Of Love & of Marriage

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She was middle-aged woman, not much of jewels on her …so I should say she was a middle class middle-aged woman. She came running towards this man sitting next to me and started yelling (this time I didn’t have to over hear, I could just hear even if I had closed my ears) at him in Kannada(a regional language in India of my near by state )…. but there was no point hearing since I didn’t understand the language but of course I could understand from the actions and reactions. Apparently this couple had some fight at home and this uncle was so fed up that he has run away from home. She pleaded him to come back, but he was determined .A train arrived and she begged him not to go. He posed as if he was not leaving but then once the train started he got into the running train .She followed and jumped in behind him. I was in the edge of my seat, and so was the whole station, watching their show. So when we thought it was the end of the row, the guy came running and jumped out from the next coach and the lady…. She was not going to give up that easily…the train speed ed up …nevertheless she made a fast landing on the ground…followed him behind. There were a lot of oohs and aaaws as they performed.

We were turning our heads as though a tennis match was live before our eyes as they ran from one corner of the station to another. Our man didn’t even want to look at his long wedded wife, he was full of hate for her and the lady was no better …she was not worried of loosing her loving husband but only about her food and shelter and her image before her society. After a while the family drama came to an end and this guy shouted and stormed out of the station and I came to know from the Kannada speaking mass that he was heading to the bus station and his wife…. of course. …Followed him…. so there were going to continue their performance but the dais now is the bus station…

This second drama disturbed me a lot…there was not a bit of love between these people …what happened to the sanctity of marriage…when you live with a person for so many years together, let alone love, wouldn’t there be a bit of tolerance and patience? How can people who were once so much in love that they couldn’t send their darlings to the station for a few minutes that they come running behind calling them on mobile and giving them pleasant surprises, suddenly get to hate each other so much.

Is marriage the end of love?

Not exactly it is just a matter of understanding and tolerance.

When we fall in love, often it is just the appearance ….you meet the person may be for 2 hours a day and of course both of you are in the best of your behavior. …Always trying to attract and amuse the other person…. for each of you know deep inside that the other has still a chance to choose someone better….

In marriage we take our spouse for granted, we expect too much of them. We build dream fantasies over the relationship when we are lovers and the roof crashes when the harsh realities hit down after marriage.

Once we build this roof on understanding and love and not on fantasies and appearances many of us could avoid surprises after marriage. Once we see the heart more than the thickness of the valet and the inner real self more than the beauty of the physique we could perhaps live as if everyday is your first date…all new, adventurous and romantic.

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/rozzie/274804266/

As I learnt this simple theory and the most important theory of life my train approached the station, I am not going to miss it this time!