Pre Marital Sex
Just some points and opinions on having sex before marriage.
Here’s my view on pre-marital sex but please keep in mind I come from a different generation then some. Like most, before I had sex I thought the right thing to do was waiting till you got married to have sex. High school soon changed my view point on this.
Coming from a broken home I was never really interested in getting married because me and mostly everyone I knew at the time, parents where divorced. As I grew I had a few relationships along the way that I thought it could be the one. Then the sex thing started coming up in the relationships.
Believe it or not the first girl I was ever with made a point to me which I still remember to this day. You might not agree but I live by this now. She said “What’s The Point of Waiting To Have Sex Till You Get Married? What Happens If The 2 People Don’t Click Sexual Together Then They Have No Chance” which I thought about then it did kind of make sense. See in my eyes if the 2 people don’t have “GOOD SEX” then the marriage doesn’t stand a chance because one of the people if not both will be dissatisfied and look else where for pleasure then which causes cheating then divorce.
So basically what I’m trying to say I think personally if you’re serious about marrying someone you have to know if you’re both sexually compatible before the marriage go’s through.
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User Comments
Andy-N
On March 13, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Well written.
I disagree though. Taking whether you feel it is moral not out of the equation I feel you are missing a fundamental point. You only are learning the physical aspect of intimacy from your test drive scenario. Which no matter who you are will only captivate you for so long. Maybe years or maybe months. But two people who enter a marriage out of true commitment and actual love will experience sex on an entirely different level. A level that will grow and last forever.
The fact that there are people too quick to marry and view sex as an activity, like going to the movies is simply cheating yourself. For those who have experienced what I am saying can confirm my point.
Statistically people who live together before marriage have a divorce rate of quadruple that of those who do not.
Allope
On December 25, 2008 at 10:11 pm
There was a legal argument given in class a while back that actually advocated sex before marriage citing one guy who wouldn’t have sex before he was married only to discover he’d married a guy who was pre op. the marriage was annulled.
Anonymous
On December 27, 2008 at 12:02 am
>There was a legal argument given in class a while back that actually advocated sex before marriage citing one guy who wouldn’t have sex before he was married only to discover he’d married a guy who was pre op. the marriage was annulled.
His husband/wife must have made a very convincing trap then. Lulz.
The whole “wait till you’re married to have sex” thing is really nothing more than a holdover from antiquity and male-dominated societies where property had to be passed down to real progeny. Because they didn’t have DNA tests back then, the only way to make sure your firstborn who would inherit everything was really your firstborn was to make sure your wife was a virgin. Thankfully, DNA tests and contraceptives have eradicated this notion.
Linda
On January 2, 2009 at 7:02 pm
I totally disagree. What a wrong message you are sending.
Are you saying that a relationship is only as good as the sex is? Then the relationship is based on “good sex” more than it is on loving the person. It may be good sex now but what about later in life? Sex is part of the relationship but it’s not what makes the relationship. And you shouldn’t “test drive” a partner before you get married. Are you marrying the person for who they are or are you marrying the person on their performance. Wake up people. Love is not about satifying your own needs.
Beth
On January 23, 2009 at 8:16 am
I totally agree. You marry some one because you love them, love is more than sex, more than pleasure, more than your own satisfaction. Me and my boyfriend are in a pretty intense situation. We really do love each other, we want to get married.. but it wont be for a few years at least and we don’t know whether we should wait until marriage or not. Personally i think its different for everyone, what is best for one person may not be best for another. I think as long as you are having sex for the right reasons then it’s ok to have sex before you get married. If you love each other, trust each other, care for each other, appreciate each other.. then it’s right. right? But then there’s this little voice somewhere saying no. Is it wrong? Why so? Love is so confusing.
