Making Friends – It’s All in Your Attitude
by Many people move towns from time to time and are faced with the need of meeting new people and making new friends. There is the choice of sitting at home feeling lonely, waiting for something to happen, or you can get out there and make things happen. Which would you rather choose?
I remember a time when we had moved to a new city and, apart from work colleagues, I didn’t know a soul. I was too busy at the time to go out and meet new people. Instead I felt miserable about the loneliness of being in a new community. However, I got tired of feeling sorry for myself, especially when a show came to town that I really wanted to go and see. I stepped out of my comfort zone and asked a work colleague if she was interested in going to the theatre with me. Not only was she delighted to be asked, she suggested another person who may want to come too. We ended up with a group of eight to ten people who regularly went to concerts, plays, ballet and other shows over the next few years.
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Joining an on-line writing community is a bit like moving to a new town. Initially you feel a little lost, a little isolated. No one appears to be finding and reading your work and you’re not too sure what to do about it. You see other people getting lots of hits and you wonder what you’re doing wrong.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, change your attitude. You’re the new one on the block and unless you make yourself known to others, no-one knows you’ve arrived. If you want people to read your work, you need to market yourself and your writing. There are so many people submitting work to any on-line community that introducing yourself to others, a bit like making social contact in a new town, may seem a huge task. It needn’t be. You just need to make the first move.
Making on-line connections is no different from making connections face to face. You need to be the one to reach out to people, to let them know you’re new and want to make friends. Take an interest in the members of your new on-line community. Read their work and comment on it. Add them to your friends list and send them a message inviting them to read your work. Before you know it, your on-line writing life will be buzzing. Soon you’ll be so busy you’ll wonder what you were worrying about.
So remember, making friends requires a little effort on your behalf, but you’re the only person who can help yourself. Reach out to others whose work interests you in a positive way. Remember, it’s all in your attitude.
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Post Commentnightcharmer
On December 6, 2009 at 2:45 pm
A very earnest piece of article. Like that you use your experience to support. Very true indeed. Am glad to find a new “neighbour” here in Triond. Haha.
Themax
On December 6, 2009 at 3:07 pm
very very well written and so true fact,a caring attitude might helpful
lonewolf13
On December 6, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Thank you for pointing out what I needed to know, for reminding me of what it takes.
Frances Lawrence
On December 6, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Well written, very helpful advice.
Val Mills
On December 7, 2009 at 1:24 am
Thanks all – it has just occurred to me, I’d already written something similar with my children’s story, A New Friend
Christine Ramsay
On December 7, 2009 at 3:09 am
How right you are. If you put yourself out to make friends you will make them. It would be good for new Triond members to have an instruction leaflet to get them started. I know it took me quite a while to find out how things worked on the site. A very helpful read.
Christine
Alistair Briggs
On December 7, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Very well written piece. It is true that when joining a online-community it can be hard but a little effort goes a long way.
thestickman
On December 7, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Approach new people the way a dog does; interested, head high and tail wagging… never fails!