Labels and Relationships; A Query

Alright faithful reader-drones, I have a question, actually, I have lots of questions, but we’ll stick to the one topic for now. Does the act of labeling a relationship as such make it a relationship? Do the labels we place on the relationships of others have any bearing on anything? Who is more eligible to label a relationship, those in it or those outside? Lets break these down and look at them.

1. Does the act of labeling a relationship make it one? 

Some back story; I have no idea how long I’ve been with my boyfriend. It’s been somewhere between a little less than a year or a little more than two, almost three. The reason for this discrepancy is that we were as good as dating, but denying it openly, until we decided we were just dating. The real question here is, did we begin dating when we decided so, or was it when the feelings were first mutually requited and we started “acting like a couple.” 

It’s easy to look at this either way. On the one hand, we weren’t technically dating until we said so. The relationship in its current incarnation didn’t begin until we made a mutual spoken agreement. On the other hand there are people who have been together avery long time, are as much married as anything, and simply choose not to make it ‘official’ and we can’t disregard those relationships as being ‘less’. 

From the other standpoint, we have been together for as long as the feelings have been mutually requited. This makes sense, our relationship hasn’t really changed just because we finally started admitting it too people. Yet this method of calculation is complicated, because you can’t put a date on it. Also, we may or may not have been in this relationship while seeing other people. 

2.  Do the labels we place on the relationships of others have any bearing on anything?

So while you’re mulling over question one and trying to figure out if what you call your relationship means anything, I want you too think about this. A lot of time we put labels on other people’s affairs to make them clearer in our heads. We may look at a couple that has lived together in a romantic relationship for many years and just decide that they’re married, regardless of the legal implications. We may look at a young couple and decide that they are dating even if they insist otherwise.