Mrs. to Mrs. Coffee Time: Marriage Experts
by M’mm…my coffee is good this morning. Do you have yours yet? If you need some extra time, I’ll wait because I have something to say.
Girl, who do you go to when you just want to vent, or possibly get some advice about your marriage? I used to talk to family, but I’ve learned that that’s not a good idea. Let’s look at some reasons why it’s not safe to talk to family about your marriage:
1. The Past. Your family will always use your past against you while they try to advise you on your present situation, or your future. Family usually knows where you came from, what you did before (in the past), and they’re not about to let you forget. And to your family, you couldn’t possibly be any different now than you were ten years ago (even if you are, they’re not going to acknowledge it). If they believe you screwed up your last marriage, trust and believe, they’re just waiting for you to screw up your current marriage. Anything that goes wrong in your marriage has to be your fault.
2. Marriage Experts. Most of the time families are full of marriage experts, and these experts include a list of the following:
a.) People who ran their spouses off.
b.) People who are on their second, or third marriage (and the current marriage constantly looks like it’s teeter-tottering).
c.) People who are experiencing similar issues in their marriages, but refuse to see that they’re not handling their problems any different than you. However, these people always find ways to justify what they do (because their spouse is more difficult to deal with than yours, as if they’ve ever lived with your spouse).
Note: These marriage experts seem to know a lot, but all of their knowledge doesn’t seem to work in their own households. Are they not practicing what they’re preaching?
3. Family Tradition. Although it’s not true about every family, many families have a gossip tradition. There is usually one member in the family waiting for a piece of information, and once he or she has it, it spreads through the family tree like a wild fire. Family members that you haven’t seen in ages, or even family members you’ve never met will know all about your business.
Suggestion: Find a stranger, a dog, or a rock to talk to, but try to keep your marital problems away from family members.
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