Loving a Police Officer and Making the Marriage Work

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            Statistics show that between 60 and 75% of police officer’s marriages end in divorce.  The national average is 50%.  I’m sure you can guess the many reasons why so many marriages are doomed.  These are not easy men or women to live with.  In order to become successful in their chosen professions, these people have to develop into the type of person who can take daily insults, and not take them personally.  They shut down emotionally at the sight of the horrendous things we humans do to one another.  Shields are erected around their own minds so they can continue to function: to serve and protect.  That does not make them very good marriage partners.  Most of the time.

            I have been married to my husband for 23 years and he is a Police Officer.  When we met, he was a street cop, quickly rising through the ranks to Sergeant, Lieutenant and Captain over Homicide.  He is now the Chief of Police in the city where we live.  We have a wonderful marriage.

            It’s the second time around for both of us.  I am a nurse.  I had been single for five years when we met, had put myself through college and had been raising my two sons alone.  He had been divorced for about four years, had three little boys who he saw on a regular basis and had quite the reputation as a ladies man.  I was not impressed.

            First of all, I didn’t care much for cops.  That macho swagger, the gun and handcuffs.  No, I was not one of those women who were drawn to the uniform. (More on that later).  I’m kind of rebellious; don’t like people telling me what to do, so a police officer was way off my radar.