TennisGirl528
On February 4, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Well written, but I agree with the first poster. There is so much more to a relationship with sex, and “good sex” is about so much more than sheer physicality. Besides, even if you find you don’t have “good sex,” communication is the key to every relationship. If you can’t communicate about what you want, you shouldn’t be having sex in the first place, so, if you find someone you love and share enough emotional intimacy with to have sex is terrible in bed, you can communicate with them as to what you want. Even if for some reason that weren’t so, I’d take a lifetime of bad sex in a relationship with love and intimacy over good sex in an empty relationship.
Yochana
On February 4, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I really disagree of what you are trying to say. Marriage is not measured only through “good sex” which your trying to imply. If you love the person, you could wait until you got married.
SheKnows
On February 5, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Sex before marriage is better than just a test drive. Sex teaches you alot about yourself and your emotions. Sexual relationships allow you to grow as a person and discover more about yourself and about other people.
debra
On March 18, 2009 at 9:06 am
sex before marriage is bad because you are not following god you are sinners if u do so
Mrs. Jenkins
On March 20, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I agree with the article to a certain degree. I feel that if both people in the relationship are virgins, how can they know if it’s bad or not? I feel that if you’ve waited this long, then you can definitely wait until the honeymoo. Now, I do feel, by me already have engaged in sexual activity, that my fiance and I couldn’t possibly wait until marriage now because we’ve already experienced the pleasure. So, yes, if you have had sex, I do believe that your curiosity wouldn’t allow you to get hitched without having sex, but I do feel that you’ve only had sex once, or never, than you would not miss out and can resist until marriag. But again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Mrs. Jenkins
On March 20, 2009 at 2:01 pm
And Beth, I totally agree with you. If you’re picking up strangers and old friends just for a one night sex fling, then I feel you shouldn’t be sexually invovled at all; however, if your heart is in the right place and you’re ready to comment yourself to one person (rather it lasts or not-at least you’ve tried) then I don’t frown upon it. Your body makes a commitment just like your heart and mind does. Just like you’d be careful with your heart, you should be careful with your body.
norah13
On March 22, 2009 at 12:31 pm
very true, sex is not the only element to keep a marriage happy and strong but yes u need to have good sex for good relationship, by my true experience, a man emotionally attaches himself if and only if the woman trusts him and surrenders herself to him..that makes him respect her and trust her for life..every man may not think like this but to certain extent it is true …and once a couple are physically satisfied they will put their effort to make the marriage work..
and i don’t think pre-marital sex is wrong but our society has mad it look like its a sin..it has been practiced since a long long time but people then..never opened up now the generation is liberal and talks about it…thats the only difference
ilovesex
On March 23, 2009 at 7:19 am
sex is good
its in the bible
SEX IS OK
i love sex
very much
anyone wanna talkk?!
Cinderella
On April 1, 2009 at 6:48 pm
I have to write a premarital sex paper for school..Im not sure what i want to do yet..i am not a vergin but i am still young. I have thoughts about this subject…still i wander if god is mad at me for being so yung and having sex..i feel as if im in love though..what should i do??
RiSHABh
On April 11, 2009 at 3:24 am
NiCE 1 …- ANDY_N…… cOOL….
Naena
On April 25, 2009 at 2:07 am
Dear Debra,
I know you disagree with this and so do I, but it does not give you the right to say that “those who have sex before marriage are sinners”. First of all, we all sin everyday and according to the Bible each sin is the same, no greater than the other. And also, I believe that eversince Jesus died on the cross for our sins, we are not claimed to be “sinners”, but good people who do bad things or sin.
You also mentioned in the same sentence that we aren’t following God if we have pre-marital sex. But are we following God if we judge one another about “their” sins and not even thinking about the fact that we sin too?
Bertha
On May 7, 2009 at 7:55 am
i’m god.
in bed.
Anonymous
On May 30, 2009 at 1:52 pm
@First poster
Commitment wears off fast. You’re in your little dream world, nowadays, stupid kids fall out of love faster than they fall in love. But I wouldn’t want to have an impotent 25 year old husband, if I had the choice.
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