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Older Men Dating Younger Women: Is It Wrong?

Older men dating younger women is a common occurrence in today’s society. From an evolutionary standpoint, older men/younger women relationships make perfect sense.

Is it wrong to date or be in a relationship with a person who is much younger than you are? As I inch closer and closer to middle age – I’m now thirty-three – I found myself being more and more attracted to younger women. But that wasn’t always the case. I can remember being in my late teens and early twenties being extremely attracted to women in their early-to-mid 30’s. There was something about the way they carried themselves – more self-assured, confident, and mature – that I found highly attractive. And if they were in good physical shape and made an effort to maintain their appearance, all the better. However, something has changed with me along the way. Now I’m the one who is in my thirties, and my attractions seem to be directed at younger women exclusively.

And I know this is nothing new in the world of men/women relations. Guys, being the visually-directed and impulsive creatures that we are, tend to favor women who are the most pleasing to us physically. In addition, there is that innate, hard-wired urge that guys have to be attracted to women who are very fertile and likely to produce – or at least have the capability to – abundant offspring. It’s the man’s job to pass on his DNA to as many offspring as possible – at least from an evolutionary/Darwinian perspective – and young, attractive women are the best vehicle in which to accomplish that end! Men of all ages are wired to find young, fertile women highly attractive and prized; there’s nothing that can be done to alter that. So, as a result, I know that my urges and desires for younger women have a solid evolutionary basis. And even though I don’t plan on having a large brood of children, my evolutionary urge to procreate with young women is strong and healthy!

But society, of course, has to step in and complicate things. If two people of roughly the same age are dating and/or in a relationship, there’s no harm there; nobody takes notice in terms of anything untoward going on. But as the age difference starts to get bigger, many people start to cry foul. The older man is usually assumed to be rich – or at least well off – and the younger woman is usually viewed as being a gold digger or just using the man to get something that she can’t usually get from guys her own age. The older man is normally viewed as using his wealth or status or position in society to get what he can’t get from women his own age – a nice body, great sex, and the adulation from his peers for being seen with a young, attractive woman on his arm. And, believe it or not, many of those assumptions are probably correct. And my response to that is this: so what?

We all make agreements and concessions in this world. We as individuals try and get the best possible deals for ourselves in all walks of life. When we have the upper hand and a little bit of leverage, we use it. When we don’t, we can’t! It’s a normal human urge to want to maximize pleasure/joy and to minimize pain/distress. We develop social skills and learn ways of relating to people that facilitate the workings of daily life. We learn how to use people – yes, I said use – in order to get what we want or to increase our chances of success.

A lot of that is just basic human nature – the desire to survive, the desire for success, and the desire for happiness. These types of things are prevalent in almost all walks of life whether we like to admit it or not. So, if an older man with money or status wants happiness in the form of a young, attractive girl, what’s wrong with pursuing that? And if a young, attractive girl wants to be with an older, financially-stable or accomplished man to further her happiness, is she wrong for pursuing that? Would be it wrong for those two people to enter into a mutually-satisfying and beneficial arrangement?

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  1. christina

    On April 1, 2008 at 7:28 am


    It can be destructive. my partner had an ‘alpha male’ job which attracted opportunistic younger women. He betrayed his first wife again and again. He was retired when I met him, but he could not really love anyone. It was sex that tuned him in. Once he could not do that fully anymore, I was treated like a housekeeper. I have no companion, no affection, and yet I would love to be in an affectionate relationship. I am very lonely. YES I have tried talking. He does not want to know. I am 17 years younger than him. He gives me nothing, and I never got together with him for money – he had to give that to his wife when he divorced her! Long before I came on the scene by the way. Also, older men with younger women looks seedy. Everyone knows what is going on. But when men lose their sexual prowess that’s it. I still want sex but all I get is a quick five minute fumble. Very frustrating!

  2. distanced

    On April 15, 2008 at 5:23 pm


    I was married for 18 yrs old to someone 23 years older. In the beginning it did not matter, with time it did. We were not in synch with our life cycles. I was building toward a career when he was winding down. Now I am in my early 50’s and my boyfriend who is a couple of years older has an ongoing daily telephone conversation with a 19yr old woman, the daughter of a former lover. When this 19 yr old was 16 yr old he sexualized her by making a comment about her “double DD’s, why did they not make girls like that when I was her age.” When she was 16 and visiting his own daughter over the summer she became sick and crawled into bed with him….he said nothing happened he is not a pervert…she is like a daughter to me. The following summer she came again to visit when he and I were a couple and she babytalked with him and he did the same. She was also very provocative with the way she dressed and approached him. It made me sick…Men who are 54 out there is this normal??? Is it normal for a 53 year old man to just be friends with a 19 year old whom “I have known her since she was a kid, she is just a kid to me”. I have severed the relationship because I feel that he is too emotionally involved with another woman foremost and secondly I am sickened by the 35 yr. age difference. As I got older, I realized that my 23 yr age difference with my ex was unhealthy and not normal and I had been arm candy, we had only our children in common. What do you men out there think of my ex boyfriend? Whenever she needs money he sends it to her and he does the same with her mother. I want feedback from you please.

  3. Eri

    On May 7, 2008 at 1:11 am


    I think that socially, a huge age gap should not be important, however, women should not consider dating or marrying anyone of a significantly larger age gap until after they reach the age of 23-25. This is because before then, they are at the age where they are constantly changing, their personalities when they are 18 will be different from when they age to the ripe age of 23, and there is an exceedingly low propensity of the girl staying the same, personality-wise.

  4. Eri

    On May 7, 2008 at 1:13 am


    @Shina: You sound bitter…not all men are pigs. There is a select few (and I mean…REALLY SELECT FEW) that still believe in chivalry, and treating their women properly (which is why I’m still friends with all my exes, no, not friends with fringe benefits).

  5. perspective

    On May 21, 2008 at 10:46 am


    “distanced”– I am 44 and have a similar relationship with an ex-girlfriend’s daughter who is now 19. I would NEVER and have NEVER made sexual comments to her. I have always viewed her as my own daughter and was always careful to not let anything get strange or inappropriate. We have even been on trips together. I am currently dating a 22-year old and I have to admit that it concerned me in regards to what my “daughter” might think so I made a point of discussing it with her.

    All of this having been said… I think the comments your ex made were off the charts inappropriate considering the nature of the relationship. Neither do I think that allowing her to sleep in the same bed is acceptable. So… sounds like you did the right thing

  6. Rich

    On May 23, 2008 at 3:19 pm


    You’re worried about creeping towards “middle age” at 33?! Sounds like you’re having a “early life crisis”. You’re still young yourself! If you dated someone 17 years younger than you, the girl would be still in high school! What’s gonna happen when you actually DO reach middle age?

  7. RomeL

    On May 26, 2008 at 1:34 pm


    Well, it would be ok for older to date younger, but be ready to empty your pocket of tons of money and them too leave as its through, because thats how long it will last. Ive seen this over and over one is left with no money and the other goes to seek another partner to start over and take more money. What you do think the young one really loves you noooooo thats a laugh only using you! but like you said you are both using yourselfs, but then maybe everybody already used that young person too much which she is now with a disease, or been through soooo many guys/girls. I say good luck with your money and hope you don’t end up homeless, or not trusting any other person after that.

  8. Lisa

    On May 26, 2008 at 10:28 pm


    Everyone on here is right. When I see that combo (older man, younger girl), im just waiting for the break up! Its hilarious, because that old fart should know that in the first place (saying this as a 26 yr old female who has been hit on by Older men since I was 17! It was creepy then, and still creepy now!).

    Lisa

  9. Trisha

    On May 27, 2008 at 11:05 am


    I think that is okay for a older guy to go out with a younger girl. To me age doesn’t matter as long as he ain’t old enough to be your grandpa or dad. But this is my opinion

  10. Dan

    On May 27, 2008 at 12:05 pm


    You are only 33? and think that dating 20 year olds is rally dating younger women? I’m in my sixties and am attracted to those late 20’s and early 30’s you talk about who divide themselves into air heads or worse and those having poise and assurance and a degree of sucess. These are the cream of the crop, these of child bearing age are the place to leave DNA from the men who have longevity in their genes. Haven’t left any there because the human mind also evolves and I choose to leave that job to the young men who are smart, strong, and able to claim and provide for many years. But the biology wants to impart long life into the gene pool.

  11. Guinevere

    On May 28, 2008 at 12:59 am


    When I was in my 20’s I was into older men. Now that I am in my 40’s these men have turned into SENIOR CITIZENS. Not so sexy anymore!! They act like grumpy inflexible Santa Clauses. Just give me a 30 yr old now!!!

  12. Like em young

    On May 28, 2008 at 1:01 am


    I say even if they get dumped, they had a young one for a while and thats more than most older men can say. And I disagree that they should know that they will get dumped. I am approaching 40 now and have dated several younger (20-up) women who after we stopped dating,(usually at my request) continue to contact me to this day. Yes we still get together for sex and occasional weekends. And F.Y.I I could have any of them back, not because I’m all that, but because I treat them well in every aspect of the relationship. You do need to hang onto them for a while though because of the training that they require, and the way it makes you feel to ruin them sexually for every other young “STUD” out there,(MORE LIKE YOUNG DUD)!!!! TIP FOR YOU YOUNGSTERS, USE MORE THAN YOUR P, AND PRETEND THAT YOU CARE ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND WHAT THEY WANT OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. EVEN THOUGH IT’S A LIE. ONCE THEY ARE HOOKED, YOU WILL BE ON EASY STREET AND EVEN GIVING THEM A 2:00 A.M BOOTY CALL WILL EXCITE THEM.

  13. maria

    On May 28, 2008 at 11:56 am


    i married a man 20 yrs older than me…we ar now divorced…nothing to do with age but due to differences in values and beliefs.

    a genuine and loving relationship can happen not because of age differences but due to shared values & beliefs in my view…if both shared the belief that age is not a barrier to love & intimacy then it is possible.

    our thoughts will always precedes our level of attraction to someone.

  14. Chris

    On May 29, 2008 at 3:44 pm


    Everyone will have their opinions who one should and shouldn’t date. Old, young, gay or interacial… Is it wrong? Absolutely not. There are issues with all relationships. The “out of the box” relationships just have a few more. There are laws to abide bye however. That is a line not to cross. I think the poster is more concerned about what people will think about him. Can he handle the social stigma? There is no stigma except from little lonely nosey busy bodies which you don’t care about anyways. So to the poster, if you want to date a 20, 19, even 18 year old, go for it. Don’t worry about what other people think. Good luck…

  15. Linda Anthony

    On June 4, 2008 at 12:52 am


    There are no right or wrong choices, but simply choices and taking responsibility for the choices we make along with the consequences, good or bad. We can’t change the world and there will always be those who will criticize and judge. Since you are the only one living your life, only you can judge it. You can’t please everyone, so just live your life in the way you want and make those choices that are best for you. Our responsibilities to society and family are some of the choices we ultimately make – those choices help us to learn and grow.

  16. Keri

    On June 10, 2008 at 11:37 pm


    Your only 33, your still a young punk, what age are you looking at? Girls don’t even become women until 22-25, so a 10 year diff? Hmmm…tolerable but I would not want to be the wife, she’ll be lamenting her youth in her forties and stuck with a guy in his fifties. Most people don’t hold up well, maybe she’ll get lucky.

  17. 59405

    On June 13, 2008 at 12:00 am


    I am 49. I was recently in a cafe and a young woman – probably 18 to 20 – was cleaning tables. I was absolutely taken by her beauty, but I had no idea what to say. Literally she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life – slender, dark hair and eyes, a diligent worker, etc. I did not want to embarrass myself or her. As I went up to the counter to get some more coffee she stopped me abruptly and asked curtly: “Can I help you?” I thought about ignoring her, and then just blurted out: “You are one of the most beautiful women I have met in my entire life.” I could see that she was pleased at the compliment, but didn’t know what to say. I added: “I bet you are told that all the time. But it’s true.”
    I don’t think that I did anything inappropriate, and I certainly do not want to be thought of badly. But sometimes the beauty of a woman between 18 and 30 is really just so incredible that, as Alexander the Great said about the Persian beauties he conquered: “They are painful to look at.” This girl was such a beauty. Personally, if she truly loved me and thought we might make it, I would love to be married to her and have five children, raise them all in a nice warm household and give everything I had to the relationship and the marriage. I know that this is a simple fantasy, but it has given my heart back a bit of my desire to live and love. Is there something wrong with any of this?

