Live and Let Live

When I returned home that evening I was met with stony faces and an order to stay in my room. I was 15, I couldn’t really argue. Not that I really minded too much, I was accustomed to being grounded, it happened on a fortnightly basis; I would get in trouble, be grounded for a fortnight, be allowed out again and immediately find myself in further trouble ready for another grounding. In fact, if it wasn’t for school I doubt I’d have seen daylight in those days.

Sadly, my boyfriend died. It was a motorbike accident and thankfully I was lucky enough to have been grounded that night otherwise there’s a slight chance I may have been on the back of his bike. Hypocritically my parents couldn’t shut up about what a shame it was, how nice he was etc. I could’ve caused a scene and reminded them of how single minded and judgemental they’d been about him but I couldn’t be bothered. I went to his funeral and if it hadn’t have been for my friends I’d have buckled, my parents let me go alone, without their support.

Next came my exams and understandably I flunked them, hardly surprising considering what had been going on recently but my parents were not the sympathetic kind. By this time I’d lost interest in anything educational and just wanted out of the system. Work appealed far more to me and I saw this as a way of being able to escape the clutches of my parents. They weren’t bad parents and when I think of the suffering that some kids have at the hands of their parents I feel silly feeling the way I did. I wasn’t unloved, abused or neglected, just a little stifled if I’m honest. I am the eldest child of two and I have a brother. Boys are treated differently and the eldest usually gets the shittier end of the stick.

Children don’t come with instruction manuals, I’ve learnt this having had two kids of my own but until you experience parenthood for yourself, it’s hard to walk a mile in someone’s shoes. I love my parents dearly but they’ve both been guilty over the years of bigotry and a self righteousness that was totally unnecessary.

Despite the number of “events” that have occurred throughout my life I am very proud that I’ve dealt with most of them myself . In addition to this, I’ve shielded my parents from the majority of the madness due to the fact it would be too difficult to help them understand. They have always had each other and have no concept of what it’s like to “go it alone”. I laugh to myself and describe them living in a bubble; my description is not too far removed from the truth, however if this is what works for them, who am I to argue.; live and let live I say.