Love Lost

Love is an emotion.  It can be a very complex and confusing emotion.  It is what makes you want to cry one minute and jump for joy the next.  Why does love have such tremendous power over a person?  Why does it have the power over life and death?  One minute you’re walking on clouds, and the next minute you’re as low as you’ll ever be.  Confusion becomes second nature.  Nothing you can do seems right.  You start to question yourself what went wrong.  How things got to this stage and it leaves you with so many questions that you just don’t find an answer for.

The pain of losing somebody so very dear to you is unbearable.  The scars would run too deep to close and heal.  The heartache would be too intense to cope with living anymore.  Beautiful memories start turning against you.  So many memories…so much pain.  So many good times spent in each others company.  So many plans to spend the rest of your living days with this beautiful woman that you love so much…all go up in smoke.  So many things remind you of your lost love that nothing you can do, nothing you can think of, nowhere you can ever go will save you from this awful sense of loss that you have to live with.   You start feeling guilty and angry at yourself for having the love of your life next to you and for some reason she is no longer there.  She is no longer there to smile for you, to kiss you, to hug you or to hold your hand any more.  You just want to be alone with your pain and try to nurse it as best as you can, always living with the eternal hope that one day she will return to you one more time.

You think back how it was when you were together.  Being with her was like getting a new lease on life.  Things were different, beautiful and life was worth living.   The birds seemed to sing sweeter and the sun shone brighter.  Waking up in the morning wasn’t as bad, mainly due to the fact that you woke up and started thinking about the one that has got as close as one can get to your heart.  Your whole body was filled with a pleasantly strange warm glow that radiated to those around you.  Every cell in your body vibrated uncontrollably.  You felt so high that it was almost possible to go on tiptoes and reach for the stars.  It’s something that takes over your entire being.  The way you think changes totally.  You start doing silly and Illogical things that you don’t normally do. You experience fear of being left alone if she ever leaves you.  Fear that your heart will be broken and a void that will never be filled again will be left.  You fear the bitter cold and the loneliness that will follow if this ever happens.  Is all this pain necessary?  Is all this heartache necessary?