How many times had we been put in crossroad decisions? A promise to our spouse about a planned dinner date, a commitment to our kids to attend their school programs. A family schedule to go out-of-town or watch a basketball game, then everything goes in smoke because of a request from a client, an order from the boss or even worse giving in to ribbings of group friends.

I’ll admit these decisions can be pretty tough. Yet for some others it’s so clear-cut simple. “Clients come 1ST (work comes 1st), hanging out with friends take top priority. “My family will understand.” Of course there will be cancelled dates, unfulfilled promises along the way, but if they are done “once-too-often”, it leaves a long-lasting scar in the victims. I have some friends who come up and tell me experiences wherein their parents promised them this and that, then failed to act on them. Just imagine after all these years, they still remember them! A wife/husband who always get brushed aside because their mates always assume “they will understand”. So much for all those broken families and marriages. Some will voice out their displeasure, what about the others who just bottle-up all the bitterness? That should explain why some people are so untrusting & suspicious, why some people can’t believe good things can happen to them..

I have some shares of those experiences when I was a child and believe me, every one of them hurts (just imagine the anticipation, then the disappointment that comes thereafter). Of course we have our fun moments also. Yet what about those who are being consistently denied??

I’m not encouraging that we turn-down every clients’ requests (especially our boss’ orders) or friends’ invitation. But we have to draw certain a line and a certain limitation. A deadline to be met/an emergency issue in the office, a rush delivery needed by the client or a friend who is migrating inviting us out is fine. But to give-in on every request because “We are afraid of displeasing them(or being laughed at) (plus) + “My family will understand” mentality is the surest way to alienate your kids and mates away from your life.

Remember every unfulfilled promise we make to our mates, friends or children has a far long lasting effect than we imagine. If we could only read what goes in their heart and mind. You’ll be amazed at all those hurts and disappointments.