For some a brand new relationship is a rollercoaster ride to hell from the very offset, but for most of us it’s the most magical time. From the first flirty encounters, the first kiss, the first time you make love, through to the whole discovery of likes and dislikes. Some relationships take years to develop, some take minutes, and for some sadly the first time you find love can also be the last.

We are told that in order to secure a relationship for any length of time you need to nurture a relationship, and “keep it fresh”; spice up your sex life, surprise your partner in lots of ways, plan romantic trips away.  But what happens when you do everything by the book, and you have the perfect relationship, everything is working okay, and then one day you discover that the person you love is cheating on you? Self doubt is the first thing you think about, are you overweight, do you have hygiene issues, are you unattractive, too boring? Surely all of these issues if any apply were there from the start, and your partner overlooked them for a passion for you. Maybe it’s time to start looking if your partner is not so much put off you, but addicted to being in love, or more specifically first love.

I need to add now, that all these conclusions etc. I use in this article are purely my own thoughts, beliefs, and research. I have done no research other than to have this discussion with people I have knowingly known to cheat, and to be fair a question I have had to ask myself.

I’m not trying to dress up cheaters and create a new “condition”, my aim here is simply to help the people left behind when the other partner moves on. Because for someone left behind to know that the one they love has moved on can be a crippling experience, its full of self doubt, and some can drive them to the edge of their own sanity and beyond.

If your partner cheats on you, and the relationship comes to an end; before you start looking at yourself start looking at them. Hopefully you know enough about them to know about their past. You’ll have an idea of how long their relationship lasted; you might have a clue as to what bought it to an end. Look at how your relationship formed, were they still in a relationship or at the end of their relationship when you got together? How was your sex life? Were their indications that something was wrong, and can you relate that in any way to they’re past relationships?