Pour on the Honey: How to Turn on the Charm to Get What You Want

Some people just seem to get whatever they want. My friend Karen managed to wheedle a huge car allowance from her boss, a brand new Hermes bag from her dad for Christmas, and unlimited usage of her boyfriend’s brand new car. Total strangers will help her carry her shopping, pay for her coffee and insist she takes that last free upgrade to a business class seat on a New York – London flight. How does she do it? “It’s all about charm,” she says.

Socially adept people like Karen know something we lesser mortals have yet to hit upon: charm opens doors and gets you what you want without all that silly fussing with jobs and money. Just as you would turn on the charm when you’re flirting with a guy you really like, pouring on the honey in any social situation can help make life better – and a lot more fun, too.

Seven Reasons Why Charming People Have More Fun:

1. Charming people stand out in a crowd. It’s a heady mix of confidence, poise, friendliness, warmth and sincerity. Most of us get by with a mutter and direct eye contact with the counter top in most situations, but charm princesses know that direct eye contact, a genuine smile and some well-placed compliments will take you far. They know that people crave attention, and making people happy means they want to return the favor too. Everyone wants to know who that girl is at the centre of the crowd, and maybe get to be her friend, too.
2. Charming people get the best service. Anyone who has done their share of part-time work at the local diner knows that the best people to serve are the ones who smile at you, don’t treat you like you’re from a lower class, always say please and thank you – and tip well. People who are treated respectfully generally respond in kind, and grateful people will provide service over and beyond the call of duty.
3. Charming people always look good. It’s not just a matter of dress, although what you wear counts too. You won’t get too respect and interest if you look like a Salvation Army orphan without a laundromat budget. Looking good also goes beyond proper dressing, and charming people know how to project a good image from their bearing, manners and the tone of their voice. Don’t forget, a constant smile and positive outlook can do just as much good as the right makeup.
4. Charming people are happier. You can hardly be charming if you aren’t smiling! Real charmers are also positive, upbeat and cheerful – it’s part of their charm. Positive energy is infectious and just having a charming person in your life can make your day that much brighter.
5. Charming people get more dates. In a study conducted by the University of Waterloo, 85% of respondents stated that the main reason for their attraction to their current partners was their charm. Knowing how to pay close attention, show genuine interest and admiration are some ways that charming people score in the love arena.
6. Charming people are more successful. It’s a fact: people skills help you get ahead. Very often people fail at work because they don’t manage to build a good rapport with their bosses and colleagues. Charming people know the value of communication skills and how to harness the art of persuasion to close favorable negotiations and deals, whether with clients or within the work organization.
7. Charming people are great friends. Great listening skills, a scintillating wit and a giving personality are all things that recommend a charmer as a friend. Charming people value their people skills so they don’t take friendship for granted. Their confidence and self-esteem means they won’t feel the need to steal a best-friend’s guy. Being the friend of a popular charmer can also be great for basking in the shared limelight!

4 Ways To Increase Your Charm Factor

Unless you are a natural born charmer, charm doesn’t come easily to most of us. Cultivating social intelligence boosts your EQ, improves your relationships and makes you a well-rounded individual.