  18. Star

    On June 16, 2008 at 3:21 am


    I’m a 24 year old women, and I am currently dating a 44 year old man. Yes he is exactly 19 years older then me. I really do care for him we’ve known each other for about 8 months and have been dating for about 1 month. My man makes me smile and makes me really happy, he gets along with my daughter and he loves spending time with us. I have concerns just like any other women that would be in a relationship but i’m wondering how trust worthy an older man can be, any answers?

  19. Audrey

    On June 16, 2008 at 9:29 pm


    I have always dated older men. I don’t necessarily believe all the myths about older men dating younger women and older women dating younger men. Star i agree with you. This may be a little off topic but how many of you ladies are fans of the soap opera “Days Of Our Lives”? I ask this b/c theres a new potential couple on the show who have been catching a lot of flack b/c of their age difference on screen and in reality. You see this new character who is a doctor has fallen in love with this younger woman who is in her early 20’s and he is in his early 40’s. They are labeled as a controversial couple and i just wanted to know if any of you watch the show and may be familiar with them. Their character names on the show are Chelsea and Daniel their real names are Rachel Melvin and Shawn Christian. Check these two out on the show and if you like them join us at their fan website, http://z9.invisionfree.com/Chelsea_and_Daniel. If you aren’t a fan or don’t watch the show thanks for your time, i just thought the article could relate b/c age is just a number once you hit 18 you are legal and able to make your own decisions. I personally don’t see a problem with individuals who want to date older men or older woman or vice versa, i say its whatever makes you happy, at least give it a try and if it works thats great.

  20. 59405

    On June 17, 2008 at 7:50 am


    My biggest concern about younger women is that an awful lot of them seem to think that their beauty and youth are something to sell or bargain. The mother of a 39 year old that I was seeing told her: “He’ll figure it out. If he wants to sleep with you then he’ll have to take you to dinner first.” I, for one, do not like feeling that there is a check list for me to accomplish before I am worthy of her company. I can afford to take her to dinner any time I want, and I enjoy her company a great deal. But older women are a lot gentler on the ego, in that they are more appreciative and less demanding. They also seem to be rather possessive and protective of the relationship once they decide they want / like it. On the other hand, younger women are something I don’t have a lot of experience with.
    Any stories out there about WHY a younger woman would want an older man? Is it always about money?

  21. monica

    On June 17, 2008 at 10:29 pm


    Confused! I am 19years old… I’m now in an relationship with a 54 year old. Not only that I’m having a baby by him. do ya’ll think thats a problem? It has never been about money or anything, if anything he finds hisself asking me for money. I am a daycare center teacher.So what do everyone has to say?”

  22. 59405

    On June 17, 2008 at 11:33 pm


    Why do you like him? Why don’t you prefer men your own age? How much education have you had?

  23. H. Prynn

    On June 19, 2008 at 3:09 pm


    People,

    Why on earth are humans driven to label EVERYTHING under one name? There are bad relationships between couples with big age differences, just as there are bad relationships between couples that are closer to the same age.

    Tell me this: I am dating a handsome, sweet, adorable man who really seems to care. He even does the dishes and vacuums without being asked. I think he’s amazing and he thinks the same of me. We share the same values, we have the same level of passion, the same intellectual level, we share the same want to help each other through life’s obstacle, blah blah BLAH etc.,: But perhaps most importantly, simply being together makes us feel really, really happy. He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t do drugs, he doesn’t beat me into a bloody pulp because I looked at him wrong. He’s already been there for me in the tough times, and I’ve been there for him as well.

    Doesn’t that sound nice? Oh wait! We’re 35-years apart! I’m 24 and he’s 59! Hell is going to open up beneath us for our “social trespass”! Because of “the others might say” I must throw away something that has become a beautiful part of my life! Back to being alone and unloved I guess, left only with the critical unfounded opinions of the people who ulitmately I chose in the end over the man I love!

    COME ON PEOPLE.

    Would you chuck that away if someone told you that despite all of that your relationship was ‘innapropriate’ in THEIR eyes? Whose life are you living? Certainly not your own if you listen to all the judgemental people out there. If you really did that you would have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL over your own individuality at all. Just let people be. Excercising individual freedom is not a threat. I realize some of you on this board would find me disgusting for living with this man. Well hell, if I took a look at your partner maybe I’d be hard pressed to figure out why the heck anyone would want THEM!

    I think what society really needs is a lesson in appreciation. Our lives are FINAL. Our time is slipping away as we speak. Spend it on something better that turning your nose up at someone whose choices in life are different than yours. We’re all human, we are all different, even you.

  24. 49405

    On June 20, 2008 at 8:47 am


    I liked your post, H. Prynn, very much because it sounds that you are sincere in your love for this man. Despite my willingness to have the sort of relationship you describe, I get the impression that younger women are available if, and only if, there is a financial interest at the bottom of all of it. Unfortunately for me, it is VERY easy for me to mistake casual niceness with an actual interest. (An interest in money is not an interest in me.) The result – for me – is looking and feeling like a fool. Your comment states pretty clearly that money is not all there is to the female mind. I think that the two of you are lucky to have each other.

  25. H. Prynn

    On June 20, 2008 at 10:20 pm


    Thank you. I think being sincere is important, in relationships and in shaping your personal viewpoint. Please be objective. Look at life and the things people do during it openly and try to see them as they genuinely are, and not necessarily how you have been told or assume them to be. Give them the same respect you would ask for in your own situation from others. If you take the time to understand, it is not a waste. You will be enriched by it. If you just make a snap judgement and slap a label on something, you learn nothing and do not benefit at all. You can also end up needlessly hurting someone else because of that, and really I think you’re just hurting yourself by choosing to remain ignorant and uncaring. Some things really are as bad as they appear, but please, let those things that are not be seen and appreciated for what they truly are.

  26. Amanda

    On June 21, 2008 at 2:46 am


    H.Prynn, I am 21 years old and am currently with a 37 year old. This is a 16 year age difference. We were dating for 2 years..and finally declared ourselves official last month. He is very timid against committment, but we are moving along. Since two and half years ago, I have been criticized and frowned upon by many people on the community (friends and family). My father thinks I am a disgrace and my friends think it’s just bad news. But, like you, I share the same things with my boyfriend and he shares them with me. And it is great! He spent a week in the hospital, and I surprised myself at how much I cared for him while he was there. I spent day and night there, getting things for him, and wheeling him in wheel chairs, taking care of his house, dog, and grocery shopping. And, with no forced effort, I did these things. I did it from my heart, beacuse I love him. The guy, takes me away…I cant describe it. And it is a damn shame, that most people in society turn their noses up to a strange couple. Interracial dating is accepted. Gay and Lesbian couples are accepted too. But oh my goodness, take a a couple that has a 10-20 year age difference, and you’d think these people gave Satan a call in order to bring me down to the gates of hell!! I’ve made it passed these views from people who don’t matter. Sure, when we go out in public (dinner for example), sometimes we get unsure stares. And I smile at these people, because I am proud that I am different, but mostly, I am proud because I have found happiness, whether it ends in the near future or we die happily in bed together, I love this 37 year old man!!!!!!!! So screw the people who think they are too perfect for rainy days. Life is life, live it how you want. People’s opinions are as good as an extra grain of salt on your saltene cracker. It makes no difference!

  27. Amanda

    On June 21, 2008 at 2:51 am


    And oh yeah, he isn’t made of money. He comes from a middle-class working family, just like me. And with the way things are right now in the economy. He’s just barely getting by. So it’s not a money thing. I am not materialistic. And he is not a super model type guy either. He is stalky/chubby, and has glasses. But, he doesn’t look 37 either. People guess him to be around late 20’s sometimes. He is not my sugar daddy!! I was not raised to use people, only to respect them.

  28. Bob

    On June 21, 2008 at 10:03 pm


    This topic caught my attention because I’m a 50 year old guy and frequently younger women, even as young as 18, seem to be attracted to me. I’ve always been told I look much younger than I am–so I could pass for 40…but still…that’s a big age difference.

    At first I thought it was because I was what my son refers to as a “creeper”. Which I take to mean a creepy old guy who leers at pretty young women with some intensity. However, I’ve made a diligent effort to ensure that I’m not being a “creeper” and yet I still get a lot of signals of interest from younger women.

    How can I tell the difference between a young woman who is looking at me because she thinks I’m a “creeper” or a young woman who is attracted to me?

    I’m asking this more as a sanity check than anything.

  29. sheila

    On June 22, 2008 at 10:01 am


    well, all very interesting. I think that if there is genuine love between couples who have age differences, then there is no reason that a the relationship would not survive. Love for each other and a willingness to sacrifice and compromise as in any relationship would be key for survival. Maybe looking to God as the ultimate provider of our needs and not expecting our spouses to be the answer for everything is the ultimate solution.

  30. daggor

    On June 23, 2008 at 4:04 am


    Why is it when a older woman date and have a relationship with a younger man they are called Cougars and it is accepted but when a older man wants to date and have a relationship with a younger girl they are called perverts and gross? Age is a state of mind of the people involved. Granted there my be hang ups for some people but let people live their own lives with who they want to not what soceity wants.

  31. marie

    On June 23, 2008 at 8:20 pm


    I am female, 54 and look much younger (and cute). I am seeing a guy (now 22). Because of where I live, my family (who know how old I am) has not met him. It’s now 2 years. Although it’s been 2 years I don’t plan on keeping him. We take a break for a few months while I date someone closer to my own age (10 years younger). I also have seen other very young men before him. OK, the problem: he doesn’t know how old I am. He thinks I am his mother’s age (45ish). And I don’t tell, not to anyone including the older men. I feel guilty about not revealing my age but I keep on doing it. I am a well educated professional and don’t want my co-workers or friends of family (one sister knows) to know. His (22 y/o) friends do know. According to him all his friends are dating older women.

    So is there anyone else out there that hides their age?

  32. Shawn

    On June 24, 2008 at 8:37 am


    I am in this very situation…45 and in love with a woman 25!. I am presently attached and cannot leave due to family and finacial commitments. She is beautiful, intellegent and makes me glow with every touch, every word, every action. …..I know society will condem us..even though I look and act early 30’s…friends and relatives will only see what they want to see.
    Sex is not an issue and not the binding glue….but yes I will admit I have awoken some thing in her, we are chemically attracted to each other in this respect…almost addicted actually.

    Any suggestions?….I was thinking after the first few months it would slow..but just the opposite has happened. We are exploring each other in every way possible…making it harder and harder to be apart.

    I’m 800 miles north in another country…

    Any help on this one?

    Thanks

  33. Lindsay

    On June 24, 2008 at 3:00 pm


    I am in the same situation as Shawn as I am the lucky 25 year old woman that he is in love with! I know that people would condemn our being together, but as some of the posts above point out, these are our lives and we should live them to the fullest. Shawn makes me feel like NO ONE else ever has. Our relationship is about how we make each other feel…and absolutely nothing else. We are both educated people with successful, professional careers and we completely realize what we are doing. If Shawn’s situation was different and we could be together, I know that we would be…and I am still holding out hope that we will (sooner or later). Some people may think that relationships like ours are insane, but if the situation were different for him, I could commit to him today. For me, this is not about age or anything else. This is about the fact that I am head over heels in love with this man and I want to share my life with him.
    We see each other at every opportunity possible and as he said, it gets better every single time. We are in love and it shows in everything that we do. I can’t even sit across a table from him at dinner without smiling, laughing and feeling like the luckiest girl in the room…because I am in love…with him!
    As he said above, he has awoken something inside of me that I enjoy and never want to give up. I have never felt as comfortable with anyone as I do with him. He quickly became my best friend and has now become my lover. I trust him completely and talk to him about everything. He motivates me professionally and personally. He gives me a reason to work harder in my career and to be a genuinely good and better person. I believe in my heart that all of these things are what a relationship is about…no matter how old you are or aren’t.

