Sometimes in the craziness of our lives, we fail to see exactly what our marriage has become. It is so sad to say sometimes, we live in a loveless marriage and don’t realize it. We go through the motions of the day. We go to work, we come home, we eat dinner, the husband discusses everything that is important to him and when you begin to discuss about something that is important to you – the conversation is cut off or he says “Did you say something?”

Recently, I’ve been having some severe health issues. In fact, I’ve gone to the hospital with my daughter. When I called my husband to advise him of my whereabouts, his response “Oh ok as long as >>> is with you. Just call me and let me know how things go. On this particular day, he was physically in the vicinity of the hospital and could have just as easily stopped by to see if I needed anything or just to see if I was okay.

When I arrived at home, the first question that came from his mouth was “Did you buy anything to eat for dinner?” Since I’ve been noticing my husband’s lack of love, attention, consideration or care lately, this question did not come to much surprise to me. He had been home since 1:30 p.m. and I had arrived at almost 9:30 p.m. what he should have done is prepared something for me and my daughter to eat when we arrived. Instead, he waited and assumed I was thinking about what he was going to eat while I was bleeding and in pain in the hospital emergency room.

This is not an isolated incident. There have been many more before this one. Our lives have been one sided and I have just begun to notice that he could care less about how I feel, where I go, what I do or who I’m with as long as all of his needs are met.

For the last month I’ve had some health issues and constantly have been getting up during the evening may 2 or 3 times. Not once during this time has my husband asked me if he could do anything to help. Not once has he asked me during the whole month how I’m feeling. Not sure if he’s in denial but instead of realizing how bad I’ve been feeling, he’s imposed more pressures on me by inviting people to our home almost every weekend to have a barbecue.

I’m not blaming him completely; I have as much fault as he does because I’ve accepted his selfish behavior. So recently, I’ve decided to inform him how I feel when he decides to cut my conversation off when I’m saying something that is important to me or when I’m not comfortable with something that he’s done. Sadly, he hasn’t taken notice and doesn’t even care.

Not sure if this behavior has been here al l our lives or if it’s only because I’m more aware of it because I’ve been home for the last 3 weeks. Nonetheless, it is disturbing that our marriage has become so one sided and I’ve become unimportant in his eyes.

Divorce is not an answer but I do plan to try to turn things around and change this marriage from a one sided to a two sided. Yes we are one when we get married but that doesn’t mean only him and his ideals.