Navigating the Turbulent Waters of Internet Dating

You won’t always be able to spot the online charlatans.  People lie about themselves and about what they want for different reasons.  Perhaps their self-confidence is so low that they can’t imagine anyone liking them as they are, so they embellish or distort their profiles.  Or they may be seeking one experience (a sexual rendez-vous) while professing a desire for another (a long-term relationship).  In either case, the result is unproductive; sooner or later, the truth is revealed.  Any chance at a lasting connection is lost, and someone may be hurt in the process. 

The possibility of encountering a predator suggests a final recommendation: don’t try to develop a relationship exclusively online.  No amount of emailing or even phone calls can give you as much information about someone as five minutes in her or his company in a safe public place.  The common word is “chemistry,” and it really does matter.  Of course you may be seeking only an email buddy, but if you ever meet, expect some surprises.  So before you widen your search geographically, exhaust local possibilities.  And if you do hook up with someone far away, try to arrange a visit soon so you don’t create long-distance fantasies which will not survive face-to-face contact.  If your income doesn’t permit travel, stay close to home for romance; and if you have no intention of ever moving, be up front about that.

We’re all looking for love, even if we don’t know it.  The odds may not be in favor of finding it online, but you can increase them with a well-crafted profile and substantive correspondence.  At the very least, you might meet some interesting people and develop some valuable friendships.