    So, to anyone in our situation, go with your heart…it is the true judge for you…not society!

  34. 59405

    On June 24, 2008 at 11:13 pm


    It sounds to me that Shawn and Lindsay have a nice relationship. I, for one, am surprised that they would anticipate a problem. Just speaking for myself, and looking at it as a 49 year old man, What is the big deal, as long as her interest in him is sincere, and his interest in her is sincere and has a lot of class? I really don’t see this particular age difference – 25 year old woman, 45 year old man – as a problem from any perspective, even socially. My opinion on this changes dramatically if it the whole thing is phony. If this is the case, then at any age, I think that it is ugly and wrong.

  35. Kipling

    On June 25, 2008 at 2:01 pm


    I am a 65 y/o man married to a 25 y/o woman. I believe this works better than a 20 year difference because there is no need to coordinate life styles. She’s free to be with friends, go to clubs and there’s no need or desire on my part, to join her. She has a young child and lives separately. But we have our time together. Its partly family time and partly time when we are alone together and we have a good sex life.

    The idea is that I’ll help her when she’s young. For me, I get a young family to be with and do things with. I’m extremely close to her son.

    This concept is a whole lot better than two people getting old and infirm together.

  36. terry

    On June 26, 2008 at 10:22 am


    i am 45y/o man fallen in love with a 26 y/o women .i was married for 16 years.my x wife treated me so bad that i would feel sick in the guts when she was on the way home.i love this 26y/o so much that i feel so empty inside. when she,s not with me i have never felt this feeing with any one before every thing is so easy with her she feel the same about me. it makes us sick in side when we are apart i never felt like this or love my x wife or any one else for that matter.she sticks by me no matter how hard it gets i my life .so has any had those same feelings with there parter

  37. Tammy

    On June 26, 2008 at 4:46 pm


    I am currently pending a long over due divorce from my (estranged) husband of 8 years. We rushed into the marriage for the wrong reasons and with entirely different expectations. I was confined in misery for the last 4 years, praying that things would improve when they never did. I wished on stars, prayed to God for someone who would reallly love me unconditionally and make me happy. Funny thing is, I was friends with him and never gave “us” a thought since he was 16 years older although I always was attracted to older men.
    He was there for me since we became friends as he was a confidant, adviser and most of all- a friend to me. He gave me the emotional support I had lacked. Eventually, when he knew I was going to file he confesses his feelings for me on a CD of songs he made for me. I always admired him and was flattered! We started our dating slow and continued to strengthen our bond (which was very intense). I learned he was the best friend I had ever had and I can tell him anything with ease- He loves me unconditionally and wholeheartedly. He would do (and has) anything for me and to see me smile. I love him just the same and we are convinced we are soul mates. Age is just a number- it’s the chemistry that matters.

  38. terry

    On June 26, 2008 at 11:51 pm


    well done tammy hope goes well for you true love is so hard to find .i know with me any way that i have eyes for her only when i was married i played around with the women i am with now i dont even look at other women i love her with all my heart .so how old are you now tammy i am 45 girlfriend is 26 what u think am i to old for her .thanks

  39. Steven

    On June 27, 2008 at 12:51 am


    As far as Lindsay and Shawn go… Lindsay, do you have a grasp on what Shawn has stated here – that he is attached and “cannot leave due to family and financial commitments”? Is he implying that he’s in a relationship, outside of yours with him? I have no problem with the fact that there is an age gap between the two of you – but if you have any expectation of any sort of commitment – to quote you:

    “If Shawn’s situation was different and we could be together, I know that we would be…and I am still holding out hope that we will (sooner or later). Some people may think that relationships like ours are insane, but if the situation were different for him, I could commit to him today.”

    That seriously rings of a sense of “if, if, if”. He has said publicly that he cannot leave his current situation. Have you even talked to him, seriously, about the future? Is he ever planning to get out of that relationship, so that he can be freely with you? It’s a bunch of manipulative bull, if you ask me.

    I was in that situation before – unhappy in my marriage, and eager to move on to be with the person who truly loves me. And damned if I let “family and financial commitments” stop me. What does the OTHER party think, by the way? Or do they know???

  40. James

    On June 28, 2008 at 5:53 pm


    I’m 42, but like many family members ahead of myself, I appear much younger. It’s always a topic when I go out, and most think I’m in my late 20’s. I do feel very fortunate. Over the past 5 years I’ve dated women from 18 to 43; however, there are some–including family members–that come down hard on me for even “hanging out” with a 26-year-old. I don’t even see a woman as necessarily being “younger” by that age. I’m not real wealthy, but I do pretty good… I’m a musician… and younger girls do come around a lot, and to be honest the few that I’ve really gotten along with well were just under 21.

  41. Nona

    On July 1, 2008 at 5:53 pm


    I am a 33 y/o woman and I date a 66 y/o man. I am genuily attracted to him and he treats me like no other man has treated me before. It use to bother me about what others thought, but I am happy with him and vice versa, we have a great time together. Yes he is financially stable, but so am I, I am not using him and I love him. Everyone is going to always have their own opinion (negative or positive). So I say, “Do you”, that always works best!

  42. shawna

    On July 2, 2008 at 6:52 pm


    I dont care what anyone thinks! I am 26 and my HUSBAND is 48! Sure we argue at times, like any couple, but we genuinely love eachother….I think as men get older, they calm down a bit, and me still being in my 20s am still a little rowdy….we kinda compliment eachother….we had our little girl who is now 14 months old, and he is a GREAT father…he has 2 kids from a prior marriage, and I think that with age comes wisdom….he is much more involved with our baby, and much more committed to me as a husband than he ever was the first wife. Im not saying he was a bad man, he was just young, and didnt know then what he knows now.

    Personally, my father taught me to find a man that treated me with respect, dignity, and love. I find that the men my own age are more about partying and having a babys mama. That is not what I was about. I was never drawn to men my age, and financial status was not an issue. I married the man that I saw that compassion no one else had for me. I think its all about the person. If it works it works, if it doesnt, it doesnt. age has nothing to do with it. Its about committment, determination, and love. They either have it or they dont.

  43. smort

    On July 8, 2008 at 7:53 am


    There are 3 kinds of females. 1) Females who date guys much younger than them. 2) Females who date guys their own age. 3) Females who date guys much older than them. Two of those unions produce the bulk of society’s marriages, But the one that almost never works, …somehow became the most trendy and “acceptable” in our culture.
    Never ask a woman’s opinion on this subject because they invented a rule in their minds that older women are the only humans on earth allowed sexual freedom to march across age gaps. Its only older men they call “predators” and “dirty old men” for dating 22 year olds. They dont call themselves any such labels nor do they call lesbians who date much younger females nasty labels like “letch” or “dirty”. Older women generally prey specifically on older man younger woman couples with nastyness and therefor have no real crediblity on this issue. When they say “older men are a danger to younger women” thats just a secret code for “young women are dangerous to older women, especially in the competition for successful males.”
    In our society, an older women is called a milf while us guys in our late 20’s early 30’s are bashed for dating a 19 year old girl (”he is 29. thats too old. He’s going to manipulate you”"). So we are boy toys if we date older women but “dangerous” if we fall in love with a 19 year old? The reality is males are demonized based on age at EVERY age. “what? he’s 19 and she’s 16?? get him!! what? he’s 29 and she’s 19? bastard. Why cant he find a girl his age? What? he’s 45 and she’s 25? dirty old man. What? he’s 60 and she’s 40? thats gross.”-says older women of our society who call THEMSELVES hot moms, milfs and fine wine.

    Some males fall for that crap, but me. I see it as a woman invented bully system whereby we are rewarded for dating females older than us but demonized as predators for falling in love with someone younger than us. There are no “milfs” in my world. Just demonizers who had to spend 1000 years bullying males in order to become popular.
    Its easy for older women to be popular when anybody who likes a young attractive women is a “pervert”.

  44. smort

    On July 8, 2008 at 8:04 am


    The idea that males become “dangerous and manipulative” as they age is an old fashioned agist belief that was probably invented back in the 1700’s when blacks were “cattle”, women were “barefoot pregnant” and “there are witches amongst us and witches should be dunked or burned”.
    The idea older males are “dangerous” to young women is so absurd I can wretch, Especially as I approach my 30’s and realize the “dangerous” stereotype will now apply to me because my girlfriends tend to be young because my sisters are young and their friends tend to like me. One of my friends back when was 22… was 23 years old. He was dating a 42 year old woman. Guess what? he has never been seen since because he is wanted for beating her up real bad and now has a warrant out. Probably went back to Puerto Rico for anybody knows. Age and “danger” are unrelated to anybody with an IQ over 120.

  45. Alexis

    On July 8, 2008 at 6:24 pm


    It can go both ways, frankly – success in relationships has nothing to do with gender, or age. I know of several couples (older woman, younger man) who have long-lived, deeply loving relationships – the same with couples in reverse roles (older man, younger woman). There is no “one that almost never works”, as smort stated – they all depend upon the participants.

    I am a woman in her mid 30’s, who is with a 22 year old man. Over two years together, we’re happy, and supportive of one another in ways that are far from financial, or solely sexual. I don’t see him as a handsome trophy object, as some have somehow expected me to. He is a wonderful, loving man – a cherished partner and gentleman, who means the world to me. I would do anything for him, and the feeling is mutual. Seeing other couples as fortunate as we are – regardless of age, gender, or anything else – makes me happy, since I know of what it is to be in love.

    It all goes both ways – and no, there is no set guarantee that an older female/younger male relationship will fail. Same goes for the reverse – it all depends upon who is involved.

  46. doclovelife

    On July 10, 2008 at 12:29 pm


    If your able to love a women no matter how young(legal), go for it, treat her nice, love her and enjoy life, don’t listen to all the “he’s a old Perv” remarks from the self righteous religious mongers, and lesbians who are just bitter at life because nobody is interested in them and see other people happy and just want to ruin it for them.

  47. Ilene

    On July 10, 2008 at 8:57 pm


    I’m a 31 year old woman who believes an adult should stay in an adults place & not be seducing those who have barely left childhood. I think that men who are in their late 20s + that pursue 21 year olds & neighboring ages that have barely childhood are perves, & wouldn’t hesitate to give someone 14,12, or 16 a double or triple take, & if they could get away with it would get involved with them.

  48. 59405

    On July 11, 2008 at 11:27 pm


    I just read Ilene’s comment and I can tell you that at the age of 49 I would be happy to date any attractive woman over 24 years of age, as long as it was a real (i.e. not a financial) interest for both of us. I was in Sam’s Club this morning and met such a woman. She seemed kind, friendly, intelligent and possibly interested in me, at least as a confidant. I was flattered, and I appreciated her smile and attention. I have no desire at all to get with a woman younger than this. But frankly, when you start crossing off every woman who is more than 10% over her ideal weight, the thinner ones seem to stop about the age of 30. There is no reason for this, other than that women and men have a harder time losing weight when they are older, and many, many people simply give up on the fight. Just go to any dating site and try to find a woman over 40 who is actually slim. They are very, very rare. Most of the over-40 female crowd could easily lose 50 to 100 pounds, and look much, much better. But they don’t and very quickly lose whatever interest I might otherwise be willing to give. This does not make me a pervert, any more than wanting to buy a VW makes you an admirer of Hitler.

  49. John

    On July 13, 2008 at 4:46 pm


    Amanda, I wouldn’t be concerned at all about being with a man 16 years your senior. My father was 15 years older than my mother when they married when he was 36 and she was 21. They had the best marraige. You may also find that older men are a bit more caring and nuturing than their younger counterparts. The only downside could occur later in life where your husband will most likely pass may twenty years before you. I wouldn’t trade a life time of happiness because of that possibility, but it is something to consider.

