Marriage and Abusive Relationships

What would make someone continue to stay in an abusive relationship?  Many victims of abusive have been treated so bad they have lost their self esteem.  If you view yourself as worthless and feel like you have nothing to offer anyone will continue to stay in abusive relationship.  If you tell yourself you are a lose enough times or hear it enough times eventually you will believe it.  Many times in abusive relationship verbal abuse comes before physical abuse.  After a person has been put down long enough and been called every four letter word in the alphabet they let go of hopes dreams and their self image and just become a prisoner of their own fate.  Many people accept that the abuse is just their life this is the way it has to be they tell themselves and so they become a prisoner.  

Sometime emotionally and physically abused women left home to be with their husband and some have even walked out on their families.  For some the embarrassment of coming back home or hearing their parents say I told you so keeps them trapped.   Many are just plain scared their spouse will kill them or afraid to leave.  Some abusive spouses get control by trying to keep their wife in the house and fully dependent on them.  When a women leans totally on their spouse for food, drink and shelter they put themselves in a position to be controlled.  You should love your husband and take care of them and support them but you need to take care of yourself as well.  Never let go of your dreams once your dreams are gone you are gone and vulnerable to control.  Many victims of abuse have never had a job and are just plain scared to go into the workforce.

If you are a victim of abuse the one thing you need to know is you are special.  If know one has ever told you that you are special I am telling you that you are right now. 

Not only are you special you have a purpose.  I am 100% certain that your purpose is not to be abused.  You deserve better, You deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel safe and secure and you deserve to smile.  If you look in the mirror no matter how many scars you seen on your face you are somebody.  God doesn’t make any junk and so you shouldn’t have to be treated like junk.  You may think your partner may change or you can get him to change but the truth is you are the one that’s changing.  A person that’s been abuses is changing from someone self confident to a person that timid and weak with no backbone.  There are good men out there 

If you feel your life may be threatened contact your domestic violence sexual assault program in your area.  A local Church is also a great place to go for help many times you can vent with mature women in the church and build a support group.  You just need to know that abuse isn’t the answer and you have a better life waiting for you no matter how unlikely it seems you just need to walk away.