Nice Guys: What They Really are

What is a Nice Guy?

In light of my previous article, Five Tips for Nice Guys, I have decided to go more in depth about just what a “nice guy” is.  There are a number of differing opinions on this topic.  Some say the nice guy is one type in a binary of masculine personalities.  Others say that it is a personality trait.

Truthfully, the term “nice guy” refers more to a way of life.  The Nice Guy Lifestyle is not all that different from any other: many different types of people live it, it consists of ups as well as downs, and no one chooses to live it.

Where the Experts Agree

To simplify the idea of “niceness” I’ve compiled a list of traits which all nice guys seem to share.  This is by no means exhaustive, but it consists of the basic characteristics which people attribute to Nice Guys.

Nice Guys Live to Serve Women

Nice Guys spend much of their lives trying to impress, befriend, court, and care for women.  More often than not, there intention is to secure a date or long-term relationship with the women; however, this is not exclusively the case.  Nice Guys are so “good” at being nice because most do not discriminate and will be kind to women in which they may only be moderately interested (or not at all interested).  It may be that Nice Guys are naturally nice to everyone, or that they become nice to everyone because they are so conditioned by the way they treat the women they are interested in.  Regardless to the answer to this “chicken or egg” conundrum, Nice Guys are generally known for their gentlemanly behavior.

Nice Guys are Non-Confrontational

Nice Guys tend to avoid “sticky” situations.  This does not necessarily mean they are always passive, in fact some nice guys can be fairly aggressive; however, Nice Guys are much more than likely to be the one to mediate an argument than start one.

Nice Guys Have Extreme Difficulty Dating

Here is the indisputable thread which links all Nice Guys together.  Nice Guys seem to be in a perpetual state of bachelorhood.  Though they expend much of their effort attempting to build relationships with women, they are unable to enter the dating scene.  This is the topic with which experts struggle the most to understand.  No one is quite sure why it happens, but it is an inseparable part of the Nice Guy’s lifestyle.

Nice Guys are Friends

From a female perspective, the Nice Guy is either completely invisible to her or she considers him a friend.  This is the area which probably causes Nice Guys the most frustration as they are often met with the line “Let’s just be friends” or some variation when asking a girl for a date.

Misconceptions

There are also a number of misconceptions about what makes a guy a “nice guy.”  For some of these misconceptions, see the article Six Rumors About Nice Guys as it may be just as effective in defining the term.