  50. kelly

    On July 16, 2008 at 1:30 pm


    although there is nothing wrong with finding someone of another age brackett older men always seem to boil down to a man feeling attractive to someone that much younger because she actually enjoys what he has to offer in life. perhaps a nice home job security but it rarely has to do with true love. Once the novelty wears off where is the common ground no matter what the finances, lifestyle or sex… friendship is what all relationships must be based on. when there is that much difference in age the everyday interest and the things you rememeber in your formative years are completely different. Memories hold a lot and looks fade quickly. sooner or later you are eventually left with human being , flawed, looks fading and personalities that are not going to change because they have already lived through thier own life changing events and now are set in thier ways. Not impossible but hard. Relationships are plenty hard enough without adding to the everyday occurances of day to day life.

  51. temes

    On July 19, 2008 at 6:33 am


    I know its very painful to lose your mother, and the wound is still fresh, so to speak.
    But are you not being selfish towards your father, who are you to judge and determine what will make him happy.
    Listen to yourself, you dont think about tour father at all, you are worried about the stigma of him having a much younger wife. More than anything else, you are worried about what people are going to say, and not about your father’s happiness.
    What is wrong about his choice,primarily, this is what will make him happy, I wonder what will be your reaction if somebody will choose your husband for you.Of course you want to pick your own choice, so dores your father.
    Age is not important, its their state of mind, its up for them to make it click, and absolutely not up to you.

  52. Serra

    On July 20, 2008 at 2:37 am


    i am 28 yrs old women, very beautiful & attractive as every body keep telling me, with a daughter i met a 46 man (with 3 daughters) 9 months ago i really attracted to him in very strange way, bith of us in agood position, he attracted to me also and asked me to go out with him after a month, i went out with him several times we spent a very nice time, we have sex once but we enjoyed the time on bed, each time i see him i can’t stop looking at him unless he is not very hundsome, and unless i can have any man i will ask for BUT i want him for unknown reason, i don’t mind to make love with him 10 times aday i want him like i didn’t want any body before! so waht do you think

  53. pat

    On July 31, 2008 at 10:22 am


    I hate to break it to all you ladies, but it’s in men’s genes to seek young partners to procreate strong babies. Look around in all of the animal kingdom, it’s everywhere, what makes you think we are different? You give 100 men the choice of a young lady or an old one who do you think 99% will choose? The other 1% is probably not choosing because he’s scared of what people would say(religious and social constraints{straight jackets})! Feminist , gays and religious mongers have an ongoing battle to minimize each day more the heterosexual male freedom and livelihood. So it’s ok to be a fudge packer or a lesbian, nobody says it’s immoral! but lord behold! if a heterosexual male date’s a younger woman! I think you are all just scared of the fact that women loose their sex appeal after their 30’s and men get sexier. I say each live his own life, i don’t bother gays,lesbians and religious mongers why do you bother us?

  54. hun

    On August 21, 2008 at 3:49 am


    Im 21 and recently met a younger guy (17) and dont know wot to do as i am starting to have feelings for him. I know that he is too young for a relationship, and that we are both at very different stages in our lives but have spoken to my mates and some are saying dont even go there for casual stuff, as it will only get complicated. I have just recently (10wks ago) come out of a violent relationship, which somewhat messed with my head and as im only human, I get lonely sometimes, but am not after this young guy just for the sake of having someone. i feel i am ready to let someone new in and him and i get along well, have the same interests, personality, and just enjoy spending time together. it is not about the sex, as we are not having any. im not looking at anyone to tell me what to do, am just after some more opinions.

  55. Jen

    On August 25, 2008 at 9:42 pm


    I am in love with a man 35yrs older then I. He is 55 and I am 20. We have been living together for 5months dating for 4months. I moved in first because he offered me a nice cheaper place to live, and in exchange I helped out on the ranch. I moved while I was dating someone 27yrs old. I couldnt figured out what I was feeling for my new roomate at first, all I knew was I cared about him a great deal. Not long after the relationship I was in ended, and our feelings of one another started to be talked about. He was confused aswell…having never thought or felt things like this for someone so much younger. At first I thought I might be getting myself into trouble- what were his intension. I soon learned they where as pure as mine.I wonder, “Is this some weird fling?” As time passed we grew nothing but closer, we share so much in common, and learn alot from eachother. Now I question if I will ever leave. I know I have always been older in my mind, never really dated anyone my own age. I would be with this man forever. He is so caring, passionate and loving. I have never had someone love me the way he does, and I have never had so much fun with a boyfriend before. We live close to a small town, people havea pretty good idea of what is going on..some I have told myself. I havent told my parents yet, beucase I dont know how. In public I want to hold his hand- act like other couples. But I hold back…and it frustrates me. I want to be able to let go in public..now I dont mean make-out, but not care so much about peoples looks towards us. I dont want to hear about the rumors or the nasty things people say about him dating sucha younger woman. Does getting used to it just take time? Or do I really just need to buck up?
    Thanks.

  56. Svanhild

    On September 7, 2008 at 11:41 am


    Isn’t it strange though that the older man/younger woman coupling is the most legitimate in our society, and yet the birth rates in the Western world are very low and the divorce rates are incredibly high. If you’re citing the evolutionary argument, wanting the female to be young and fertile and all that, then where are your countless babies? The fact is is that older men have the freedom, the financial resources to pick someone who they find sexually more attractive, they don’t care about genes, procreation, common good, all they care about is their own self. Women are not less visual creatures than men. If women were less visual than men, then the whole boy band phenomena would never have existed and most women are attracted to a good looking male, not necessarily rich.
    And who said it’s just the women after 30 who gain weight? Most men after 30 don’t look so hot either anymore. Face it. Their only prerogative is that they have more money and more freedom (don’t have to spend so much time with kids). When I was 19 I dated a man 13 years my senior and I regret that teriibly – he ruined those best years of my youth, taking advantage of me and trying to dominate me. Since I was 26, I’ve only been attracted to younger men or men my age. Men over 35 don’t appeal to me at all.

  57. j ouellette

    On September 9, 2008 at 10:05 pm


    the one comment about women losing their sex appearl after 30 I thing is hog wash. I feel more sexy, attractive and confident now at 45 than I did when I was 35. I believe as some men some women look better as they age I am definately one of them. I am in as good of shape as some 25 year olds that I see at the gym. So it is all relative.

    I have dated older a man 15 years my senior as well as 3 yrs my junior, I have dated same age as well. Myself personally I prefer older men at least 5 – 8 years older I just find them more grounded, focussed and interesting. They have more character and charm they guys my age or younger – so bravo to older men and older women for that fact!

  58. concerned

    On September 12, 2008 at 2:57 am


    Well, here is my tale…I am 35 years young and am getting divorced after 15 years of marriage. I am in love with a beautiful 20 year old and we have been “dating” for the past 5-6 months. We had a spell of about a month or so where she was with someone else and I also found someone else. the thing is, we have made our way back to each other. It’s obvious that I am 15 years older, but is that really a bad thing. As long as 2 people love each other and they know where they stand with each other, where is the harm. My delema comes from her parents. She still lives at home while she is going to college. At first, her parents loved me, but now they keep giving her crap about me. She has made her feelings known to them about me and they still give her a hard time over the age gap. I personally think society has butted their noses in where they don’t belong. Love knows no age (as long as it’s legal). And while she may not be as “wise of the world” as I am, I feel that there times when the love of 2 people can conquer all….age not withstanding. I have been with older, younger and same age women, and all I can say is that it’s LOVE, not age, that should matter.

  59. concerned

    On September 12, 2008 at 3:03 am


    Well, here is my tale…I am 35 years young and am getting divorced after 15 years of marriage. I am in love with a beautiful 20 year old and we have been “dating” for the past 5-6 months. We had a spell of about a month or so where she was with someone else and I also found someone else. the thing is, we have made our way back to each other. It’s obvious that I am 15 years older, but is that really a bad thing. As long as 2 people love each other and they know where they stand with each other, where is the harm. My delema comes from her parents. She still lives at home while she is going to college. At first, her parents loved me, but now they keep giving her crap about me. She has made her feelings known to them about me and they still give her a hard time over the age gap. I personally think society has butted their noses in where they don’t belong. Love knows no age (as long as it’s legal). And while she may not be as “wise of the world” as I am, I feel that there times when the love of 2 people can conquer all….age not withstanding. I have been with older, younger and same age women, and all I can say is that it’s LOVE, not age, that should matter.

  60. reading this

    On September 13, 2008 at 4:43 pm


    concerned. * Don’t expect a long term commitment from a 20 year old women. She’s still in college, and of course, she is going to get hit on by hot men her own age. you should stay a grown up and work on your marriage. But I hope your wife found a younger man who is far hotter than you, with less fat, and more you know what. Your loss, buddy!

    Men who seek younger women are idiots. the women just dumped them eventually for younger men who can last longer in bed. I only date older men, because they are stupid enough to spend lots of money on me, expecting great sex. Ha, ha, fooled them!

  61. Day/Night

    On September 17, 2008 at 1:59 pm


    Well…I’m 20 years and now I’m currently dating someone who’s 41. It never started out for him as an automatic attraction to me because i am young, but eventually he saw the kind of person I am, and now he doesn’t care. It’s just wierd to me because I’m getting my life straight, and he’s good to go, he hs everything he wants and continues to get more. The connection level we he have is something I have always dreamed of with someone and I’m glad it was an older man. I have always been mature for my age, and he sees that also…..hopefully this will turn into something more.

  62. Jen

    On September 18, 2008 at 9:41 pm


    Day/Night,
    How long have you been together? The hardest thing for me is being in public. I want to act like other couples do, and I have good intentions to do so, but chicken out when the time comes. I too have such a intense connection with this man, I would like to scream it from the mountain tops, so it frustrates me when I feel figity in public about him touching my back or something. How do you deal? And same with you Concerned…

  63. Werner

    On September 19, 2008 at 11:01 pm


    I`m 46 and my girlfriend is 18. Everybody shakes his head about this relationship, but we are really in love and we don`t care about people. We will get married soon and i`m sure we will be together forever.
    Bottomline is, if you are really in love and not just attracted by youth then go for it and don`t care what people say. If your (and her) love is strong enough, you guys will be happy.
    Good Luck to you.
    By the way. My dad met his wife when he was 42 and she was 19 and they are married for 18 years now.And i`ve never seen a couple that cares so much for each other and is still so in love.
    It can work if there`s real love.
    W

  64. Jen

    On September 23, 2008 at 11:50 am


    Thanks Werner,
    Its good to just hear other peoples stories of similar situations. I do love the man I am with and I cant ever see myself with anyone else. In public I just need to not care, although I think I am geting better with time.
    Congrates on getting married!
    J

  65. Jade

    On September 26, 2008 at 1:35 am


    I am 22 soon to be 23 dating a 50 y/o man and it has been so amazing thus far. I met him when I was 20 and was dating someone else who was just a year older than myself, but was just not interested in doing things I wanted to do like go biking, hiking etc he was too busy smoking pot, working sleeping or just plain lazy!
    I met my older man around the time all this was going on and he became my ‘activity partner’ we had SO much fun together and age never ever came up in anything we did/do. I ended the other relationship and soonafter began the one I am in now for 2 years. There was alot of sexual frustration on both parts while I was dating my ex, but as soon as we broke up it was so passionate between us more than I could ask for! We have a very active sex life, but it’s not what keeps us together we just like all the same things and enjoy each others company. I see him as my best friend, confidante, and lover.

    Yes, he is financially secure, and he has taken me on trips and has spoiled me beyond anyone I’ve ever met but it’s because he CAN and chooses to do it on his own terms. I do not walk him in a store or carry his credit card and point at things I want. I think once someone says ya he is RICH people automatically think OK I get why you’re with him. and when you rebuttal with well I don’t care about his money, they reply with ‘ would you date someone older that was poor’. I feel like there is no winning with this situation because people have already decided the reasoning of the relationship. He is financially secure because he worked hard his entire life, and this is a quality that I find appealing something that inspires myself to do the same, to be an independent woman who is not dependant on a male for support. I am in my last year of university and am taking the necessary steps in order to position myself to be the best possible person i can be. I see him as a mentor who helps me achieve my goals by motivating me and constantly encouraging me to go after things.

