Moving on

Being a Survivor of childhood abuse and marital abuse I want to tell my story in hopes it might help someone else be able to move on. I don’t understand why but back in the 60’s and 70’s children of abuse just didn’t speak out about it. In my case where we lived abusing your wife and children was a family matter.

No one to turn to and no one to help you. So you either had to be strong enough to survive or you ended Killing yourself. In my case I prayed every day to let it all end. But my concern for my sister kept me fighting to be strong. Because I knew as long as he was hurting me, He would leave me sister alone.And to He had me so scared and convinced that if I told anyone he would Kill me sister then me. Did I think he really would? Yes; he made very sure I was convinced. By using my pets to show me what he would do.

He abused me from the time I was as young as 3 or 4, Till I was 13. A life of pure hell it was. Dealing with Mental, fiscal, and sexual abuse. You go to bed scared and wake up wishing you hadn’t on one hand. And glad your there for your sister on the other hand. You ask yourself, how much longer can you live through this.Wondering every day will any one step up and help you. Praying with every fiber in you that god will save you from this. Then you pick yourself up from the Bleed filled Water.And do your best to dry off and get dressed.

You wait for your step mother to put a stop to all this. Only to realize she is to busy thinking up something else for him to beat you over. As she sits there looking at you with this evil smile on her face.Then something happens one day. And finally a door opens. Your not sure what is about to happen so you hold you breath. Scared to death because your sister is in trouble this time. So you stand there trying not to move and yet your legs are shacking so bad u can’t help it.

The room is filled with adults. And there you and your sister are standing before all of them. Then your Father says; to your sister. Did you write these ? There in his hands he is holding a brown envelope. She takes it and looks inside and says Yes. Then he looks at me and says is any of this true? I ask is what true. What is in these letters he asked. I had no idea what was in those letters I never read them. So he turns back to my sister. And asked her, Why did you write these?