Opposite Sex Long Term Friendships

   Never allow yourself to become jealous if your friend spends more time with others sometimes, but if you do; examine the reasons for it closely and honestly. If you are spending too much time together back off and give you some space, time and breathing room to reflect on your friendship. No one likes to feel smothered or dominated by the other in friendship.

   Try to never put your opposite sex friend in awkward positions or situations where rumors will be spread about either or both of you regarding your friendship. You should always keep in mind your reputation as well as that of your opposite sex friend.

   You may even find your opposite sex friend is someone that may have gone out with or had been friends once with one of your family members or same sex friends that didn’t quite match up for what ever reason. With that having been said, keep in mind what they say about him/her but don’t judge him/her by their experience. You are a different person then they are and therefore your attitude and reactions may be quite different then theirs.

   Some people in those cases try to bully you into letting go of that friendship with the opposite sex friend; you must decide how best to handle that. When a woman tried that ploy with me I simply told her he and I were just friends and for her to stay out of my business. If she really cared about me she would be there if I mess up and make a mistake, but she wasn’t my friend to begin with and she never had an interest in the man what so ever; she was angry because the man and her best friend didn’t get along. Again that type of a situation requires you to be confident in yourself otherwise you just might back down to the other woman’s demands; trust me that if you do it won’t stop there.

   So many people loose out on really good relationships because they allow themselves to be bullied, coerced, derailed and directed away from them based on someone else’s experience or point of view. I still remember my first love in high school, we walked together to and from school until his mother took one look at me and told him I was too good for him; or so he told me. They moved and I never saw him again. Would my life have been different if he’d have been allowed to stay? I don’t know; just like I can’t answer that question about another friend of mine who left town with friends of his and was a really good and close friend of mine; he died of cancer or so I’d been told by his parents.

   Reflecting back I wish now I had made the extra effort to stay in touch, back then in high school you just don’t think about how short life truly is and you mistakenly believe you have all the time in the world; and you are invincible and immortal until you reach my age. Then you look back and see all of your mistakes; hopefully this will help keep you from making some of the same ones I made.