    It is nice to see more girls talk about their relationships as what they are relationships between two people who love each other. The negative association between age gaps will most likely never stop but who cares,if you’re happy, you’re happy .plain and simple!

  66. Rmac

    On September 28, 2008 at 4:16 pm


    I have just recently started to date a 47 yr old man, i am 33.
    I met him on a dating site and i was the one who contacted him first. He was just the kind of guy i was looking for and we clicked straight away. At first he was a bit aphrensive because of the age gap (14 years) but now because we are falling in love, he says that he doesnt give a damn about what folk say about our relationship. He is the most amazing lover ive ever had, he’s a pure gentleman, an amazing father and grandfather, treats me like a princess, and has the finest @ss ive ever seen, lol….and these are qualitys i could never find in a guy my own age, and believe me ive looked.

  67. EricInWisconsin

    On October 3, 2008 at 2:39 pm


    My late wife was 10 years older than me. No one said a word. But when I dated a woman who was 12 years younger than me, you’d have thought I was a pedophile, the way people reacted! We broke up, but not for that reason. Age has never mattered to me and if it’s love, it’s love. Of course, you can always go on letting total strangers dictate your life, but then you’ll always be alone, because you cannot please all the strangers you meet.

    And even if it IS a golddigger/millionaire thing, so what? J. Howard Marshall got what he wanted and so did Anna Nichole. If she gave him sex for money, that was their agreement. There are bigger things to worry about in this world than someone else’s love life.

  68. Liz

    On October 11, 2008 at 4:04 pm


    I honestly don’t understand why so many people feel that an older man dating a younger woman is trouble. Either the woman is regarded as a gold digger and the men is looked as a sugar daddy. Yet that’s not true with many relationships. Yes some relationships are in fact that, yet the ones that are just the love are beautiful. Age is just a number that labels how long one person has been alive and on Earth. Regardless of what people think, age does not define whether one is mature enough or whether one should be dating this person or not. I do believe that a man that is 20 years old and dating a 10 year old is wrong, but I see nothing wrong with an 18 year old girl dating an older man. Since by then the girl has matured and many times has realized that any boy relatively close to her own age hasn’t matured completely and it’s hard to keep the relationship. Yet as a guy becomes older, it’s evident that he also becomes wiser and more mature. I’ve met a man who is older than I am, there is a 24 year old difference between our ages, yet it’s never noticeable. When we first met, I remember how he was so nice and swept me off my feet, yet at the time I was single and didn’t see him as anything except a friend. Yet as time continued, I realized how much I had confided in him, and how often I thought of him more than just a friend. Unbeknownst to me, he also had the same feelings for me, but his began sooner than mine. Many people would look at our relationship and say, “She’s a gold digger.” Yet, in reality, I am in a higher social class than he is, so that’s not what I want from him. What I wanted is what I have now. An unconditional love that never ends. Now, we’ve known each other for three years, and recently begun dating, and now, I have no idea what I would do without him. His friends are very accepting of me, and I’ve never felt so comfortable in a relationship. Thankfully, I also have very supportive friends that are accepting of my relationship. I am very lucky considering both sets of our friends both are happy for us. My boyfriend’s friends treat me like a family, and both of us know what we want in our relationship and what we have is beautiful. Age had never been a factor in our relationship, even in our friendship. I was enamoured by everything he did and everything in our relationship. He never treats me badly or rudely. He always treats me like a princess, yet the thing is, I don’t ask him to buy me everything like a gold digger kind of person may be regarded as. In actually, I love him just being spontaneous, for example, showing up at my work while I’m on break without me asking him. Or just calling me to say that he loves me. That’s what our relationship is about. Our relationship is everything I’ve ever wanted in my life, my relationship with him is the best I’ve ever had. Every morning I wake up, I realize how lucky I am and how much I love this man. And not only that but I also realize that no matter what happens our relationship we will prevail.

  69. Dee

    On October 24, 2008 at 1:52 pm


    I am 19 years old and still financially supported by my parents, but I live a few hours away from them and I’m going to college. I am dating a 32 year old and my parents are freaking out. They called him a pedophile and my dad threatened to financially cut me off (although my boyfriend and I could support myself). He treats me like a princess and I am good to him too, but my family tries to take any action he does and turn it negative, like he has ulterior motives. We have been together almost five months and you would think they would get the hint that he is not just trying to use me. I have met his family, friends, and people he works with. I have a key to his aparmtent, and everything he has told me has turned out to be legit. I don’t know what to do about my parents? My mom is trying to not hassle me because she doesn’t want to lose me, and everyone else is pretty much shunning me (except for the people my age who have met him and see why I am crazy about him). My parents are also trying to do background searches on him and find everything they can on him… it seems a little overboard? Typically I would have just bowed down because I was used to my parents telling me what to do and it wasn’t worth the hassle. But I feel he is worth fighting for…

  70. Dieter Hentz

    On November 11, 2008 at 1:02 pm


    interesting text

  71. Anton

    On November 24, 2008 at 2:09 pm


    There is nothing wrong with older men having relationships with younger women. I am 55 and have had a relationship with a 23 year old woman for just over a year now. It’s the greatest time of my life and she is in full bloom.

  72. J

    On December 11, 2008 at 10:39 pm


    My boyfriend whom I live with is 56 and I am 20 soon to be 21. It is the most fun and positive relationship I have ever been in, we treat eachother with alot of respect, and he just plane old makes me feel good. We have gone on trips including central America, and enjoy many of the same outdoors activities. Age is a number, it holds no weight when in love.

  73. Monalissa

    On December 12, 2008 at 1:02 pm


    Monalissa

    I am in my late 30’s and in love with someone 24 years older than me;however, he never told me that he has a girlfriend!Let me just say that we are not together! I will not be the other-one! I have learn that some man no matter their age will never grow up and will continue to play games. Man and women who act thisway are just waisting their time and will eventually end-up alone becsuse they willnever be available and open to experience true love.
    If anyone goes out with someone just for money,you need to know that you will pay a very expensive price and this action will not take you far because you will always depend on on someo-else for financial reasons. If you are nasty to others,you better be ready to burn in your own fire! Life will make sure you pay for what ever nasty thing you do to others whether you are in your 20’s, 30’s, or 100’s. I believe in true love and know that there is someone out there for me who is younger, older or same age. This someoe is worth my time and loves me for who I am. We just haven’t found each other, that is all!

  74. celinejescha

    On March 4, 2009 at 3:27 am


    this is my opinion..

    for me.. age is a matter of feeling not of years..

  75. Tom

    On March 4, 2009 at 3:35 am


    I have just met the most wonderful girl who is 16 years my junior. I am 37 and she is only 21. I have never been with any girl (and there have been lots) that has made me feel so happy. But I am very concerned that she is too young and I should not see her…… does this make sense. Is our relationship doomed …..

  76. Brittany

    On March 12, 2009 at 6:59 pm


    My name is Brittany, im 19 and dating a man whose 45. To me age doesn’t matteR..when you love someone you love them. I have dated several guys closer to my age and one other guy in his forties also. I have learned that what matters is the person, not what year they were born. There are many critisms that go along with dating someone older, especially someone twenty-six years older then myself. He is my dads age and his kids are my age, It’s quite a strange experience I must say, but I wouldn’t change it or him for the world. I as he feels this relationship is meant to last

  77. Allie

    On March 23, 2009 at 12:26 pm


    Im 19 (20 in 6 months) and my bf is 47.. And honestly, i love him so much! It was very interesting when people started to see us together. But in the beginning, people that i knew or was friends with already knew i had a crush on him. I couldnt help but fall for him. He was all ready there, put together, a warm heart, great smile, friendly and caring. Might I add handsome and in great shape. I already had a thing for older men, but this is why i did! For the guys that are put together, are so unbarable. I put my foot out, and told him I liked older guys. The ones around my age, weren’t satisfying me. They lied, full of stupid surprises. They might have had fun qualities, to an extent. In the end turned out to be not what i was looking for
    .. My bf and i have been together for almost 8months. There are times when I wish that maybe i was older, or he was younger.. So that we can live through our ages together.. But then again, would if we weren’t attracted to eachother if their was a different setting, would if we had never met before. A lot of thoughts similar to this comes across my mind. And I just say forget it! You know why? Because we are here and now together, attracted to one another in and out. And dont care what anyone thinks.. Only a few of our family members know about eachother.
    Im no gold digger gf, and hes no mr big money man.
    My attraction to him had nothing to do with being spoiled just because im young and attractive. He tells me I can be with anyone I want to be with, but why do I choose him?
    Why not?
    I ask the same thing towards him….?
    Ill get the same answer..
    But its tough though, because I want to kids..
    I was just recently tested for hpv and abnormal cells. which means i am proned to cervical cancer..
    I was pregnant with his baby 3 months ago and I had an abortion. Were not ready to bring up a child in a world like this now. Were in a reccission.. We can only financialy stabilize ourselves for now. Were not finished being selfish to one another… but now that i have found out from the doctor, that i need to have a procedure asap biopsy to get it all taken care of… i feel like sometimes maybe god is punishing me, or i am just also being saved cause it was caught early and when the time is right, ill have children.
    I want to get married in a beautiful white gown and church with family and friends (the ones that love you through thick and thin) he prefers infront of a court man and thats it..
    Children, lets get a dog..

    I have to understand he is older and I am still young.
    But he was there for me 110% while i was pregnant, and we were going to have the baby too… but I couldnt i was scared..
    I know deep in my heart as much as i want it all now! =) it has to be built in time.. He supported my decision.

    In time, we will build a beautiful grand foundation..
    I cant wait to get there, but funny cause we are getting there..
    just in time…

  78. B

    On March 31, 2009 at 5:10 am


    I am 38 and dating a woman 16 years my junior. I fought it in the beginning because we worked together. But we became friends first and our relationship grew over time. I must admit there are times that I see the age difference…such as movies, music and things from my childhood that she has no clue about. She often says “honey I was only 3 years old at the time”. Now we laugh about it and I have opened her eyes to many things from my life experiences and she really keeps me plugged into what is going on in more current issues. It is a give and take and I really care about her and we are considering moving in together…in my my home.

    I have met her father and her family knows the age difference and is OK with it. She met my sister this weekend and my sister loved her. She is as old as my youngest nephew which is a bit weird but he lives out of state so its not much of a concern. I can easily pass for late 20’s or early 30’s so when we are together the physical aspect is not so obvious. All I know is I would have never picked this situation…but I am as happy as I have ever been and that is all that really matters in my mind.

  79. 42 yr old male

    On April 20, 2009 at 12:53 pm


    Age is just a number, period. I am a healthy, attractive, virile 42 year old man who could easily pass for someone 10 years younger. I get approached by younger women constantly due to my looks, my personality, and the fact that I work around a lot of younger people. If I choose to date a 25 year old I’m not a creepy old guy for doing it. Face it, a lot of guys my age don’t care enough about their appearance to take the time necessary to keep themselves in shape. I’m not one of them. To anyone who feels like they are being judged for being with someone out of their age bracket, I say live life on YOUR OWN TERMS, and be the judge of what is right for you. Anyone who doesn’t like it can take a hike, they’re most likely jealous anyway.

  80. moneybags

    On May 3, 2009 at 5:37 am


    What’s all the money business? I’m a 30-yr old woman with far more money than I need, and I’ve always dated men 10-20 years older than me, none of whom have been in any particularly notable positions of “power” or whatever. In the cases where all expenses haven’t been split down the middle, I’ve been the one lending or giving them money, paying for the expensive gifts, etc. I just like maturity in men. I don’t like all the uncertainty of being with someone who is still searching for himself. Sometimes that happens with guys in their 30’s or younger, but more often it’s easy to find in older men. Maybe when I’m 40 I’ll end up with someone my own age, that’s fine.

