be lucky i have someone like him as some men would have beaten me to a pulp. All i want is to be happy but i have absoloutlly no one to help me! I wish there was someone that could….

By: Help me asap

Help me asap — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:17:09 +0000

Hey ive been with my bf over 3yearz he always puts me down! I havnt had a gud relationship with my family as i have been in care most my life, and he always puts me down i am 18 and i am actuly considering ending my life i cant deal with it anymre! He nipz me,pun2hes me,kicks me, cals me,tramp,fat,ugly,at least my mum never put him in care, i honestly duno wot to do and its ovdr the smallest things, e.g i wanted my house keys to go hme and he wudnt gv me them, so he cald me a tramp infront of my cousin and shoved me i was left s4tting outside my front door step for an houre, e.g 2 if i dnt get him a drink he wil kick me, if i dont give him my fone he wil cal me names! Help i am cons4dering ending my life any advise any1? And i find it hard to end my relationship as it has been my longest i su7hed into love too soon plz help me!

By: Rach

Rach — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 13:48:29 +0000

my partner has crushed my confidence, i feel im going mad cos of all the things that are going round in my head, i know its my fault for letting it happen but i put up with it because i dont want to lose him. i wish he could respect me and all i do for him we are both 30 with 1 child we have been together 5 years and things are not getting any better.

By: mary

mary — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 17:17:53 +0000

hi im new on here i recently went on holiday with my bf and our 2 daughter,s and his 16 year old daughter and we went to the fair , i couldnt go on one of the fair rides as im a a chubby girl and have big boob,s wich stopped me going on there, so my bf took the mik out of me and basicly bullied me through the whole holiday even his daughter thought it was bad that some one who is supposed to love someone can be that cruel i am really angry and upset over this he has been like this for years now and i cant find the strengh to stop it , his ex threw him out because of his drinking and he left with nothing but he feels that he will take everything from me because of leaving his last relationship with nothing i have to children wich need all of the thing he wants to leave with but as he said all of its my falt any advice plz

By: sally dunbar

sally dunbar — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 23:29:25 +0000

my boyfriend puts me down when it\’s just me and him, he never does it infront of anyone.
if i say something and i haven\’t said the world correctly he will pick me up on it, when im cooking he watches over me to make sure im doing it properly he shouts at me for the least we thing.
He never does this infront of an outsider just infront of the kids, after a few hours i think it\’s me and i am mad, he also used to hit me but that stopped over a year ago but i still get scared when he shouts.I knw he\’s a good person and maybe i wind him up but this is really upsetting me

By: S Bunyan

S Bunyan — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:59:43 +0000

Sorry – that phrase should have read, ‘It’s NOT anger that causes abuse.’

By: S Bunyan

S Bunyan — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:57:14 +0000

There are so many abusive people about and so many victims.
The trouble is, these (abusive) people are so charismatic, aren’t they? you just don’t feel you could ever get ‘the rush’ with anyone else – the passion – the adreneline. So you go on just making one excuse after the other. She/he loves me really – just has a short temper / high expectations / stress at work / wrong time month / money worries / bad back / runny nose / broken nail (insert what you like) – and if ‘I’ didn’t annoy him/her so much – we’d be fine. Sound familiar?
So, you think, ‘I know, I’ll be extra good tomorrow – kind, attentive, loving – then we’ll get that warm, fuzzy, exciting ‘in love’ feeling back. I won’t SAY or DO ANYTHING to upset him/her.
In fact, I’ll walk on egg shells – I’ll walk on red hot nails if it pleases him/her – because deep down, he/she really loves me – if I can only measure up.
WISE UP! If you are on here asking these questions you are in an abusive relationship.
no-one EVER has to tip-toe around in a healthy r/s.
These people never change. IMO so-called ‘Anger Management’ courses are a waste of time. It’s anger that causes abuse – it’s abuse that causes anger. In other words – an abusive personality will use anger as a tool to CONTROL.
Educate yourselves. Google NPD, Bullies, Emotional Abuse.
Learn their tactics and GET FAR AWAY from them.
Let the wingnuts whirl in their own selfish universe. seriously.