Mending a Broken Relationship

When a friend or family member hurts or betrays you, does it automatically mean an end to the relationship? Not necessarily.  While it might be impossible not to feel hurt or anger, it is possible to mend relationships—even ones that appear beyond hope.  Here are some suggestions: 

1.  Be realistic about your expectations.  Depending on your situation, you may not be able to completely restore the relationship to its former closeness.  Instead, learn to respect and support each other in different ways. In this atmosphere, a new relationship can begin. 

One goal of reconciliation is peace.  Quit fighting and blaming each other. 

2.  Take the initiative.  If you wait for the other person to come to you, it might take forever.  Even if you haven’t done anything wrong, make the first move.  For example, say something like this: “Something’s happened to our friendship.  Maybe we could try talking about it.”  If the direct approach is threatening, send a card or letter.  

Remember, your goal is to make peace, not to cause more hurt or to point a blaming finger. 

3.  Give yourself some time.  True mending may not happen overnight.  Sometimes reconciliation might take months or years. 

What if reconciliation never happens?  What if the other person refuses to accept your efforts?  No matter how you are received, remember that you are not totally in control.  Things happen for a reason, most of the time beyond our comprehension. What matters is your sincerity for making up.  Keep showing a willingness to forgive and be reconciled – even if you have to do it from a distance. 

Reconciliation is a way of life when you realize the true meaning of forgiveness and restoration which God himself showed as an example.  Try to restore your relationship between you and Him.  With God’s help, you can give this gift of reconciliation to others.