  81. hi

    On May 9, 2009 at 12:04 am


    After reading all these comments i was pursuaded to publish my own story. Im a 16 yr old female. I am told i have the maturity of a 20yr old or so. I have many boys as close mates and admires my own age as they tell me im a fun good looking girl next door. Even though i have many guys my own age to choose from, well that i could possibly like, i don’t. I have a major crush on a 33 yr old man. He has a lot to do with my school as he owns the local bus company. He has been divorced once and is very attractive, in saying this he is fairy chubby. I dont know why i am attracted to him but i really want to be with him. My family would be discusted with me and in a way that makes it sound all the more wonderful. I guess im a naughty girl inside who is looking for an experianced man. So things are turned up the other way. I want to have sex with him. Usually it’s the man after the younger woman. What do you think?

  82. hi

    On May 9, 2009 at 12:04 am


    After reading all these comments i was pursuaded to publish my own story. Im a 16 yr old female. I am told i have the maturity of a 20yr old or so. I have many boys as close mates and admires my own age as they tell me im a fun good looking girl next door. Even though i have many guys my own age to choose from, well that i could possibly like, i don’t. I have a major crush on a 33 yr old man. He has a lot to do with my school as he owns the local bus company. He has been divorced once and is very attractive, in saying this he is fairy chubby. I dont know why i am attracted to him but i really want to be with him. My family would be discusted with me and in a way that makes it sound all the more wonderful. I guess im a naughty girl inside who is looking for an experianced man. So things are turned up the other way. I want to have sex with him. Usually it’s the man after the younger woman. What do you think?

  83. rebecca

    On May 10, 2009 at 4:19 am


    I am 34 and my man is 55. He was my tafe teacher and I was very taken with him and asked him out on my last day of the tafe course. To my surprise and absolute delight he said yes. It was one of the best days of my life when we went out for the first time and i discovered how well a man can treat a women. I have no interest in his status, financial position or what he can do for me, other than give me the juiciest orgasms of my life. We are together purely because we enjoy each others company and the age difference really doesnt matter at all.

  84. Emily

    On May 10, 2009 at 10:33 am


    I am 17 years old, nearly 18 and i am seeing a 37 year old man. He is one of my best friends uncle, he is happily married with two adorable children. I met him 3-4 months ago and he asked for my number and i have been seeing him sincee, infact im seeing him tomorrow!!! It just something we both need at the moment. I give him excitement and he gives me the sexual pleasure i’ve been craving for a very long time. He is so good to me, we talk on the phone and text pratically once a day, unless due to family or wrk or college and our other commitments. We need to lay low you see as we can’t get caught, protect the people around us.We hav phone sex..talk about family like..our likes and interests..the sex is amaazing..he knows how to touch me, where to touch me..im either Wanting him,or Needing him..its such a strong sexual attraction between us but its more then just lustful!!..thing is i dont want him to commit to me cos i can’t let anyone know about it and neither can he..it would ruin him!!!!!!!! He has never pressurised me..and hes always there for me and he is never tempramental..every time i tlk to him he is the sme..never moody nothing..sometimes its too good to b true. we have a mutual understanding and i know if either of us ever feel to walk away frm this naughty situation we will respect one another!..he is SO sexy and the orgasms are out of this world! he gets me wet jus thinking of him!! tell me what y’all think x

  85. leah77

    On May 20, 2009 at 3:58 pm


    I am 22 and my boyfriend is 59. We have a 1 year old baby together and our lives are wonderful. If there wasn’t the age gap, no one would bat an eyelid – he acts like a child so looking after the baby and my boyfriend is hard work, but we are best friends and complete each other – perhaps people shouldnt be so narrow minded!

  86. Nicixx

    On June 1, 2009 at 9:47 am


    I am 18 and have been seeing my guy for 7 months who is 37. it was a rocky start due to his psycho ex girlfiend and keeping it secret from family. but i have told family about a month ago and our relationship is so much stronger.friends have been very supportive as they know both of us very well and we are so suited. parents are not glad about it but have both met him and are very understanding luckily. unfortunately i am leaving in september to go to uni quite a while away from where we live. so i dont know what is going to happen, we are best mates so we will definately keep in touch alot. age gaps are not wrong it depends on the personality of both partners.

  87. mark

    On June 1, 2009 at 9:49 am


    I’m 41 and my lady is 27 we don’t live together or any thing i met her from a add i place in a news paper i stated my age and that i was seeking a lady around my age.
    But a young lady text me asking if i would meet with her.
    After speaking over the phone i told her i was worried about the age gap and told her i have nothing to offer financially but she told me money means nothing so we met in person after talking for a while i was supprised when she kissed me first that was wonderful but i still had doubts if i could make her happy
    and how long till she would tyer of me sexually.
    Well months on we still meet weekly and have the best sex its not just the sex we lay there for hours talking about events that happened to each other through the week while cuddling its a beautiful friend ship and im glad i met her.
    Call me what ever you like but when im with her she makes me feel young and i make her feel safe.

  88. hearts88

    On June 9, 2009 at 2:48 pm


    My man is 56 and I am 21, we have been living together for just over a year now. This relationship has had its tough moments, more so with myself and feeling more open about our relationship with other people. There are times when I want and could stay with this man forever. Then there are times when I feel that I must go on my way. We have so much fun together and we enjoy alot of the same activities, he is caring, gentle, smart, funny, adventurous, understand, forgiving, and he took foreplay to a level I never knew of. . We have been on two major trips, all my family and friends know and all are very supportive. He was married 20 or so yrs ago, no kids. I feel if he was younger I would be with him forever and have a family, but the age gap holds me back. He would start a family with me when I am ready, but that could be 6-7yrs. What will he be like then? I know that the age gap is holding me back and I wish it wouldnt. I know that I will never find a man like this again.

  89. Elly70

    On June 20, 2009 at 8:29 pm


    I have been seeing a man 25 years older than me for several months now. When we talk, I don’t think of him as a particular age. Neither of us was looking for a partner with this age difference but it just happened. We are compatible in so many ways and I have never felt as loved as I do by him. Older men value different things … sure, it has to be good for his ego to be with a much younger woman, but he also shows concern for things – my satisfaction with all areas of the relationship – that most other men never have. The age difference is difficult. I wish society had more of a que sera sera attitude.

  90. Sexydaddy_62

    On June 30, 2009 at 12:55 pm


    Hello Everyone…

    I have read with interest the various messages being posted. I disagree with most, though sad to say, “they” specifically, had bad experiences with their “Older Men”.. My wife and I have a 28 yr age difference. We both are very loving towards each other, and have a great sex life. I’ve been married 4x’s previously and I can tell you, she is the BEST wife I’ve had thus far. She is Filipino, which may mean something, but still, we are enjoying each other and are having fun doing it. NO I do not consider her “Arm Candy or Elbow Jewelry”. Nor do I expect some sort of sex slave and house keeper. She keeps our place in great shape for her own personal pride. So, in my opinion, and those on the net that are married to Filipinos, maybe that does mean something after all, we ALL feel that we made the best decision..

    Not all of us old guys are crips and sex addits..

  91. confusedgurl

    On July 4, 2009 at 4:16 am


    i have married for 8 yrs with my husband who`s 30 yrs older than me. at first i thought i loved him but maybe i married him for financial reason im not sure now i have 3 kids. i want to get out of this marriage i am not happy and i really think i married for all the wrong reasons .. how can i make up for my mistakes.. i dont want to stay married just for the kids i want to be able to take care of myself and my kids but i need to get myself a job first..

  92. Aurielle

    On September 14, 2009 at 5:13 pm


    O my goodness reading some of these comments have really made me realize i was trippin over nothing!!!! I’m an 18 yr old female and i have been talking to a 29 year old and I really enjoy his company!!!! It’s not about money because he is a student studying to be a teacher so come on now the funds won’t ever be the best!!! But i Love his personality he makes me laugh and feel good about myself!!! We have never done anything sexual, but we enjoy eachother!!! I thought it may be weird and wanted to see others thoughts because my family is quite upset saying i could have anyone i want and could keep it a little closer in age. Most the comments here are about gold diggers and men wanting trophey women. What ever happened to Enjoying being around someone. I’ve come to the conclusion age doesn’t matter at all its all about the motives and the emotion.
    Thanks for helping me realize that!!

  93. Draven

    On October 1, 2009 at 6:15 pm


    All very interesting comments and experiences. I have recently started seeing a young lady that is 14 years my junior. She is 22, while I am 36. Though we have a significant gap between us, we are very much on the same page in life. She is a parent of a single child, has been married and is a student working on her degree in business. I am also a parent of two boys, have been married, have a good job and career and am also trying to finish my degree in business. You can say that we are both on the same page in life. Neither one of us have a lot of money and still want to accomplish much in life so it helps us find some common ground to stand on. No doubt our families and friends may frown down on the age difference but that is to be expected. She has dated an older man before with horrible results and I haven’t had much luck with younger woman either, but through our experiences we have both realized some things and learned some very valuable lessons. So with all of that being said, what it all boils down to is compatibility and one’s willingness to make a relationship work. Regardless of age, divorce will continue to plague our society. And the reasons for that can go on and on but my opinion is because of people getting married for all the wrong reasons, trying to build a marriage on a bad foundation and one’s willingness to quit when the going gets tough. Anyhow, that’s my two cents on the matter. Now whether my relationship with this young woman works or not is yet to be determined but for now, we really enjoy each other’s company and have a great time together whether we are just sitting at home watching tv, having dinner, drinks or whatever. Wish me luck! =)

  94. Annabel

    On October 23, 2009 at 1:19 am


    Well, I haven\’t found anyone who has a similar situation, but I\’m going to put it out there. I\’m 40 and dating someone 30 years my senior. We\’re both quiet, normal people who were friends for years before something \”clicked\” and we found that we had something more to offer each other. We share interests, laugh a lot, and love each other deeply. We\’re equals financially and socially, and while we have something unique to offer the other, our relationships doesn\’t lean one way or the other. I have kids who love him, and neither of us is looking to change our \”dating\” status.

    I don\’t know why it works, but it does. We make each other happy. We love each other. We both think that we\’re the best thing that\’s ever happened to the other. The down side? Well, time is not on our side. There will be no 50 year anniversary. So we enjoy every single day together.

    I was hoping to find others in the same situation because I have some questions, but I guess we\’re on our own.

  95. chris

    On November 25, 2009 at 8:39 pm


    Though ur argument relays a logical point of a mutually beneficial relationship, I would argue that the terms of this arrangement are only valid as long as this mutual relationship exists based on the reasons u listed (Money & power, for youth &beauty). You also mentioned the biological argument, but that carries with it little if any validity seeing as one could say; “Due to the set up of global resource distribution humans must compete for survival and then, consequently, murder is justifiable and moral because people must survive and only those capable of keeping resources should survive.” Thats like saying that if you cannot eat society should let you die. Few would agree with this for fear of losing their resources as many did in the recent market collapse. Also this idea of dating younger people is a general logic which cannot be applied to all people and situations. For example. A 70yr old man and a 40 year old woman have a significantly different relationship then lets say a 40 year old man and a 10 year old girl. Both of the partners in those relationships are equally represented in the age gap. The fact is- if you are too afraid to accept it you are urself a little/ dumb man- when a younger woman dates an older man it is because she is sick of being used by younger men and seeks stability (dont think there still is not a young stud for that oh so fun single purpose of “satisfying her needs”). So the relationship is not based on a passion or love or caring, but rather it is based on the biological necessity of survival- which we agreed earlier is unjustifiable. To be frank, most twenty-something are looking for someone to pay their bills, and take them on vacation. That is why u never see beautiful young girls with poor old men. Rather than the act of using people being equally justified because both people are doing it to each other, it is-in reality- totally immoral because it is like two cannibals eating each other…in the end they both die trying to survive.

