By CarmeL Brulez a top relationship expert.
The man may have started out wanting a bit of fun or kinkier sex or a secret life that makes him feel naughty. He probably never planned to become serious about the girlfriend. IT JUST HAPPENED. However he must have become more bored with his wife as time went on, he also must have found it increasingly difficult to cope with having to wait to see his girlfriend. Perhaps he was having to wait weeks to see her for an hour. He decides that life is too short. Presumably if he has children who are young he stays with wife (and was very wrong to start the second relationship then). But this man is able to leave and he has the guts to leave.
Is he doing the right thing?
How does the wife feel? She ought to be relieved that she has found out what a scum bag he is and realise she is better off without him.
The mistress is thinking it is great to be with him, forgetting that he is a liar and a cheat and may do it again.
The man may now have problems with legal dealings and money and the wife perhaps spreading rumours about hm or pestering him.
The thing the mistress usually forgets is that he has done this for selfish reasons, not to suit her. And just as he changed his mind about his wife he may well change his mind about her one day, even if she is perfect and makes him very happy!
Men who get married and then cheat are usually very immature and have not grown up. They collect women and deal with them as if they were toys, not people with feelings or needs of their own.
So it usually all ends in tears for those who are involved with them and in the end for them too. Yet they rarely realise it is their own fault or take responsibility for their actions.
Perhaps the wife found out about the other woman or the mistress gave him an ultimatum, it is rarely so clear cut that he simply decided he wanted to leave.
It is also likely that the man will regret leaving the wife later. Either because he misses her, because he has lots of problems or simply something like her cooking.
He may regret it later when the excitement of the girlfriend wears off or he finds he cannot see his children much or has problems with money. Whatever he feels now will change, so you cannot rely on him.
The best a girlfriend can do is bend over backwards to please him in the hope he never leaves her. But that is the same as saying that he is a lot more special than her. She should not have to try so hard. She may well regret moving in with him when she realises that instead of dating and having the excitement of going out and sex she is now darning his socks, doing his washing and waiting for him to come in from work. Then wondering if he is telling her the truth or not about why he is late.
For free advice on all of this from an expert – go to askagonyaunt.com If you are married and bored, or married and dating, or with a man who cheats, or dating a married man, this will help you.