Pros & Cons of Cohabitation
by It’s a great way to test out a relationship, and a growing trend.
The choice is a difficult one when you reach that point in a relationship: Do I let him move in or do I insist he keep his bachelor pad? Do I want to take this relationship to the next level or keep it more it moving at a steady pace? Do I want to go to bed seeing his face and wake up to his teddy bear arms? Will he cover half my expenses–can I count on him to be reliable to do this? Is this a good life choice for me? All of these will affect our life once we allow the person we’re dating move in, and I am in favor of this decision. I have, and will, do it again. Here are some of the main reasons this may be a good option.
1. It provides you a way to see the person 3-D.
When they don’t live with you, be guaranteed there are skeletons in their closet. They may be hiding mood swings, tempers, bad financial histories, or things on you that you never have never seen before. My ex-boyfriend changed literally overnight when we moved in together. He went from calm to abusive in a matter of days. If he tries to be controlling, or signs of isolation show up, start to get out. There’s no reason you should tolerate their abuse (mental,verbal, emotional, or physical.)
2. It provides financial support.
If your bills are cut in half, great. Just make sure that you pay your bills and he pays he bills. Don’t let him push you into paying anything you didn’t agree to and vice versa. Everything you put your name on, read clearly to make sure you understand the contract agreements. This will save you a lot of court fees in the end.
3. It’s convinent.
I would not recommend you live together if you work together and see each other constantly throughout the day. When would you get a break from one another? However, if you don’t, then living together might be a good option for you. Just set personal boundaries that the other can’t cross without a fight being the consequence. If you let them become a bully, then they’re going to take advantage of you. If this happens, move into your own place or simply kick them out.
4. It allows you to share housework.
if you can get them to help you, the mopping won’t just be on you anymore. You’ll have a dish partner and another person to help clean the apartment. By no means be their servant and clean up after them. You’re an adult worthy of respect and you deserve better than that. Stand up to them, and I’m sure they’ll respect you for it.
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Post Commentcutedrishti8
On October 14, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Great piece of work…
Hollywood James
On October 14, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Nice article. It sounds as though your previous bad experience has prompted you to make a checklist of things you wished you had done. In my opinion, if you feel it’s necessary to have a list, then the relationship will probably fail anyway…so what’s the point? A relationship is supposed to flow…naturally, and if there is real love between the two people, it’ll just work. All the points you have highlighted, again, in my opinion, are trivial unless you have doubts that the relationship is really right for you.
Frances Lawrence
On October 17, 2009 at 5:17 pm
I disagree with James, I think this is well thought through advice. Love doesn’t just work, it takes effort and consideration on both sides. If you get into this without any proper agreement things are likely to go wrong. It is wise to protect yourself. By the way I have not had a bad experience.
T.Rex McGoogle
On November 8, 2009 at 12:12 pm
It does a good job covering most all of the basics of that lifestyle. I think it can be a wiser course to take Of course you have to be careful.
T.Rex McGoogle
On November 8, 2009 at 12:12 pm
It does a good job covering most all of the basics of that lifestyle. I think it can be a wiser course to take. Of course, you have to be careful.
LoveDoctor
On November 14, 2009 at 12:15 am
Great article and good points. I agree that these days you have to know the person well before you jump into marriage, which 50% or more of marriages today end up in divorce anyways. Not necessarily because they fell out of love, but maybe they rushed into the relationship too soon or without knowing what makes the person tick. little things like that. I like how you stress about not putting up with abuse. Abuse, like you said can range from physical to mental and emotional. There are a lot of abusive guys and girls who stay in these abusive/ controlling relationships. Stand up for yourself like you said. It’s a matter of respect.
LoveDoctor
On January 8, 2010 at 4:59 pm
I realize that I had already posted a comment on this article. I am very open-minded about things and in the past I thought it would be a great way to get to know the other person and like you said a good test, but now I wouldn’t move in with anyone. I believe that those who move in are not sure if they are in love and this is very convenient for those guys who are scared of commitment. I am a little more experienced with relationships now and I would advise women not to settle for anything that they don’t deserve. If the guy you are with loves you enough and accepts you for who you are he will put that ring on your finger and if he doesn’t just let him go then he wasn’t the guy for you. Yes, it does work for some. I have friends who live with their boyfriends, but don’t expect a commitment because sometimes it just won’t happen. And don’t let a man string you along either. Excellent article.
ken bultman
On January 18, 2010 at 4:33 am
You have posted a well-written, well thought-out article, subjective from a female point of view. No cohabitation is going to run100 percent smoothly so under your program you will be moving in new partners for the rest of your life. I think you’re looking at this as a way of cutting your expenses which you could do by renting out a room.