Life After Love

Sure we have all been in love and sure we all have been hurt and dumped and thought that life as we know it is over and how are we ever going to move on. I have been through these very experiences and more but found it pretty easy to pick up the pieces of her life and move on.  I had promised my friends that I would write at least a paragraph on how I did it and vowed that I would never let someone hurt me as bad as I’d been hurt in the past. I also vowed to share my experiences with those who came after me who themselves are trying to (or hardly trying) get over that special someone who isn’t so special anymore.    This article seeks to point out some of the techniques that I used, hope it at least touches one life, then I would have accomplished my mission. 

Step one

First thing you need to do is realize that it is over.  Too many times we sit by the phone waiting for him to call and say “psych! I just wanted to see how much you love me” or “let’s get back together because I can’t live without you or whatever great “get –back- together” speech you have panned out in your head.  So let’s delete the guy/gal’s number off our phones, BLOCK and delete them from whatever messenger and email service that we use (you can re-add them after you’ve officially gotten over them). 

Step Two

The next thing that needs to be done is find a healthy distraction.  Get into something that you love and always wanted to do but never had the time for (because you have lots of free time now) like a dance troupe, an art club, a book club and enjoy the company of strangers for an hour or two a day.  These people don’t know your problems, have problems of their own and will not have a pity party for you.

Step Three

Meditate.  Meditation was always a very helpful release for me.  Get some very calming music, (Enya worked for me) and get to know yourself.  Also, do not fear your thoughts because everything will most probably come rushing back during meditation time.  Relax and be one with your thoughts.  Praying before meditation may also help, let’s the Man(or Woman) upstairs know exactly what you want to gain from this. 

Step Four

Hanging with your friends is always a healthy release.  Party, go to dinner, go to the movies! Whatever! Just hang out and make a game out of mentioning the ex’s name. For example, fine your friends if they so much as mention his name.  Yes, make them pay you for your pain. 

Step Five (optional)

Find a rebound guy.  This is the guy who is going to give you all the attention you want in the world.  Let him know though that you don’t want anything serious, you’re just looking to have fun (so no feelings will be hurt in the process). 

Step Six

Live! Just go on and live your life.  This guy or girl is most probably living theirs to the fullest while you sit and home and pine over them.  Go shopping, buy some new clothes and shoes and just live.  

Step Seven

Know that there is somebody out there for everyone and in due time, when you have learned to love yourself and accept you for who you are will someone else step in and love you.  Love does exist, we just have to have the utmost patience and be willing to wait for it to show up. 

Again, I just hope this helps at least one person move on because I know how hard it is to get over someone that you really love and you think who loves you back.