Labels and Relationships; A Query
by In which a headachy Aki ponders the act of labeling a relationship and, for what might be the first and only time, cares what you think.
Unfortunately, the labels we use differ. What I call ‘dating’ my grandmother (because Old people are strange) refers to as ‘going steady’ and gets confused when I use the two terms interchangeably. Not that I can blame her for being confused by her granddaughter’s social circle, it confuses my half the goddamn time. But do these labels matter? I mean, they’re benefical on the one hand. It helps me out when I’m telling a story to just say “my ex-girlfriend dumped me for my best friend” than “This girl that I was as good as dating, but hadn’t made it official yet because I was terrified of her step-dad, informed me that she was interested in my best friend.”
On the other hand, labeling things can cause people problems. A pair that aren’t dating, but are labeled as such, will run into problems when they start seeing other people (see above the statement about how my boyfriend and I may/may not have been seeing other people while accidently involved).
3. Who is more eligible to label a relationship, those in it or those outside?
The answer to this looks obvious doesn’t it. Naturally you should have more right to dictate whether you’re in a relationship or not, right? But then…on the other hand…your BFF and what’s-his-name are obviously ass-over-tea-kettle for one another and should just admit that they’re dating. Not so simple is it? People are occasionally fucking blind and stupid. They can’t see the fact that the object of their affection is making hearty-eyes at them no matter how often you threaten to hurt them if they don’t notice. But then again, what right do we have to label their love?
The end story is that people and relationships are fucking stupid and complicated. Hella complicated. Fuck, this is supposed to be the easy part of a relationship, figuring out if you’re in one or not. Imagine how much more complex things get when you introduce factors like sex, jealousy, polyamory or god-forbid, children. Life and relationships are just one giant fucking powder-keg waiting to blow. But hey, they make for good stories and thoughtful evenings. Got any answers? I’d love to hear them. In the meantime, I’ve got a goddamn headache. Make me a sandwich.
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