Loving a Police Officer and Making the Marriage Work

            My husband is a good looking man without the uniform and you put him in uniform and “Look out!”  He has to beat women off with a stick.  Yes, it makes me angry.  But it’s something we have talked about over and over again.  I understand the phenomena, and I trust my husband.  He talks to me, tells me about the idiot woman who called the police, then answered the door naked.  No, I did not make that up.  It happens all the time.  Trust.  You have to have it and it goes both ways.

            Communication is a must and probably the most important thing.  I think that my being a nurse helps here, though.  We both have the same morbid sense of humor.  Some of our dinner conversations are not for the faint of heart or stomach.  I understand the awful things he sees and deals with every day because so do I.  If he needs to come home and tell me about a horrible crime scene, I can listen to him and empathize.  For some wives, it would be impossible to hear what their husbands go through so they have to bottle it up or only talk about it with other cops. This can lead to feelings of separation.  It is a difficult area for a lot of spouses.

            Another way we cope is to get away completely from the Job.  This one took awhile for my husband to learn to do, but it’s a must.  Since he’s been Chief, it’s even more precious to both of us.  People have no regard for our privacy and feel they have the right to call and complain to him any time of the day or night, weekends, or holidays.  They don’t care.

            If we want to truly get away now, we leave town, don’t take the phones and pray we don’t run into anyone we know.  We have to have this time together, just the two of us, to play.  His job is so stressful now, not as dangerous physically, but if we don’t make the time, our marriage starts to show the strain.  We make the time!!

            We have also cultivated friendships outside of the law enforcement community.  Broadened our horizons, so to speak.  This helps keep our marriage fresh and interesting.  “Cop speak” day after day can get old, real fast.

            Trust, communication, love, similar interests, or my ability to empathize.  I don’t know why, really, we have made it when so many others don’t.  We love each other more now, then we did when we got married; still are each others best friend; and I fall asleep in his arms every night.

            And even though he isn’t on the street anymore, every morning, before he leaves for work, he kisses me goodbye and tells me he loves me because, as a Police Officer, you just never know.

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