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Possessive or Over-possessive?

Changing statuses of relationships.

I had friend with a long distance relationship. She was very demanding and possessive about her guy. With time and space, she grew restless and desirous and expected the same out of him. She expected him to be possessive and act like a prudent guardian but he never budged. He never questioned her and this doubt grew in her mind like and insect. She purposely went out clubbing and partying with guys and girls alike and told him the exaggerated version of the evenings she spent with them just to make him feel jealous. She craved for his attention. She spoke at length about her changing lifestyles and her new friends with a hope that he bursts out, show a little concern, and express how possessive he is about his girl but he listened with all his patience and was excessively understanding for her. May be because he was genuinely tolerant and considerate or may be he had another girl out there and was happy to watch his present girlfriend retreat and dig the grave for herself or may be he was too busy to even acknowledge or set rules for her or may be he just wanted to see her happy. No one knows his side of the story but we could see her growing edgy and distressed day by day. One fine day she broke up on the grounds of ‘he never cared about me’ and ‘I shouldn’t bother about the person who doesn’t bother about me’.

That day he showed his true colors. He was heartbroken and dejected. He felt bad about not being there for her. He believed that if he had stayed close she would have never taken a dense decision like this. He tried to convince her but all she required was him as a person, in front of her. She needed to be with him rather than comprehending everything over the phone. She needed someone who can tell her what is right and what is wrong rather than giving her the independence to explore harsh facts of life by herself. I did not know who was unethical and who was not (may be that’s why 60% of the long distance fail due to misunderstandings and lack of perseverance).

After a couple of months, she got into another relationship, a serious one to begin with. This time the situation was unlike the previous one. She got the guy of her dreams, over-possessive and moonstruck for her. She enjoyed his attention and the way he reacted to her silly actions. She loved the way he felt about her. She enjoyed the frustration on his face when she mentioned her guy friends’ names and how much they meant to her. She was pleased by his envious nature and the way he used to feel protective about her. After the breakup, she was scouring for a company that can boost up her self-esteem and give her some confidence over her insecurities and he was the perfect one. She was basking in the compliments and appreciations he showered over her.  It seemed flattering and they celebrated being together. Initially everyone revels in each other’s company and flip over little actions like the first time she touched me or the first time he kissed me.After the love bug settles in everybody tends to look beyond the dreamland. They concentrate on how to spend the rest of the life in peace and without many confrontations. It was the same for her. Initially she painted the town in red with love charging her every moment but later she found herself justifying her whereabouts, explaining little mistakes (which weren’t mistakes really!), and giving account of every second of the day. She liked to be pampered directly or indirectly but she never expected that the love of her life would get so controlling and interrogative. However, he was not irrational or suspicious with his words but it annoyed her being answerable every now and then. She broke up on the grounds on ‘he is too over-possessive and conservative’ and ‘get a life dude! It is 2010 not 1940s’.

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