  96. Karen

    On January 21, 2010 at 4:33 pm


    To 59405. After reading your comment, I thought to myself, it sounds innocent enough and not perverted in any way, however, it sounded as if you don\\\’t \\\”live in the real world\\\”. I know you said it was just a \\\”fantasy\\\”, however, are incredible looks and breathtaking physical beauty really that important in the real world and in true, loving, healthy relationships? If it was just \\\”for sex\\\” and a casual good time, by all means, go for it with a hot young thing, but for the long term, what about all of us \\\”women of a certain age\\\” who are attractive, sexy, confident, smart and fun? What are we, chopped liver because we are over 30? Are we not considered attractive or desirable, and even OMG, beautiful if we are not between the ages of 19 and 30?

    As for the writer of the article, you are only 33, dude!!! Middle age? Are you on LSD or what? Middle age is about 15 to 20 years away for you. And for the record, you are too old to be dating 20 year olds. As a mom of 2 daughters (one 19 and the other 22) who both feel that any guy over 30 is too OLD for them, and they should, Thank God they feel that way ,please try and date women at least 27 or older. A 5 year age difference is not so bad, but when it becomes 10 or more years when the woman is in her early 20s and the guy is approaching his mid 30s, it gets a little sleazy on your part.

  97. Karen

    On January 21, 2010 at 5:40 pm


    To: 59045. Hello, I wonder have you ever been married or in a serious long term relationship with a woman close to your age? you say you are 49 years old and you are attracted to younger women because most of them are THIN. Newsflash!! Obesity and overweight people in the USA is an epidemic for women between the ages of 12 and 40. There are plenty of women under 40 who are overweight as well as older women. I am a New Yorker, not sure where you are from, however, all of my friends, including myself who are in our 40s and 50s do not have a weight problem because we TAKE CARE of ourselves and our bodies by exercising, doing both cardio and strength training, yoga, pilates, walking, etc. and eating as best as we can. I’m not ashamed to say I’m 50 and stand 5′4″ and weigh 130 lbs., and have a very nice, cute, curvy body. I’m not overweight, never have been in my life. I do have curves and have always had them, ie’ a nice round ass and hips, perky breasts (I’m only a B cup, but my man has no problem with it) a small waist and nice, toned legs. I also take good care of my skin, my hair and have been told I look no older than 35. I honestly think I look to be around 40 or in my early 40s, but I know I look well for my age and am aging very gracefully. I’m divorced with 3 older children and have a partner who is 5 years younger than myself. We are truly happy, and have a wonderful realtionship together. Have been together 5 years and the six is hotter now than its ever been. We are both open minded, fun and very passionate and playful with each other. We keep it hot and sexy. We are also best friends and truly enjoy each other’s company. He was married to a woman 11 years his junior and said it was not very good because of her immaturity and neediness, as well as her being jealous and insecure. He said she was not a bad person, but it got to be too much for him to take and he believes her age was an issue when it came to her immaturity. He also said the sex with her was not very exciting and that even tho she was younger than him, it had no impact on the sex being “better” because she was younger. I have know other men in this situation with younger women, and after the novelty wears off, and they realize they have nothing in common, the relationship starts to fall apart.

    It depends on the two people involved and what they both want, but age really is a number and any relationship takes work and effort to stay fresh, hot and fun.

  98. Samantha

    On February 13, 2010 at 11:15 pm


    I am 18 and dating a 38 yr old man. We have been together for about 9 months. And he is absolutly amazing. We are perfect together and I know that Im not old enough to have much experience but Ive never been so attracted to someone. Its definitly not about the money or anything materialistic. I love the way he makes me feel. I help him and he helps me. Is there really something wrong with that?

  99. It's the money honey

    On February 27, 2010 at 11:35 am


    I don’t care if your name is Rod Stewart or Demi Moore, it’s a business arrangement plain and simple. Firm young flesh for dollars. What bothers me is when people dress it up in something it’s not – true love..sigh. Other than the plain creepiness of imagining those wrinkly old hands caressing young bodies.

  100. bill

    On March 5, 2010 at 4:44 pm


    i have a story to add to this i have worked casualy with a woman who is 25 years younger then me im 46 shes 21 we started chatting in person at work briefly and really seemed to have some common ground in life i asked her if she wanted to talk away from work and we swapped numbers and texted and talked a ton . we had an intersting text exchange one night that i completly didnt see coming we met on a few occasions to discuss what we wanted and found out it was each other we wanted .we connect on every level possible
    some small details had to be worked out cause we live a hour and a bit apart but we get together as often as we can and its very difficult to say bye each time we have discussed living together and are making plans now she absaloutly is the most wonderfull woman i have ever met shes funny ,understanding ,compasionate , sexy ,relaxed, smart ,i could go on and on about her i just love everything about her i have no doubt we will be together for a very long time i cant wait to have her here every day with me life is life we deserve to be happy

  101. geepie

    On May 5, 2010 at 8:28 pm


    No one has mentioned the most obvious question: Who do the older women date then? Who are they meant to go out with? I know plenty of attractive women 35 .Women can child-bear into their early 40s, so they should not stop being attractive to men. Even if they are not able to bear children, they can be incredibly sexy.
    I am worried that in this culture men seem to be afraid of equals, like to feel in control etc. So this means that there are many men who are emotionally immature. Wow. So should older women be punished?

  102. Leah

    On May 8, 2010 at 1:37 pm


    Same boat. im 19..dating a 49 year old. we been together for over a year and a half. He isnt rich, he is barley getting by so its not a money thing. I believe we are on the same intellectual level and we just connect. I wasnt looking for an older man to date, i have always dated guys my own age. This just sort of happend and now im in love. But its hard bc you get looks from people and friends and family dont understand.

  103. K

    On May 8, 2010 at 8:41 pm


    I do agree – there is nothing wrong with people dating others of different ages. As long as both parties are 18+, why not?

    I am 20 years old (female) and I’m with someone who is 58. Neither he nor I are rich (I’m in college working toward a career), and neither one of us are “bombshells”. Both of us have medical problems (low libido so not much sex here!) and we also have the same interests. We normally stay in but when we do go out (usually to eat or grocery shop), people stare at us. But those who know us well know that we are wonderful together and have a loving, open relationship.

    I’m aware of the stereotypes and yes, I can think of other people who fit them. But my boyfriend and I do not and we would just like other people to respect our relationship and treat us normally. We are not hurting anyone.

    I just ask that you please don’t judge at firsthand. Get to know the people before you make assumptions, please. At the very least, please don’t gawk or point or make rude comments. I’ve had my fair share of waitresses/strangers who have said rude things to my face.

    But what matters here is that my boyfriend and I are happy. :)

  104. julie

    On June 19, 2010 at 8:35 pm


    How much younger are we talking about here? The gap in life experience is something that will impede any relationship like that. When I was 22 I dated a man 15 years older than me. It was embarrassing for both and he became a wise-father figure without meaning to. It was a situation which was unhealthy for both of us. The relationship imploded after a few months.

    The sex was good though!

  105. mac

    On June 23, 2010 at 4:27 pm


    To: It’s the money honey
    How narrow the mind! It’s crazy to think a young woman like myself could actually LOVE an older man ‘eh??? Well, NEWSFLASH, it’s is in fact possible!! Crazy, I know. I am 28. he is 58. Sometimes you get to know someone and alas… a LOVE is formed. And issues such as age dwindle to non-issues. It is in fact sad to think one day he may precede me in death, but then again, so could I. This is the enigmatic thing about life, you will surely never know. It’s wonderful! You know what else is wonderful? The ability and freedom to make a choice contrary to societies judgements without guilt or shame from people like yourself. OPEN the mind, money honey.

  106. Mary

    On June 27, 2010 at 12:06 am


    I know of this man who is 56 years of age. His name is Phil, and well, there is nothing wrong with younger women dating older men.

    He mentioned to me that he is highly attracted to my figure, and I find that to be a compliment…….but why does it have to be about sex? I am most assuredly NOT that type of woman.

    I am into outdoorsy activities, and like to wear men’s clothing. He says he has a problem with that, and that if we were going to have a relationship, I would have to change. Well, Phil, we are NOT going to have a relationship, because I will NOT wear sissy girlie crap.

    I am into sports, nature, and like to hang out on Southside Mitchell Street in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My favorite bus route is route 54, and it is a scenic route; passes West Milwaukee Park, and goes to 1st and Mitchell.

    Phil will have to accept that I am not his usual woman, who likes girly girl nonsense……………I mean, I find Phil attractive, but I am not the sex type, nor the marrying type. I am an adventurer, who likes to be outdoors.

  107. doug

    On August 22, 2010 at 7:26 am


    I like the fake Love that men feel for a young pretty woman. He just loves her soooo much as long as she stays young and pretty.

  108. Gail

    On August 29, 2010 at 4:57 pm


    Older men dating younger women, is it wrong! Seriously? Yes, it is wrong and perverted. Get a grip if you are thinking this type of business deal is okay. Men of wealth and status who want the trophy wife are shallow and selfish. Women who are willing to have a relationship with a older man, because they enjoy the security, status, and financial reward are just as bad. (there are lots of words that describe women who give sex for money…and the labels are appropriate and deserved in these ‘arrangements’) Some say, fine they deserve each other. However, there is always someone else who suffers because this practice is ‘acceptable’ in our society! I will guarantee you, that sleezy guy is keeping some woman of his own age on a string until some younger ‘toots’ is willing to make a committment. For you younger women who think they are not hurting anyone…well, my bet is you are! I am 51, keep myself in great shape (I can still respectfully wear a bikinni if I wanted to) and the guy I loved with all of my soul left and married a younger woman. She probably didnt know about me, that I had been with him for 9 years! But he’s one of those guys of position and wealth and he opted for the younger version. So too bad so sad for me? Women need to speak up, demand better! Lawsuits for alienation of affection need to become more abundant! You ‘young gals’ get some moral character, and realize yes (even if he didnt tell you) you are responsible for devastating another human being…you may not pay for it in this lifetime, but you will in the afterlife. As for you sleazy older guys, the same is true.

  109. B

    On August 31, 2010 at 12:41 pm


    Its ashame that people cant mind there own business. I am 46, my girfriend is 23. I am not rich, I am divorced and I have a 13 yr old girl.
    This girl takked to me here and there, had a boyfriend who was 30, and started to pursue me. I was shocked because i am average looking. Im 6′3 215, she is 5′ 105. well she ended up breaking up with him and months later came to me, she says older guys treat women with respect and thats attractive to her.
    We are going on 3 years now and its great,
    people should take it case by case and not group everyone into the same pot

  110. Bob

    On September 18, 2010 at 12:44 am


    People age differently. I work with people over 65 on a regular basis. I’ve seen people that are 65 look 80 and 85 that look 70 or younger. I also have also worked with couples married 40 years with a 10 to 25 year age difference.No one was going after money in any of these cases.Being observant of people and curious. I’ve gathered data. When someone looks young I ask about health issues: Meds, supplements and diet. In most cases the young looking ones eat healthy and take anti aging supplements.The oldest looking ones are on prescription drugs, smoke,etc.Take control of the aging process, it is up to you more than you realize. Human life span is 120. We get killed off at 80 with toxic food, meds,fluoride,etc… If we all lived to our real potential, a 20 or 30 year age difference wouldn’t mean that much(ratio gets reduced) a 10 year age difference would be nothing. One of the biggest factors for happiness is Astrology. I never believed in it until I saw it over and over.Bottom line WAKE UP! Don’t frown on age differences, frown on people being aged by toxins etc.and not following the universe and solar systems plan.

  111. blind

    On October 7, 2010 at 2:19 am


    Im am an 18 year old woman. Who had to grow up fast. I practically raised my mother since I was 10. I am far to mature for my own age, and sometimes even surprise myself. I just got out of a long term relationship with a boy only a few months older then me. I couldn’t handle his childish antics anymore. He always said i acted middle aged. Shortly after i broke things off with him i started getting feelings for one of the regulars where i work (i am a waitress working threw school). He is sweet and nice to me, he looked in my eyes and not my chest, and he cared about who i am not what i look like. I really like this man. We listen to the same music and share the same morals. However he is 30 years my sr. But why don’t two great people deserve each other? If love is supposed to be blind how does it see age?

