Learning to Fight Fair

In a relationship, whether dating, married, or divorced, fighting happens and can in time be useful as long as you fight fair. There are simple way to fight fair so the fight is useful and helps you grow.

The number one rule when fighting, especially with kids, is to take the fight into a private room and keep it in a private room. Fighting in front of the kids causes lots of problems mostly when it is often. If you can talk through it and show your kids that people disagree but can compromise is one idea, but if it is going to not to a decent disagreement, then take it somewhere people can’t see.

The next way to fight fair is not to bring up grudges. Stick to what the disagreement is about and don’t bring up disagreements of the past. It is not the place to discuss who did what especially when you have already fought about it once and brought it to an end.

Remember the reason you are fighting about and the goal you are trying to reach. When a fight happens, there is something you dislike and something you want to happen. Keep that goal in mind while you are fighting because not only do you want to stick to the disagreement, but the statements which are made will stay on the subject as well.

You don’t have to be mad to the point of yelling to fight. Remember to be proportional in your intensity. The louder you get or the harsher the words isn’t going to help fix the issue that you are dealing with, but is just going to make another person madder and steer you away from the situation. The same goes for attacking the other person personally. Bring the other person down by attacking them personally leads you away from the issue too. It only makes them defensive and less likely to come to an agreement.

Lastly, keep a time limit on it. Walking around pouting about it a week later doesn’t help the situation. There isn’t much use in walking around for a while still having a silent fight. People around you, once again especially your children, knows what is going on and it brings tension in the house. Stress builds then and can leave last impressions as well.

In the end, fighting fair isn’t very hard. Know the issue and what you goal is. Go to a private room to keep it from everyone else. Steer clear of grudges and dragging down the other personally. Talk and find a compromise then leave it behind. By fighting fair, you save yourself and everyone around you a long drawn out painful experience, but to face the issue and find a conclusion so you can get back to the happiness.