You see her across the room, bar, class, resturant, or park. The girl of your dreams. But you have had horrible luck with women. The only ones that show you any attention are ones that you would even warn your drunk buddies off of. Why can’t you seem to attract the kind of woman that YOU want?  I’ll tell you why, and it has nothing to do with “game” or “class” or money, or good looks, or even charm. It has everything in the world with not knowing how to relate, not knowing how to start a conversation without looking like a jerk, and not having the confidence to successfully approach any woman.  Follow these five steps, work on them, practice them, and concentrate on them without looking like you’re trying too hard.  It’s easy, and in no time, you’ll be able to not only approach those beautiful women, you’ll get that second, third, and so on dates you really want.

1. Approaching a beautiful woman isn’t hard. Any schmuck can do it. The difference is, they do it badly, and you’re going to learn how to do it successfully. It’s not about having the perfect pick up line. Women see those coming a mile away, and the only thing that they think about is “great, here comes anothing guy that just wants to sleep with me.”  The very first key to picking up a beautiful woman is putting sex completely out of your mind. Of course you want to sleep with her, but eventually. If you’re looking for that one night stand, just keep going for the women that you don’t want. Putting sex out of your mind makes you into something that women really want first. A friend that they can get to know. I know you don’t want to hear that, but that’s what a woman wants. She wants trust, conversation, and shared fun experiences. What she does not want is to be treated like a piece of meat.
2. Now that you have gotten sex out of your mind for the moment, it’s time to spot a woman that IS approachable.  If she’s around a large group of other women, she’s probably not wanting to be zoned in on. If she’s with a date, don’t try to grab her eye. If she’s with maybe one other women, looking around the bar or club, or sitting alone reading a book, then give it a try. What can it hurt. You have to be used to being turned down. But I’ll tell you this. The ones that are worth getting to know, and picking up, they will be receptive to what you bring with you.
3. The first and only way to physically approach a woman without freaking her out is to have something in common. Otherwise, they don’t really know why you are there, and probably getting scared and ready to pull out the mace.  Look for something that you can talk to her about. Maybe she’s reading a book by an author you like. She could have something you can talk about on her t-shirt, bag, on a jacket.  Anything that you can talk about that doesn’t make you look like a stalker. And if you use your head a little, you’ll come up with something to talk about. If you just jump right into meeting someone with a relationship on your mind, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. Talk about being out at a certain place, like the park you see her in, or the music store.  Be cool. Don’t sweat and stumble over your words. Pretend that you’re talking to a really good friend of yours. You have to be comfortable to be confident.  A woman gets more turned off from a scared, shaking man then she does by a dirty, smelly person.
4. Alright, now you’re talking to her. You brought up a subject that you are somewhat knowledgeable about, and you asked her opinion about it. Now listen to her. Ask leading questions about what she just said. If you ask her if she has always loved Star Wars, like the t-shirt she’s wearing, then ask her who her favorite character is. Ask her about which movie she loves. Listen to her and respond to her. Put the focus ON her, and her opinion. Lead the conversation further. You don’t want to be at a lost of what to say, so keep it interesting. I picked up a woman once by pointing out that I just loved watching people, and I got her laughing by making up stories about people walking by. She confessed to enjoying the same thing, and we sat there for thirty minutes just watching people walking by. I asked for her number and we spent the next seven months together. The point is, don’t be a doof by using some line. Don’t start complementing her. And stay confident and comfortable. Get her laughing, that always works. And please, don’t offend her.
5. Finally, it’s time to close the deal. Once you have her talking about herself, laughing, and staying comfortable in your company, it’s time to finally tell her that you wouldn’t mind talking longer.  The best way to do this is to suggest that you continue exactly what you’re doing at that moment, and the sooner you do it, the better. The same woman I picked up at the mall that day told me she had to get going when her friends came up to her. I suggested that I would like to keep people watching with her, and asked what she was doing that night. It so happened that she wasn’t busy, so I asked if she would like to meet me at a baseball game i had tickets to that night. Yeah, I had a pre-set plan, that wasn’t some boring dinner or a walk.  She agreed, and it was sealed that I would meet her at the gate at the ball game, and not alone somewhere. She felt comfortable, was excited about further conversation, and something stimulating to do.  I didn’t seriously ask her out until we had hung out in public three times.  I took my time, didn’t pressure her, and let her know that she was a great person that would make a great friend, but also that I was feeling something for her. Just remember this….it’s all about her until SHE makes it about you. 

So, follow these steps. Be comfortable talking and responding to a beautiful woman. Just remember, she’s a person just like you. And if she doesn’t have a boyfriend or husband, then she’s looking for one. And you could be it.