  112. Final verdict

    On October 11, 2010 at 8:27 am


    There is nothing wrong in such relationships as long as both feel comfortable and the love comes from the depth of your heart. …Good luck

  113. BlackCowboyBurt1953

    On October 19, 2010 at 11:00 am


    I’m a 57-year-old black Windsor,Ont.,Can. man who’s said by a lot of the local ladies to resemble an aging rocker dude-still boyishly handsome and EXTREMELY randy,bald,muscular,
    beefy-I’m 5′8”,214 lb.,with 17.5” biceps amongst my measure-
    ments-and one of the lads,in short,an unabashed older stud who’s after hot white,preferably buxom blonde 27-38-year-old babes.(and they seem to believe I can lay it down BUT GOOD!!!)

  114. PRinVA

    On October 21, 2010 at 3:28 pm


    I’ve been married for 19 years, have two children and I’m 50, my wife is 5 years my senior, and although I love her to death, once she hit the menopause wall 4-5 years ago, our sex life is virtually nonexistant.

    I really didn’t care about age when we married, but now I’m not so sure that, as a male, marrying a female that’s older is a great idea. I look back when Diane was 10 years younger, and how our marriage would be great if the 5 year difference was in the other direction. She’s taken hormones and seeked therapy, but is really disinterested in sex, versus crazy stuff I won’t mention here when we met.

  115. HOT

    On November 15, 2010 at 11:15 pm


    I think everyone has there own opionions, I think age is just a #, and if two people are in love and the communication and the great sex is there, then there is no problem. I am 43 yrs old and my boyfriend is 59, I have never in my life had better sex with anyone! Our communication is out of this world, we have everything in common. It has nothing to do with $$$ at all. I get so excited just hearing his voice and talking to him, it also helps that he does not look 59 either. We are so mentally and physically attacted to each other, I will always make sure I please him, and he will never look anywhere else. He found me and that is all he needs, and the feeling is mutual! TRUST,COMMUNICATION and GREAT SEX IS THE KEY!

  116. Richard

    On November 24, 2010 at 2:34 pm


    Reading all of these posts simply varifies what all of us already know. While there certainly is and always will be a social stigma attached to the notion of “older men dating younger ladies”, there are instances when those type of relationship can actually work – even in the long run.

    The important aspect in any of these types of relationships (as in any for that matter) is HONESTY.

    If the “only” reason the older man is looking to date the younger girl (lady) is to get laid by a young chick once in a while, then that is fine, IF the girl understands this and doesn’t mind.

    If the “only” reason the younger girl (lady) is dating the older guy (man) is to be with a Sugar Daddy, then that’s ok, as long as he realizes this.

    If those two aspects are not an issue and the relationship is equally beneficial (trust, honesty, sexual and social as well as intellectual compatability) then WHERE IS THE HARM ?

    The irony is that no one in this western society gets alarmed when a young boy(man) dates and older woman (lady) – the double standard is laughable to me.

    BTW – I am 48 and enjoy dating a 21 year old who motivates me to exercise, experience new things and overall allows me to stay “young” much longer.

    According to her, she loves the way I speak to her (experience, respect), treat her (like a Princess), allow her freedom (not jealous) and teach her (travelling, museums…).

    However, like any relationship, we take it…one day at a time ! :)

  117. older men dating younger women

    On December 20, 2010 at 9:42 pm


    It would only be wrong if it is not consensual. In fact, it’s perfectly naturally as in it’s by design and how we are programmed to function. Call it an animal instinct but it’s reproduction and younger women are healthier and therefore offer higher chance of successful bearing and birth of children.

  118. Guest

    On January 20, 2011 at 1:19 pm


    In our patriarchal American society, older women dating younger guys is frowned upon still because the guy is supposed to be the provider.

    Anyway, older guys can date younger girls just as long as they’re not 7 (for girls below age 25), 10, 20, 30 years apart or more. They need to be within age range. And older girls can date younger guys just as long as they are a year younger or 12 months younger, not two years younger or more.

  119. jo

    On March 9, 2011 at 10:09 am


    i am a 40 yr old woman. I recently had a very brief affair with a 50 yr old man who i work with. It was a moment of madness and i have never been with a married man before. I soon put an end to it. What did bother me was that before m,e he had an affair with a 21 yr old woman. Although, i tried not to be judgemental, it did make me feel sick. At 21, you don\’t know who you are or what you want. You are not emotionally developed. I know this from my own experience from when i was very young woman going out with guys who were a lot older. At the time it did not bother me but in retrospect, i feel anger and i feel as though i was objectified. These older men were in a far better position to make informed decisions. How could they relate to me? It does make me feel ill thinking about it. Older men, especially 50 are not viral. They do not have the stamina, i\’m sorry but it is a fact. A younger woman is full of energy and she should explore her sexuality safely with people nearer her own age. It sounds very moral of me but it comes from my own personal experience. Even now that i am 40, the 50 yr old guy who i recently had an affair with could not keep up with me sexually let alone a 21 yr old! Older men should look within own age group for true fulfilment. If an older man consistantly goes out with much younger women, there is something wrong there, this man probably has intimacy issues. Maybe an older woman could see right through them but a younger woman is naive and inexperienced and won\’t pick up on someone\’s vibes.
    No offense intended with this but it is a subject close to my heart

  120. Amanda

    On May 11, 2011 at 11:09 am


    i am a 17 year old dating a 29 year old man, and we get along so well. we have a good strong relationship and i am not with him for the money, i accually care and love him. I honestly dont see anything wrong with this. he treats me with the up most rerspect, and i give him the same… there has to be something there, (sparks) for it to work.

  121. Annoyed

    On May 17, 2011 at 3:26 am


    The author of this article sounds ignorant and bitter. First off its acceptable for older men to date younger women in global societies. Older women get a bad rap because men see them as unattractive which is funny because most older men got big guts and smell like week old socks.

    Just date and shut up. if people judge you so what, if it’s not wrong then why do you sound so guilty?

  122. MissingHim

    On July 13, 2011 at 12:25 am


    I dated my best friends father who is 59 I am 38. We stayed together for a year. he was amazing, sweet, loving, compationate, the communication was great and the sex was amazing!. However, I didnt hear from him for days at a time, he couldnt handle the compliments, wanted me and didnt want me. When I was at his house he was there 180% hole heartedly, when I was not he was not. Very confusing for me. Exactly a year to the day he decided the age was an issue, out of the blue said it was ok for now but in 10 years then what? Im completely heart broken, confused and torn. A week and a half later he is dating an older woman she is 49, he admits he should never have gotten involved with her but he didnt want to be alone and he nver meant to hurt me. So Not all Older/Younger are in it for money, I truly loved this man for who he was and how he made me feel about myself, I dont think I will ever experience that again.

  123. Conflicted

    On January 5, 2012 at 3:20 am


    i know a 13 year old girl who likes this 24 year old man.. i told her that it was bad but she always said that he loved her back and from the way things r going that guy really does love her becuz they can talk but they can get dirty and right back to laughing. im worried for her becuz if she gets hurt by him then she’ll be devistated but i think what they have is love and if they could wait till she is around 20 then they would fine… do u think that this 11 year difference is ok?

  124. Misty

    On January 12, 2012 at 5:00 pm


    My ex is 35 and dating a girl who just turned 21 he met her when she was 19, we have a daughter who will be 17 shortly. My kids think the girl is ok, they complain that she is lazy and she cant cook. She also tends to stay away alot, she lives with him but as soon as she has a break from school she halls butt to where her parents live which is 2 hrs away. And will stay there for days on end. She has a little girl who is 2 and only keeps the child very minimally any time she can the kid is with her brother or mom. He also has issues as far as sexual so i dont see how this can work. I know he has been irritated lately but he generally vents on me and our 2 kids. I feel like he wont end this because he is 1 afraid to be alone, and 2 he doesnt wanna hear me say i told you so. But i feel that she is not someone i wish to be a long term fixture in my kids lives because she truly acts like a teen and is very immature when it comes to everyday life.

  125. Mark

    On March 22, 2012 at 9:34 am


    Between two consenting adults, love is ageless, why should anyone else judge either of them based on their age and because someone else thinks it’s wrong. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion and I am voicing mine, If it’s not right for you, then you don’t have to do it, doesn’t mean it’s not right for someone else, it has no impact on anyone else whatsoever, good on them, who is anyone really to judge anyone for their life choices.

  126. Polybios

    On April 9, 2012 at 7:12 am


    Nope, nothing wrong with fancying young people. Everyone does, women too. Just don’t expect the attraction to be mutual.

    Don’t be fooled by the few stories on hear proclaiming it’s so great to be with a much older man. Those are the exceptions to the rule.

    Young women generally do not find much older men attractive. It’s biological. It’s better to have someone young and fit, especially if you want kids, someone with a longer life expectancy. Not to mention the physical aspect. An old man with baggage (divorced with children etc. etc.), running the risk of ending up his nurse, the social shame (you’ll be considered to be a bit of a sad case), well, need I really say more?

  127. Starsurfer

    On June 17, 2012 at 7:35 pm


    So many great posts here on a very interesting topic. I’m a 47 year old man, whom is very attracted to younger women 18-30 years of age. Its always been a fantasy to date a young hot sexy girl. I never would have thought in a million years, that this fantasy has the possibility to come to fruition.

    I`ve been talking to a young 18 year old girl, that works at a local convenience store close to home. The way we both get on together, is truly amazing. Upon one of my visits at her store, she looked realy upset. I said to her, if she ever needs someone to talk to, that I would be there for her. She then asked me for my phone number. Since then, we`ve been chatting, texting, and really getting on amazingly.

    I for the 1st time today, asked her out. She very happily accepted, and we are making arrangements to get together very soon. She hasn’t asked me my age yet, but when she does, I’m sure that will put the kibosh on things. She lives with her parents, and I’m sure they would be less then delighted about her dating a 47 year old.

    So I’m truly thinking that this will come to an end, before it even gets started. The social stigma of an older man/younger woman proposition has challenges that may not be possible to overcome.

    I applaud all of the posters on this forum, that have made a go of it, and were successful doing so. To be able to overcome the challenges that this situation presents, takes allot of courage, and of course a great deal of love on both parties to overcome.

  128. Soulbird

    On July 19, 2012 at 7:45 am


    I am 39 yr old woman, with a 27 yr old “cute” guy. He pursued me, and I was definitely not the predator. He jokes, I was always the prey. Due to his extreme “baby face”, I’m sometimes conscious, but looking to be in my late twenties, early thirties helps. I have no kids, and don’t want any, either does he. He’s very intellectual, and smart and tells me repeatedly girls his age are not smart enough or grounded. He definitely seems to be the elder between us. We joke he’s Ann old man trapped in a young guys body, and I’m the reverse too! His father is with a woman 17 years younger and her mother is with a man 12 yrs younger.so no one cares. Best advice she gave me was..”couples of the same age break up all the time”. Only one who had the problem was me, because society judges. Its been 3 yrs, and really I couldn’t be happier. Most people who care, are just jealous people with no lives.because if they had true love, they would know, it knows no color, race, age, or even sex. Judge less, love more. Its the individual not the numbers.

  129. glennblakes

    On January 21, 2013 at 4:04 am


    My name is Glenn Blake, i have been in terrible debt due to the fire incident that burnt my shop. I needed money to re-build my shop and start over again but i was not able to see money. It was very hard for me to secure business loan from bank because i have no collateral. Things where really going worst because my house rent expired during the period and my wife and my kids left me to stay with her parents. I contacted 2 different spell caster which i met online and send them the little money that i have for them to help but they failed to help me. This really got me hungry cos i am left with nothing. I was directed to temple of permanent healing during September by a lady from Hungary. I was afraid to contact him initially because of what i have passed through in the past but i decided to give him a trial. He did a good-luck spell for me and told me that the spell will work after three days. I was very surprise that after three days i was able to secure a loan from a legit Private loan lender at a low percentage interest without any collateral. I must tell the general public that my business is fast growing and all thanks to the priest of temple of permanent healing. He will forever be the best spell caster because he has proven his word to me and i advise anyone who wants to solve any kind of problem to contact him through templeofpermanenthealing@gmail.com

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