Measure Your Date’s Ability to Commit

Measure Your Date’s Ability to Commit

So how do you know this new person in your life is really going to make you happy? Picking and staying with the wrong partner is the single biggest mistake psychologists see people make. It’s the most common reason why people can’t find the love and fulfilment they’re looking for.

Another common complaint is not being able to understand why their partner won’t make the kind of commitment they want. Here are some ways to limit your chances of meeting the wrong person and judging how far they are willing to commit to a long term relationship.

Firstly never date married or attached – no matter what they say, they are liars by default and you will never be able to trust them entirely. Is that what you want?

Men and women deal with commitment differently. Note for women – most men need pause between that period at the beginning of a relationship where you are both infatuated, and then moving on to deeper attachment.

When a man feels himself falling in love, he will sometimes get overwhelmed by fear and pull back for a while. It doesn’t mean he isn’t coming back, just that he needs to ponder the situation.

Most men will always retreat to their caves for a while when they feel under pressure and need time to sort out their feelings. They don’t spend hours analysing with friends like women do. Give him space and reassurance here or with continued pressure nine times out of ten he will definitely run.

Ask them where and when they like to go out and listen to whether they use ‘we’ or “I” more often – someone using we (meaning them and their friends) more than I is pretty well entrenched in their friendship group and is more likely to put them before a relationship. At the same time, if your partner is using “we” when talking to others about your relationship, it’s a good sign!

Check out their relationship history and whether they have ever committed to someone before.

Listen to their experiences with and treatment of family members and close friends and the values they associate with them – how they treat them and feel about them is a good indicator of how you will fare.