Opposite sex long term friendships can be tricky if you have a jealous boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. I’ve never had a jealous boyfriend or husband in my life but I have seen the results of those that did and it wasn’t pretty. If you have that kind of a situation I suggest pen pals or maybe your friend could try to become friends with your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. But if they do please keep a safe distance from your friends. It should be comfort enough just to know they are there close by.

  Eventually the probability is you will all get married and or go into business of some sort and end up going in different direction over the years. If that happens, keep in touch as pen pals sending pictures and keeping each other updated as to what went on in your lives. I suggest monthly news letters to each other talking about what you did and how you did it, etc.

  Meanwhile enjoy each other’s company every chance you get. Go shoot some pool, catch a movie or a play, go bowling, go horseback riding, etc. have fun enjoying life and the experiences life has to offer. Later on you may not have the opportunity to do it again.

  Those that are able to stay close together will find life and growing up in it festinating and full of wonderful things too. You will be the lucky ones to have your close friends nearby to celebrate with, comfort each other when needed; and be at each others side during hard times. There is nothing like the touch and feel of a good close friend to share your ups and downs with.

  Be careful though, some really close opposite sex friendships become occasional lovers and can cause feelings to get hurt if one or the other actually mistakes it for love. Rarely does actual love develop out of an opposite sex long term friendship. Some times they end up marrying one of your same sex friends but most often it’s someone else you don’t know at all.

  Opposite sex friends doesn’t like having their secretes out about past escapades and shenanigans they’d pulled so don’t be too disappointed or surprised if you’re not introduced to his/her love. Do keep aware though so you don’t become the other man/woman in a situation you hadn’t planned on; and end up loosing your friend because of it. The moment you find out your friend is involved back off and give your friend some space and time.

  There will always be rumors and misunderstandings due to other people’s nosiness into your personal life. There will always be some person that knows what is best for your life even though they aren’t living your life for you; and none of these are your friends. Again that’s when confidence in your self must be strongly in place. Sometimes these people are your very own parents or family members.

  While parents mean well and want what is best for you they are not always right about what you should do. Most of them go by what they know about different things while others are guided by fears of what they think will happen. Wealthier people often buy their way into your life with many strings attached. While they will pay for your college degree you will take classes they want you to take; not necessarily what you want to do in your life, some of them even threaten to cut you out of their wills if you don’t do as they order you to do.

  If your problem is family members of importance like your parents or grandparents seek to find common ground if possible. If they own or run family businesses see if what you want to do could in some way fit in with the family business then present your case. If your problems are from others either take the advice and store it away for future reference or ignore them and go your own way. You won’t be able to make everyone happy so don’t try, just deal with the key people in your life; that’s hard enough to accomplish at times.

   If your best friend’s romantic significant other happens to be the jealous type you may end up loosing your opposite sex best friend anyway. The same thing goes for you too should you become romantically involved with someone else. Men and women can be fickle about expressing their true feelings to ones they care about. That is also how misinformation, misunderstandings and broken hearts come about.

   Opposite sex friendships are a great deal easier when you both have likes in common such as working in the same place, hobbies, gamming, animals or certain types of animals, religious functions, etc.; where you can see each other and it is not loosely discussed by others as something it is not. If you work on the same committee making plans for functions it is a good thing too; then you can meet in various places as friends and accomplish the task at hand as well.

   Never allow yourself to become jealous if your friend spends more time with others sometimes, but if you do; examine the reasons for it closely and honestly. If you are spending too much time together back off and give you some space, time and breathing room to reflect on your friendship. No one likes to feel smothered or dominated by the other in friendship.

   Try to never put your opposite sex friend in awkward positions or situations where rumors will be spread about either or both of you regarding your friendship. You should always keep in mind your reputation as well as that of your opposite sex friend.

   You may even find your opposite sex friend is someone that may have gone out with or had been friends once with one of your family members or same sex friends that didn’t quite match up for what ever reason. With that having been said, keep in mind what they say about him/her but don’t judge him/her by their experience. You are a different person then they are and therefore your attitude and reactions may be quite different then theirs.

   Some people in those cases try to bully you into letting go of that friendship with the opposite sex friend; you must decide how best to handle that. When a woman tried that ploy with me I simply told her he and I were just friends and for her to stay out of my business. If she really cared about me she would be there if I mess up and make a mistake, but she wasn’t my friend to begin with and she never had an interest in the man what so ever; she was angry because the man and her best friend didn’t get along. Again that type of a situation requires you to be confident in yourself otherwise you just might back down to the other woman’s demands; trust me that if you do it won’t stop there.

   So many people loose out on really good relationships because they allow themselves to be bullied, coerced, derailed and directed away from them based on someone else’s experience or point of view. I still remember my first love in high school, we walked together to and from school until his mother took one look at me and told him I was too good for him; or so he told me. They moved and I never saw him again. Would my life have been different if he’d have been allowed to stay? I don’t know; just like I can’t answer that question about another friend of mine who left town with friends of his and was a really good and close friend of mine; he died of cancer or so I’d been told by his parents.

   Reflecting back I wish now I had made the extra effort to stay in touch, back then in high school you just don’t think about how short life truly is and you mistakenly believe you have all the time in the world; and you are invincible and immortal until you reach my age. Then you look back and see all of your mistakes; hopefully this will help keep you from making some of the same ones I made.