Misgivings About Internet Dating? Take The Plunge

You never imagined that you would go online to find romance, but here you are, thinking about diving into the dating cyberpool in the hopes of finding your “soul mate.”  For many people, adults of all ages, internet dating has become the venue of choice; it’s less expensive and more secure than bar-hopping, it allows you to screen prospective suitors, and it is more proactive than the whimsical workings of serendipity.  Speed dating, available in many major cities, offers face-to-face contact while preserving your control, but the sample is much smaller than you’ll find online, and it can get pricey if you do it frequently.

On the other hand, internet dating can expose you to written abuse or neglect, disappointment, and non-productive expenditure of time.  But if you really want to find that special friend, companion, partner, lover, you have a better chance if you swim around in a large pool than you will by waiting passively on shore in your familiar and limited surroundings.

Some may argue that love comes when you least expect it, that it can’t be forced.  True enough, but internet dating vastly increases your exposure and thus improves the odds that serendipity will work in your favor; and although the chances of finding your “soul mate” may still be slim, you will at least meet some interesting people while you search.

People try internet dating for different reasons, but what gets lost in the smorgasbord of motivations is the underlying truth that everyone wants to love and be loved.  Even those who are seeking (transparently or not) sexual gratification without emotional commitment are at least vaguely aware that something is missing from their lives.  There is truth to the cliché that “you can’t love another unless you love yourself.”  If you’re generally unhappy with your life, work on yourself before you seek a compatible partner; “misery loves company,” but, in this case, two negatives do not make a positive.  Therapy is a better strategy than dating if you need someone else to validate your self-worth.  However, if the only thing missing from a satisfying existence is a loving relationship, then present your positive persona online: “build it and they will come.”

Once you’ve decided to go ahead and present a profile, you should craft one that will reflect what you wish to convey.  Think in terms of what you want to communicate to someone whom you have selected.  Remember that you have a dual role in the dating cyberpool: you are both bait and fish.  You can be both appealing and choosy.  (One popular and free dating site – plentyoffish.com – uses the cyberpool metaphor to highlight the abundance of choices.)