Marriage Meltdown

Can a relationship survive a breach of trust like infidelity? Must we separate immediately? Can we have the serious talk before we get into the vulgar attacks? If we think things are not worth it you will decide quickly how do we divide our cash assets? Can we keep a conversation flowing to come to some significant reasons? If there are two people in a relationship that is apparently running, and one person decides they don’t really love the other anymore, then one of them is lying. In other words, in a relationship one person cannot be in a polar opposite position from his/her partner. Someone has to be lying. Someone isn’t stepping up to the plate and telling the real truth about their love and commitment.
Infidelities are going on everywhere. I cannot think of one set of people who I think are wholeheartedly committed to the relationship. It depends on what their nuclear family was like. If you’re from a loud, much populated ethnic family, screaming is just their way of communicating and not meant to be an insult at all. But if this ethnically raised man is with a woman who is an only child of elderly parents then yelling is the ultimately awful response.
At the very least, you must calm all anger and be inwardly as quiet as you can be. This is going to be a real heart to heart. It is so difficult to talk while you’re actively angry. Take a break and set a time to meet up again in a calmer state. Try to avoid sarcasm, no one likes a sarcastic person. It’s the lowest form of humor and not pertinent to this kind of fact-finding mission. Sarcasm is a universal way to crumble an important conversation short. It’s snotty and stupid.

One person can start by telling the other what their expectations are with this relationship, including infidelity. Then the other person does the same. Try to talk softly so that the subject quietly enters the conversation. Both people must believe that the other is participating in good faith.
I don’t know the statistics of men vs. women having extra marital affairs. With a man I think the relationship stands a chance because men, in most situations, will fall into bed with most any interested female. And, it’s true that they probably don’t care at all about her. A woman, on the other hand has probably thought about this other man for a while. Women need that extra element of emotional connection to accept the offering. It’s that sharing of emotions that burns a man in his solar plexus.
Does the couple want to reconcile? Are there rules? Women want to be heard. They want it desperately, but amidst work and chores there is little time to be heard by anyone. To resurrect a marriage in this state has little or no chance at healing. Coming together HAS to be the first and foremost agenda on your table before your work, your appointments – everything. It is too important an issue to nit pick through it while passing on the stairs. If one person does that, just go somewhere else. He or she just isn’t that interested.

If there are children that is another blog.