During my many years of working as a relationship expert and life coach I came across a lot of men who had a wife and wanted a mistress too. Many of them had no chance of getting one, but they could not see that, nor could they see that it was not the solution to their problem. Others actually HAD a mistress and sometimes this was part of why they had a problem. I also spoke to a lot of wives who suspected it or knew it or had been very much hurt by it all, and then there were the wives who were furious about it but really had no right because they had neglected their husbands and did not love them and were simply jealous because he was having more fun than her. Mistresses also came to me wanting advice and direction, after all it is the mistress who gets the short end of the stick.
When a husband persuades a woman to be his mistress he is actually being very selfish (and short sighted).
For him it is great to have two women. He either gets variation with his fun, sex, romance and friendship, or he has one at home for cleaning, cooking and looking after the children and the other one for the sexy stuff. Either way both are being used and manipulated and short changed. The wife would be better off finding a guy who actually loves her and wants her for her, and not because she cleans, the mistress is better off with a single man, for obvious reasons.
Usually the man starts off thinking he is neglected or unloved or not getting enough sex and is simply seeking a way to get more sex or more exciting sex. Of course, if he was bright, he would realise this means he should sort out his marriage or get a divorce. Not start having a double life and telling lies. But really he is just looking for excuses to be selfish and play around. Yes there are some men who are in bad relationships and whose wives treat them terribly. But then the answer is to get a divorce, not to start using someone else and short changing them.
Usually when a man gets a mistress it starts off with him thinking to himself “goody goody Ive got myself a sexy mug” and he wants to enjoy it. Yet the mistress, if she is a typical woman, is thinking to herself “hang on, he could not see me for my birthday or Christmas, now he is going on holiday with his wife again and he never goes on holiday with me” She should also think about how she cannot have children with him or be seen in the open with him or spend whole weekends with him when it suits her, and he is not contributing to the housekeeping. He probably expects her to let him use her place like a lovely second home all free of charge! So he is doing well out of the whole arrangement.