Pre-Judging and Expectations
How many times did it end up that the person we expect to dislike wound up as one of our best friends while the guy that we are expected to like turned out to be just a casual friend or at worse became an enemy or foe.
Same goes when someone tells you “I’ll introduce you to this girl, she’s very pretty” or “you know this person? She’s really not good looking at all.” How many times have we ended up going home thinking otherwise? We wound up saying “Not that pretty really!” or “she isn’t that ugly, actually I think she’s cute”.
Try this: Tell someone that the guy approaching him is one generous person then tell another person how stingy he is. He will give them the same amount of money, but believe me, you are going to hear varying comments. Why? Because guy # 1 expects a generous guy (thus he expects more), while guy # 2 is picturing a stingy guy (thus he expects nothing).
When we expect bad things, we are actually starting from ground -zero (0%) and it’s nowhere to go but up, that means anything above zero is better already. When we expect good things, we are starting from 100% and it’s going nowhere but down, which means anything below 100 is a disappointment already.
How many relationships began from “disliking each other” only to hear years after that they turned into a happy couple (or best of friends) and also how many love at 1st sight cases turned out into bitter-hate relationship?
So what’s the point in telling you all these?
When someone tells you this and that about a certain person, I’m not saying “shut them out”, please listen as well. But avoid making conclusions about them, avoid making having expectations as well. Instead go out there and meet with them personally, get to know them from ground zero and free of prejudice. Always go in with the mentality of “I still don’t know this person yet.” instead of drawing pictures about what you hear from others. You judge them only when you get to know them personally. You try that and believe me you’ll end up with a ton-load less of disappointments and an even more ton-loads of pleasant surprises.
After all as I’ve always said how many times did it end up that the person we expect to dislike wound up as one of our best friends while the guy that we are expected to like turned out to be just a casual friend or at worse became an enemy or foe.
“Expectations beget disappointments.
No expectations, no disappointments.”
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