My Triond friend Mary J Dressel wrote a poem called The Passion’s Gone. You can find the link to her poem here. This poem inspired me to write to my readers about Losing Passion.

Passion, the fire, the infatuation in your relationship can lose its ardor. You must play with the passion, fan the flames of the fire and tease the infatuation to keep the relationship on its toes. You may love your love, but what is love without the passion?

All to often after a few months of a relationship or for the lucky few out there, a few years, sometimes the relationship becomes “same-ole same-ole.” In other words, we get use to it and it seems that we neglect it, as we never would have thought to do from the beginning. Of course, we don’t become neglectful on purpose. Who wakes up and says, “Oh, yeah, I guess today will be the day that we should drop the passion in our relationship, we got to get into a good old boring routine.” No, that doesn’t happen. But what is very real is that we most often do get caught in the boring routine and the passion is gone.

I am going to sneak peak you into my own relationship and a few ways that I and my love keep our passion alive, fan our flames and get each other infatuated on a regular basis. (Not to say that we feel this way every single moment, but our passion is pretty much regular.) I will tell you about our dips as well. When the passion just doesn’t seem to be happening, and how you can be accepting of those moments.

Disclaimer: My articles are always toward the married couple, monogamous relationships, and long-term commitments. It is only my intention to make the family stronger. To help lovers feel and be strong enough to move on together.

In saying that, let’s move on here.

Tantra, Kama Sutra, Sensual Massage

Let’s start with the latter of the title. Sensual massage is often thought of in conjunction with masseuses or sex. This is not all that sensual massage does to enhance the relationship. Even though a sensual massage can play a very good role in the bedroom. It can do even more to strengthen the relationship and bond between two people that love each other, without ever getting into the sexual act after all is said and done.

Sensual massages can be given spur of the moment. No clothes necessarily need to come off. Lotion your hands up and put them under the shirt or down the pants or up the pants or up the skirt, even. A few short minutes of this pleasure is sure to add some anticipation to the relationship. Especially, if there is no sex behind it. A little short massage on the way out to work, or right before the kids get home, or right after work, or before going to the store. These are great moments to slide a 2-5 minute sensual massage into the works.

Now, as for Tantra and Kama Sutra, these are better of planned events. Taking classes or learning from a book together can help to bring more passion into the relationship. As well as more heat into your love life. Like sensual massage, Tantra and Kama Sutra are not all about sex. They are about the strengthening of a loving relationship.

Seduction?

Oh, you thought that was only for our Models and Actors. Nope, this is most important in keeping the passion in your relationship. You most certainly used to seduce your lover in the beginning stages of your relationship. Now, you can learn to do this on a more mature level. Your strategies for passion should grow with you. Sometimes even some “old-school” seduction feels good.

Seduction is not all in the clothes it has a lot to do with mental attitude. Seduction is all about making your lover feel wanted. Enticing your lover to want you. Making them feel singled out and special. I can not stress enough that it is not all about the clothes that you wear. It is a brush across the skin. It is a whisper in the ear. It is a look in the eye.

Seduction is changing your plans for the day just to hang out with your lover. Seduction is helping your lover with much hated work, so that they can have some peace, especially if its something you never help with or if you have work of your own to do. That little extra effort always makes your lover feel special.

Conversation: Listen, Hear, Think, Then Speak

Yes, men I said conversation. Here is a how-to lesson on conversation. Listen to your lover. Hear what they are saying. After they finish speaking, then think about what they are saying. Then and only then should you respond.

A lot of times we converse with our loved ones haphazardly. We are men and women who speak a whole different language from each other. You can not talk to your man like he is one of your friends and expect him to understand. Men, you can not speak to your woman like she is one of your friends and expect her to understand. This is where thinking comes in. It gives you time to translate what was spoken in “Woman-ese” to “Man-derine.” And for women vice versa.

If you follow this cool how to lesson on conversation, you may never argue again. Hey, I said may…LOL!

My Last Stand on Passion

There are many ways to exude the passion in your relationship. Number One, you must want it. Number Two, just plain be creative. If you don’t know how to be creative, there are plenty of books and articles, just like mine written on the subject. The way to keep a relationship together is to work at it.